This Is Your Brain. This Is Your Brain on Freud.

I love the smell of anxiety in the morning! Smells like...victory!

Media Crash

Ha! Big surprise--this administration considers Tim Russert as their boy, which was pretty obvious every time he had one of their number of his NBC-based "Press the Meat" television ass-kissing venue. Under the guise of "hard-hitting" journalist, I can concede Russert asks tough questions. But he falls down in the follow-up nearly every time, as if incapable of anticipating a lie and then challenging effectively. So he has Dick Cheney on, for example, poses what seems a pointed, grilling question, and then, when Cheney out-and-out lies, Russert simply goes on to the next topic rather than saying, "Say what, motherfucker? Don't bullshit me, bald man."

Liberal media, my ass. One of the reasons we're in such a state with regard to Iraq, not to mention just about every other arena, is that the press did not do their job. They should always be challenging the statements of people in power, forcing them to produce the evidence and the reasoning they are using upon it. Instead of being a counterweight to power, they acted as a megaphone for it, and had we not had the alternative media power of the Internet, I shudder to think of how much worse it might have been.

To give the mainstream media their due, it is true that their resources and skills uncover most of the news. They have the means, the money, the expertise, and there are some damned good journalists out there, but the media as a whole has become so beholden to economic interests on the one hand, and the "inside the beltway" press has become so interwoven with the power brokers on the other, that they are now of the same class, with the same interests, and with the same disregard for the general citizenry.

And I wish they would lay off Lindsay Lohan, for chrissakes. Jeez--let the young woman get her shit together. I think she's wonderfully talented. Yes, I do have a weakness for redheads. Is that a crime?

Um, ahem. Sorry. What I mean is that all this obsession for celebrity misdoings just sucks the energy away from stuff that really matters to people's actual lives. Who gives a fuck if two obnoxious media whores like Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell are having a bitch-slapping contest? Actually, that piece by Andy Borowitz is pretty damned funny.

The ongoing feud between Rosie O'Donnell and Donald Trump could have deadly consequences for the world if either obtained nuclear weapons, a group of leading nuclear scientists announced today.

The Chicago-based Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists, founded in 1945 as a publication by nuclear physicists worried about the possibility of nuclear war, expressed their concern about the Rosie-Trump brouhaha by moving the Doomsday Clock forward to three minutes to midnight.

It's Friday. What can I tell you?

YOU Will Live Blog SoTU!

I'm going to the movies with our neighbor (Children of Men, with movie popcorn for dinner). I sat through Chimpie's "surge" speech on Iraq, and if you expect me to remain even marginally civil, I can't do it again so soon. Have a little mercy, for heaven's sake.

So here's my proposal--you all live blog through the comments function on this post and get me up to date when I get back from the movie.

Otherwise, the next post after this photo will be of MY head exploding.

Not that that would have a deleterious effect on my thinking, of course.

Oh, and if you need a warm-up or a replacement SoTU, watch this. It will make your head explode, it's so goddamned funny. And the Dems response is even funnier.

Two of These Are Not Olaf

Can you figure out who's who? Vote now! You could be the big winner and get to watch the SoTU with one of these dudes!

Feel the Excitement? It's Almost Magic Time!

Oh, I don't know about you, but I'm about ready to pop knowing that Fearless Leader is about to address the nation on the State of the Union. I can't wait to hear the major leaps we've made toward detoxing from last year's declaration of our addiction to oil and our continuing escalation of success in Iraq. I'll be leaping to my feet as we learn about the great plans for universal health care and the rebirth of New Orleans as the major vacation spot in America. We'll learn of our other victories in the War on Drugs, the War on Poverty, War on Terror, and the War on Christmas. It's going to be such a glorious speech--I can just feel it. We'll once again know the true meaning of "compassionate conservatism" from the man who not only is "a uniter, not a divider," but also a "decider" who knows the meaning of "working hard for the American people" and who really knows when to surge, when to declare mission accomplished and when to admit his mistakes and correct his course, always with only our interests first and foremost in his thoughts and prayers.

And I think they're going to catch that Osama guy tonight, or so my sources tell me, because with Saddam dead we don't want to forget why we went into Iraq. Oh, wait...Osama's in Afghanistan or Pakistan, isn't he? Well, close enough.

The truly priceless thing will be to see Nancy Pelosi and Dick Cheney seated side by side in the spirit of true bipartisan love. And while Fearless (for other people's children) Leader runs through his litany of success, we'll get to watch the firm-handed opposition party jump to applaud his every declaration. It's exhilirating to be living in a democracy with such responsiveness to the will of the people.

I'll be popping popcorn and icing down the Pilsner Urquell. Come join me in our national celebration of truth, justice, and the American way!