Tuesday, June 06, 2006

While the Decider and the Republican Cohort Were "Defending" Marriage...

A nice collection of severed heads was found in Iraq, where we're "winning the war on terror."

Fifty folks were kidnapped by gunmen in central Bagdad, where we're "winning the war on terror."

Six thousand Iraqi citizens have died violently in Bagdad, the center of our continuing success in "winning the war on terror."

The hurricane season has commenced and New Orleans remains vulnerable.

The stock market shudders downward.

The U.S. dollar collapses.

Interest rates have hit a five-year high, squeezing everyone.

We are rather short of vaccine in preparation for the avian flu.

Two more American soldiers killed in our other "winning the war on terror" venue, Afghanistan.

Thanks to "winning the war on terror," gas prices are terrific!

And finally, as of today, the average American's individual share of the national debt has risen to over $28,000!

None of this matters, of course, if gays get the chance to destroy marriage by wanting to participate in it, or if Jesus decides the time has come and returns to earth to kill liberals, Prius drivers, vegetarians, and poor people.

I'm so glad it's Chimpie in Charge. He's the Decider.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

On the local news on Monday, a general came on and said the media focus almost entirely on the "negative aspects" of the war on terror, rather than the multitudes of wonderful things the military do every day in Iraq and Afghanistan. Moreover, this kind of coverage ONLY HELPS THE TERRORISTS. So, Olaf, I implore you to begin considering some of the "positive aspects" of this war... YOU DON"T WANT TO BE A TERRORIST, DO YOU?!?!?!?!

Anonymous said...

Re: "if Jesus decides the time has come and returns to earth to kill liberals, Prius drivers, vegetarians, and poor people..."

I thought BUSH was the "DECIDER."

Olaf said...

Well, of course Jesus would have to ask our Imperial Majesty Bush's permission to return.

Sorry for the terrible mistake. You are correct: Chimpie IS the DECIDER.

Olaf said...

Oh, and to the first anonymous' post: Now you've done it. The NSA has now linked the words "Olaf" and "terrorist." Also "anonymous." We're all screwed now.

Anonymous said...

Olaf... Christian... Jesus... Anonymous... Patriot... Freedom... Condoleeza... Do you think THAT got it?