This Week's Second No-Shit-Sherlock Award!

Surprise! Surprise! The genius of our elected representatives has discovered that Americans want universal health care.

Imagine that: health care as a right in the world's wealthiest country. What are these people? God-damned socialists? What's next? Clean air? Water? A free and independent press? The right to protest outside a "free-speech zone"?

The commies are coming! Be scared! Be very scared! Oh, and don't forget that gays are wanting you to get divorced, burn flags, and marry illegal aliens of the same sex.

Leadership? I like what Ed Abbey said: "Adults don't need leaders."

While the Decider and the Republican Cohort Were "Defending" Marriage...

A nice collection of severed heads was found in Iraq, where we're "winning the war on terror."

Fifty folks were kidnapped by gunmen in central Bagdad, where we're "winning the war on terror."

Six thousand Iraqi citizens have died violently in Bagdad, the center of our continuing success in "winning the war on terror."

The hurricane season has commenced and New Orleans remains vulnerable.

The stock market shudders downward.

The U.S. dollar collapses.

Interest rates have hit a five-year high, squeezing everyone.

We are rather short of vaccine in preparation for the avian flu.

Two more American soldiers killed in our other "winning the war on terror" venue, Afghanistan.

Thanks to "winning the war on terror," gas prices are terrific!

And finally, as of today, the average American's individual share of the national debt has risen to over $28,000!

None of this matters, of course, if gays get the chance to destroy marriage by wanting to participate in it, or if Jesus decides the time has come and returns to earth to kill liberals, Prius drivers, vegetarians, and poor people.

I'm so glad it's Chimpie in Charge. He's the Decider.