Dear Bush Brothers,
I can appreciate Jeb sending in the Florida Department of Law Enforcement to forcibly take Terri Schiavo from her bed, but please read my previous post. In the television age, nothing substitutes for getting your own mug up front and center in that TV lens. Here's how Jeb can win back those 17 percent of hardcore flat-earthers that are now turning on him.
First, alert the press that you will be making a dramatic speech in front of the hospice where Ms. Schiavo resides. Then, in loin cloth and crown of thorns, make your entrance while carrying a massive wooden cross. When you get to the lectern and all the cameras are ready, say to God, "Take me, Lord. Save Terri, and take me!" Then turn to the police guarding the hospice and say, "I am going to reinsert the feeding tube. You will have to shoot me to stop me." Then make them shoot you. If you're lucky, it won't be fatal, and your political career as leader of the soon-to-be-formed Party of God will be assured.
And if you don't survive your wounds, well, you'll be a hell of a mascot. And, of course, your big brother Georgie will benefit enormously. Or, as I wrote yesterday, have Barb do it for you.
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