In Your Pants and in Your Bedroom

Nice expose' of the rightwings views on privacy. First we have this gem from Tom "Giant Flying Cockroach" Delay, who is still circling the shit-encrusted sewer inlet and none too quietly:

The reason the judiciary has been able to impose a separation of church and state that's nowhere in the Constitution is that Congress didn't stop them. The reason we had judicial review is because Congress didn't stop them. The reason we had a right to privacy is because Congress didn't stop them.

Got that? DeLay would like us to have no right to privacy. Okay, Tommy, open your bank accounts, your financial records, release all your home sex videos, and we'd like an interview about your particular sex practices, especially after this exchange yesterday between NYU students and Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia courtesy of BlueMeme and the New York Post:

WHEN U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia (above) spoke Tuesday night at NYU's Vanderbilt Hall, "The room was packed with some 300 students and there were many protesters outside because of Scalia's vitriolic dissent last year in the case that overturned the Texas law against gay sex," our source reports. "One gay student asked whether government had any business enacting and enforcing laws against consensual sodomy. Following Scalia's answer, the student asked a follow-up: 'Do you sodomize your wife?' The audience was shocked, especially since Mrs. Scalia [Maureen] was in attendance. The justice replied that the question was unworthy of an answer."

Now this confuses me, unless Scalia was invoking his Fifth Amendment privilege against self-incrimination. Has he been buggering the wife? Gotten some oral? Given it? Had livestock in the mix? By both his and DeLay's lights, that behavior between consenting adults is open to legal scrutiny, so come on boys, don't be hypocrites about it. Now if livestock was indeed involved in either DeLay's or Scalia's sexual escapades, without signed consent forms I'm afraid these fellows are headed for the slammer under animal cruelty laws at least.

And perhaps they need a little jail time just for making the rest of us even consider them in sexual congress at all. Sheesh! I tried watching Silence of the Lambs to erase that horror from my mind, but even Hannibal Lecter isn't that scary.

Chilling Fiction

A friend alerted me to this column by attorney and professor Patricia Williams in the Nation concerning a high school junior whose fictional story got him classified as a terrorist.

William Poole, a high school junior from Kentucky, was taken into custody and charged with threatening to commit second-degree-felony terrorism for writing a story about a horde of zombies who wreak havoc in a school. It seems the boy's grandparents had been reading his journal, found a story he'd been writing for English class and promptly turned him in. According to a police detective, "Anytime you make any threat or possess matter involving a school or function, it's a felony in the state of Kentucky."

I read fiction, write it, and teach fiction writing at a small university, and this piece chilled me to the bone. How oppressive is a society which punishes acts of the imagination? It's a terrifying notion.

One of the things that I truly believe about art is its unique value for exploration and understanding. If you can write about something, you likely will not have to actually do it. And in a work of fiction, because it is fiction, and because of what I may have naively assumed about the First Amendment, a writer is permitted to explore anything. Now a teenage boy writing about zombies attacking a school doesn't strike me as particularly odd in the least; in fact, it's hardly a great leap of the imagination, and I discourage such genre writing, preferring that students start with learning to record their own sensory experiences. Still, zombies are fascinating creatures, partially because of their use as metaphor for desensitized citizens in a wholly mediated world, and also because they're, well, scary.

But what is far scarier still is that a teenager could be locked up as a terrorist for simply writing about this. I don't know whether this action by law enforcement is because they are left so little latitude by the statute or because they are so terrified by the prospect of oversight by the Justice Department resulting in some career-ending move, but it's hard not to laugh at the circumstances of this case. Except that it's not funny.

The implications of this episode point toward totalitarian excess, and I'm pretty confident the arrest will be thrown out for the numb-minded exercise in overzealous interpretation that it is. How is a story a threat? Can you imagine this standard applied to all the murder mysteries, disaster movies, and television crime dramas?

Let's hope that the grandparents, the police, and the prosecutors get a grip and let the boy go home. Putting a chill on literary expression can't be a goal of the No Child Left Behind Act, can it?

I Made a Mistake!

I will now do something that George W. Bush, Tom DeLay, Bill O'Reilly, and countless other rightwing nutwads are constitutionally unable to do: admit a mistake.

Several helpful commenters pointed out that I failed to make clear that my earlier post "Dishonest and Incompetent Is Too Much" contained NOT an actual Financial Times editorial but rather a letter from Dr. Ian Rutledge to the FT.

My mistake. I apologize. I do, however, think that Dr. Rutledge's credentials are solid, his arguments powerful, and his writing worthy of note, and I sincerely hope that my error in no way negatively reflects on his fine piece.

So there. After all, I am not now, nor have I ever been, a journalist.

Tortureboy Keeps America Safe from Bronze Breasts

From the Washington Post today (you'll have to scroll down):

No one asked Attorney General Alberto R. Gonzales at his recent confirmation hearings about his intentions with regard to "Lady Justice," the 12-foot semi-nude statue at the Justice Department that former attorney general John D. Ashcroft had covered with a large blue drape.

But Loop fans predicted overwhelmingly that Gonzales would keep "Minnie Lou," as she's called, behind the big blue burka. Appears they were right. A senior department official told us recently she'll stay covered. "I've not even heard any discussion about" dropping the drape, he said.

Thank heavens that the Depression-era semi-nude bronze body won't be able to corrupt America.

Now, if Tortureboy could just intern SpongeBob Squarepants at Guantanamo, we'd be secure.

Tom DeLay: We Want YOU to Be the Enduring Symbol of the Republican Party

Tom "Giant Flying Cockroach" DeLay has got it all wrong. He thinks the Democrats want to take him down. Well, maybe they do, I don't know. I'm a registered independent and no longer privy to the inner councils of either party (that's a joke). It's reported by the Associated Press that the Republican spin on the Cockroach's troubles is the following:

One Republican said the Texan referred to a "mammoth operation" funded by Democratic supporters and designed to destroy him as a symbol of the Republican majority.

I can't speak for the Democrats, to be sure, but let me make my position absolutely clear: I want Tom DeLay to be the eternal and ubiquitous face of the Republican Party forevermore, no matter what he has done and no matter what happens. I think they should just replace the elephant with DeLay's cheery mug. I like this one. And then there's this one.

True Republicans will get this one tattooed in a special place. That way there will be no mistaking the hard-corps, right-wing, rapture-ready theocratic Republicans from the weak sisters who aren't ready to don their black shirts and smash the Constitution.

A Pox on Our Houses, Both Republican and Democrat

This is why we need to maintain such a huge military budget, because we wreak havoc on those who are blameless, and then rationalize it from the fat safety of America. Whether Powell, Rice, or Albright, if you're an Iraqi child, it's all the same. From the Guardian in Tony Blair's UK:

It now appears that, far from improving the quality of life for Iraqi youngsters, the US-led military assault on Iraq has inexplicably doubled the number of children under five suffering from malnutrition. Under Saddam, about 4% of children under five were going hungry, whereas by the end of last year almost 8% were suffering.

These results are even more disheartening for those of us in the Department of Making Things Better for Children in the Middle East By Military Force, since the previous attempts by Britain and America to improve the lot of Iraqi children also proved disappointing. For example, the policy of applying the most draconian sanctions in living memory totally failed to improve conditions. After they were imposed in 1990, the number of children under five who died increased by a factor of six. By 1995 something like half a million Iraqi children were dead as a result of our efforts to help them.

A year later, Madeleine Albright, then the US ambassador to the United Nations, tried to put a brave face on it. When a TV interviewer remarked that more children had died in Iraq through sanctions than were killed in Hiroshima, Mrs Albright famously replied: "We think the price is worth it."

But clearly George Bush didn't. So he hit on the idea of bombing them instead. And not just bombing, but capturing and torturing their fathers, humiliating their mothers, shooting at them from road blocks - but none of it seems to do any good. Iraqi children simply refuse to be better nourished, healthier and less inclined to die. It is truly baffling.

And if you're of the ilk who thinks, "Ah, hell, they're just some damn foreigners, anyway," sink your bigoted teeth into this:

In the UK there may now be 3.6 million children living below the poverty line, and 12.9 million in the US, with no prospect of either government finding any cash to change that.

Fucking family values, my ass. It's a great system we've got working here, ain't it?

Reason to Believe in the Coming of the Antichrist

Even the atheists are rethinking the Bible on this news: Eye on '08, Newt hits Iowa, N.H.:

News of Gingrich’s foray into the presidential battleground and the array of politically significant activities have prompted enthusiastic responses from House Republicans. All GOP lawmakers who spoke with The Hill said he would be a top-tier candidate who could seriously challenge the early front-runners, Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) and former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani.

Gee, a guy who divorces his wife while she recovers from cancer in the hospital so he can marry his adulteress, and then cheats on her with an intern, who becomes his third wife...I love family values! From the National Review archives:

Americans subsequently learned that while Gingrich was defending his House majority and presiding over President Clinton's impeachment, he also was enjoying his own lengthy affair with Callista Bisek, a then-32-year-old House Agriculture Committee staffer. This relationship was not just immoral, but staggeringly reckless politically.

I also love the complete lack of irony that characterizes the rightwing party flunkies:

Rep. Tom Feeney (R-Fla.), who served two years as Speaker of the Florida House of Representatives, said Gingrich’s skill set may be better suited for the White House than it was for the Speaker’s office.

Indeed. Since the White House seems to be the place for a draft-dodging, semiliterate, lying wannabe Stalin nincompoop, I can see that Gingrich would seem to be perfect. After all, he's fully literate, while having all the other attributes. Bring it on, Newtie-boy!

Dishonest and Incompetent Is Too Much

The Bushits pushed us into a war on lies, and then, purely from hubris and astounding incompetence, managed to turn us into hostages to the insurgents in Iraq. Gas prices are soaring (which, if it finally moves us to more fuel conservation will be a good thing after the initial shock), supplies are getting iffy, and Americans are still dying for the cause of Big Oil. Yes, I'm partial to a particular viewpoint, but this time the rather conservative Financial Times is making the case:

But in the words of another US oil company executive, "it all turned out a lot more complicated than anyone had expected". Instead of the anticipated post-invasion rapid expansion of Iraqi production (an expectation of an additional 2m b/d entering the world market by now), the continuing violence of the insurgency has prevented Iraqi exports from even recovering to pre-invasion levels.

In short, the US appears to have fought a war for oil in the Middle East, and lost it. The consequences of that defeat are now plain for all to see.

And you are seeing them now, like it or not. Coffins and amputees coming back, gasoline at $2.50 a gallon, and no end in sight. Of course, does your mainstream media link this all together for you, or even acknowledge the war in Iraq? Not bloody likely, what with such essential news as Charles and Camilla's wedding, Michael Jackson, and the most ghoulish deathwatch over the Pope since, well, Terri Schiavo the week before.

What disturbs me even more is when I look at my students, almost none of whom have any awareness of how vulnerable they are becoming to an imminent draft, which will place many of them under the direct control of the most corrupt and incompetent administration in my lifetime, and that's over five decades. We are facing disaster and turning our heads away, hoping it will just go away. It's time for action, folks, to get rid of these crooks and liars and warmongers and fascists and hatemongers and their compliant enablers as well. It will take a kind of revolution to clean these shit-filled houses of shame. I just hope that there is something worth salvaging before it's too late. I do love my country, but the people running it have turned it into a whorehouse for the corporate and the wealthy. The people hold the power, but just as there is little difference between someone who doesn't read and someone who can't read, those who don't exercise the political power they do have are, in fact, as powerless as the most downtrodden in any dictatorship.

The Next Distraction

The shit is coming down hard on the heads of Republicans: DeLay's demise, the fallout from the Schiavo circus, the stagnating economy, the runup in gas prices, and much more. Unable to expect the mainstream media to continue too many more deathwatches now that the Pope has been put in his vault, the administration is going to have to whip up a new hysteria. Ready?

The threat of Iran.

My prediction: in the next six weeks we will be subjected to a steady drumbeat building up incrementally about the great threat Iran possesses in its nuclear capability, its strategic power in choking off oil transport from the Persian Gulf, and its links to terrorist organizations. None of these allegations, of course, will be any better than those used against Iraq, and so the warnings will have to be made even more shrill than before. Instead of "mushroom cloud" from the likes of Condi Rice and Bush, expect the rhetoric to focus on "a million dead and a city unihabitable" because of some imagined attack by Iranian-supported terrorists.

Remember, according to Seymour Hersh and Scott Ritter, the Bushits have their sights set on Iran in June, and there is no time to waste if they want to create the necessary network of lies to cover themselves. Fool me one, shame on me. Fool me twice...

Bush couldn't remember how that went, but let's hope that the Americans who bought the last bullshit round on Iraq will not be fooled again.

Close to the Final Chapter for the Bugman

I remember when Richard Nixon resigned, and the National Lampoon's cover the following month said, "Oh no!" After the rich vein of satirical gold that Tricky Dick had provided, their panic was palpable. I think I'm going to have the same reaction soon. Now that Tom "Giant Flying Cockroach" DeLay is being deserted by the administration, denounced by fellow Republican Chris Shays, turned on by his former good pal Jack Abramoff, and even denied three times by Rick Man-on-Dog Santorum, I'm betting that by summer DeLay will just be a dessicated stain on the kitchen linoleum of America...until he's rehabilitated, of course. Even if you're a convicted felon, the Republicans always manage to find a place for their vilest creatures.

Apparently, Karl Rove is finished with DeLay and ready to flush him with extreme prejudice, perhaps even leaving a revolver on the Bugman's coffee table after a late night visit. "I'll leave it to you, Tom. You have two ways out of this. Make the right choice."

So there the Cockroach sits, thinking about all that he has accomplished, and how close he has come to becoming the Heinrich Himmler of America, only to be slapped down by these weak sisters surrounding Bush. By his lights, the theofascist coup he hoped to inspire was ripe for the plucking--all that was needed was the will. How he has been betrayed! The true believers remain, of course, but...well, even the Cockroach has to admit they're nuts.

He regards the pistol in front of him. He stands up, picks up the gun.

"Fuckin' Rove," he says out loud. "Goddamn drama queen."

He aims the pistol at a photo on the wall, a picture of the Cockroach in happier days, shaking hands with El Presidente.

"Backstabber," he mutters bitterly. He flips open the cylinder of the revolver. It's empty. Karl's last little joke before he turns on the gas for the Giant Flying Cockroach.