Berlusconi, Blair, Bush: Yoked Together in Lies, and Soon in Disgrace

According to AFP news, Italian prime minister and Bush bud Silvio Berlusconi intervened to tone down Italy's military intelligence report on the shooting of freed hostage Giuliana Sgrena and the killing of agent Nicola Calipari by American troops.

Rome daily Il Messaggero reported "The head of government asks for changes", while the opposition-supporting La Repubblica claimed "Berlusconi imposes prudence".

"The report must be technical, only technical," it quoted Mr Berlusconi as saying, without giving any source.

"It can even be tough, but it must not in any event prejudice to the slightest degree political understanding with the United States."

Silvio has learned his lesson well--do not fuck with the political thugs who rule the United States. Learn from them on how to shape investigation reports, how to cow the intelligence services for political ends, how to lie to your nation to preserve your own power. But that cat, as the old saw goes, is out of the bag.

In Britain, Tony Blair is finding that his lies and secret plans are now catching up to him.

Mr Blair was challenged on whether he had seen Foreign Office legal advice in a BBC interview with Jeremy Paxman on 20 April. He replied: "No, I had the Attorney General's advice to guide me." In fact, Mr Blair had seen the Foreign Office advice as early as 8 March 2002, in an annex to a secret Cabinet Office "options paper". That annex is published in The Independent on Sunday for the first time today.

Another cat slips from the burlap and yowls.

Will Berlusconi and Blair be evicted from office on these revelations? I wish I could predict that they would, that they would be dragged out of their chambers in shame and recorded in history as conmen and liars and traitors to their citizens, but I'm just a schmuck with a blog. However, wishes do come true sometimes. And as the light is shone into the corners of Italian and British government, revealing subversion of truth and the public will, and as it burns away the veneer that has covered up so much deceit about Iraq, perhaps as I type this, George W. Bush is cowering in his White House bedroom, praying to his twisted notion of God that the cleansing will stop on the far side of the Atlantic, that his allies in the media will not ask any of those mean questions, that his wife can tell some more ribald jokes to distract the public from the ugly truth of his misrule, that his daddy's pals will once again pull his ass out of the fire. He prays, he cries, he begins to shake as he realizes that his arrogance has dragged him over a sharp edge into infamy as the worst president in U.S. history, as a war criminal, as a betrayer of the American people, even beyond what they might have deserved for having been suckered in by the phony shitkicking demeanor and terrorized by the expanding control of his corrupt enforcement apparatus.

But the dam has cracked, Georgie-boy, you smirking little shit. Even the lickspittle Washington Post has opened a shutter on your darkness, giving light and space for an opinion that will only grow and strip from you the pretense and disdain and arrogance. In the spreading light will be revealed a pathetic little man who should have stuck with his dream of becoming baseball commissioner rather than the black stain he is now become upon the history of our nation.

What Should Be Front Page and Featured in Prime Time

Wouldn't it be nice if the pretty girls and boys on TV news or the uglier but no less irresponsible print pluggers could pry their wits off of the "Missing White Woman" story or the "Man Licks Custard off Missing Finger" story long enough to read the following paragraph published in Britain:

A damning minute leaked to a Sunday newspaper reveals that in July 2002, a few weeks after meeting George Bush at his ranch in Crawford, Texas, Mr Blair summoned his closest aides for what amounted to a council of war. The minute reveals the head of British intelligence reported that President Bush had firmly made up his mind to invade Iraq and overthrow Saddam Hussein, adding that "the intelligence and facts were being fixed around the policy".

The last sentence in particular is worthy of at least a $50 million-dollar Ken Starr-style special prosecutor. "Intelligence and facts were being fixed around the policy," to justify an illegal war by selling the twisted information to the public through a kneepad press corps lining up to give an appointed president a rim job in the few instances when he deigned to show his ass to them. Yeah, Clinton's Whitewater thing and the blowjob really trump these sorts of shenanigans.

I'm so disgusted. I just hope Judith Miller of the New York Times and the others who pimped for the murder of so many innocents on all sides of this mess do the honorable thing, but of course, they're beyond honor, dignity, or truth. The First Amendment guarantees a free press, all right, but the provision of a free press lies in the hands of journalists, their editors, and apparently primarily under the thumb of their corporate overlords at GE, Disney, Viacom, et. al. The business of America is always just business, folks, and you're nothing but equipment for the death factory.

Enjoy yourselves.

Forget Wendy's Finger Chili, Forget Michael Jackson, Here's the Next Big Story Headed for Corporate Media Mass Distribution

If you were a television news producer, you might think that a constant fear would be having to resort to actual news, like the corrupting and corrupt presence of Tom "Giant Flying Cockroach" Delay, or the continuing slaughter in Iraq, or the Republican assault on Social Security, among others. But truly, you never need fear having to devote airtime to anything of substance, because in a country this size, you can always find a guy who mistakenly licked chocolate custard off a severed finger. Here's a taste, so to speak:

Clarence Stowers said he thought the object he found in his custard was candy so he put it in his mouth to get the ice cream off. He told a Wilmington TV station that he rinsed off the object and "just started screaming."

Now this story just surfaced today, so let's see how far in gets in the mainstream corporate media. It has the sort of elements that our crack journalists love: amputation, fast food, chocolate flavoring, and it happened in the South.

Of course, I'm as guilty for writing about this and avoiding the really pressing issues of the day, but as I must remind my one or two random readers (if that many) I am not now, nor have I ever been, a journalist.

So for those drawing fat paychecks and getting their hair and makeup done prior to primetime pontification, what the fuck is your excuse?

The Value of Some News Blackout

I just spent a few days in a most bourgeois indulgence down in a remote part of Arizona. How remote, you ask? Well, the town of Winkelman, Arizona, is the nearest post office. At Aravaipa Farms the indulgences are substantial and ought to be, given the cost, which makes my hair stand on end, but all work and no play, yadda yadda. Even a leftie deserves a little break--that's why I rarely eat out or indulge in $5 vanilla lattes (as much as I have an embarassing weakness for them). Thrift begets these brief but intense luxuries.

But the point of this was that it was a total news and communications blackout for three days: no telephone, no Internet, no radio, no television. A small group of us hiked up and back in Aravaipa Canyon, then spent the other hours staring into the Sonoran Desert landscape, drinking good booze and eating lovingly prepared gourmet meals. The net effect: total mellowosity (yes, I'm making a new coinage) this morning now that I'm back in my mountain redoubt.

We've been visited heavily by Evening Grosbeaks in the clusters that are typical of the species, but whose appearance is erratic in this part of the country, and watching them in the yard while I was drinking coffee this A.M. helped draw out the calmness that not even thirty minutes of NPR could upset. I turned the radio off finally, because it was like sand in the lube during great sex. The sun as pouring through the budding aspens, my neighbors were coming out to pick up their newspapers or put out their trash or walk their kids to the bus stop, and life was flowing as it always does, but for once I was just letting it take me, instead of standing in the stream shaking my fist and screaming outrage.

Of course, mellow is not my fundamental nature. In America, as an American, outrage should be as normal as breathing, given the assault on church-state separation, attacks on social security, illegal wars for private profit, chickenhawk warmongers, institutionalized torture, antigay campaigns, and so on and on. So much to rage about, so little time on earth, alas.

But you know what? Taking a few days to completely ignore this shit really does do a body and soul good. Now as I page through Buzzflash, I am able to do it with a sense of calm consideration, without acid gnawing my breakfast out of my gut, with a perspective that the struggle is endless, yes, but that it is right and worthwhile so long as we can retain a connection to the mundane, the everyday, the tiny transcendent moments that make it so good to be alive, like watching a seasonal bird crack a sunflower seed under newly-leafed trees on a mountainside on a clear May morning. Even the Bushits can't take that away.

Irony-Free or Hypocrisy-Unconscious Zone?

Thank God, or the deity of your choice, or just the cosmic balance of the universe for Jon Stewart and The Daily Show. Last night was masterful in two respects. The first was in coverage of El Presidente Bushie's energy speech, in which he mentioned our need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil, juxtaposed with a story in which Chimpie was shown walking hand-in-hand with Crown Prince Abdullah of Saudi Arabia. Strike one.

The next was Bush's declaration that our energy independence would be brought about through reliance on technology. At that moment, on CNN, the signal carrying the story flaked out, leaving a captioned black screen with no audio feed. The reporter at the CNN anchor desk, without missing a beat after the glitch, repeated Bush's statement in such a way that it was clear the anchor had essentially no understanding of the meaning of the text. Of course, in Britain they call them "news readers," which explains the intellectual vacuity and total lack of self-awareness that these powdered and blow-dried mannekins possess. Stewart, after showing this segment, shook his head and said, "What is this? Is CNN an irony-free zone?" And strike two for Bushie's energy plan.

Then there was Chimpie's proclamation that we should turn more to nuclear energy to supply our growing power needs, noting that no new plants had been built since the 1970s. Stewart's next bit had him asking why that might be, while a graphic of Three Mile Island was shown above him. He looked at it and then deadpanned, "Oh, yes. The accident." That's three strikes.

To be fair, nuclear power has come a long way with smaller plants--France is the technical leader there--and deserves at least a hearing, but you can bet that Bush's desire for "nukular" has more to do with ideology and monetary ties to the industry than to any real understanding of the issues involved. Shit, a man who can't even pronounce the word properly can hardly be expected to understand little things like meltdowns and disposal of spent nuclear fuel.

And then Stewart and crew turned to the issue of church and state, highlighting last Sunday's meeting of theofascist traitors (to be charitable) in Louisville, Kentucky, whose allegiance to invisible cloud beings trumps any notions of democracy, balance of power, or the separation of church and state in the U.S. Just go watch it here. My commentary will add nothing. This program is simply comic and news genius.

The tragedy, of course, is that it takes a half-hour show on Comedy Central to make up for all the failings of the corporate media in America. That's not so funny.

Lie Down with a Cockroach and You Get Filthy

El Presidente Bushie is wrapping his arms around Tom "Giant Flying Cockroach" DeLay and smothering him with kisses for being such a good go-to guy in pushing forward his theofascist agenda of one party, one god, and one pocket for all the money. According to the WaPo:

With DeLay facing intense scrutiny of his travel, fundraising practices and relationship with controversial lobbyists, Bush yesterday offered the Texas Republican a timely show of support by inviting him to a public event and aboard Air Force One for a trip back to Washington from Texas. Scott McClellan, speaking to reporters before the flight, said the president supports DeLay "as strongly as he ever has."

Bush is doing for the Cockroach precisely what he didn't do for Trent Lott, whose mistake was a verbal utterance, however offensive, rather than alleged graft, corruption, money laundering, threatening federal judges, and trying to destroy the courts through defunding. Why is Georgie working so hard to embrace a creepy bug?

I don't think the answer lies too far from anyone's grasp. DeLay is to Texas politics what the giant flying cockroach is to the urban sewers of Phoenix, Arizona: comfortable, effective, knowledgeable, entirely ruthless and feared for that ruthlessness. While certainly no match pound for pound with the Bush family evil empire, what DeLay knows about the darker side of Bushit life and politics is a hell of a lot more potentially damaging than anything some blowdried, shitkicking Senator from Mississippi could ever reveal. Hence, DeLay is Bush's butt buddy while Lott was tossed out by his pants without so much as a handshake or a Lieberman kiss on the lips.

The WaPo continues:

If the DeLay controversy explodes into a bigger scandal, some said, it could taint the White House, especially with Bush going out of his way to align himself with DeLay.

Of course, the Post tries to obfuscate the larger possible explanation for Bush's behavior by saying this:

"He does not think DeLay has done anything wrong," said Charlie Black, a GOP lobbyist with close ties to the White House. "It's Bush's natural instinct to stand with him. There could be a risk, but it's the kind of risk [Bush] takes all the time."

Bush might also feel boxed in and left with little choice but to help DeLay, who has won the devotion of social conservatives, several Republicans said.

Bush hardly takes such risks all the time--he's a consummate coward, someone who never has to clean up after himself, who hides behind James Baker or others of his father's circle and who uses third parties to smear and degrade opponents so he can claim piety and ignorance in the face of any accusations. But he has to take this risk, because there is a greater risk in spades if he does not. DeLay is not a nice fellow, and he has loyalty only in direct proportion to its benefit to him personally. If he goes down, I think he will not hesitate to drag everyone he can down with him. And I think that what will follow will make the Monica Lewinsky circus of 1998 look like a warmup act for the greatest crash of a presidency in American history.

I can't wait!

Another Reason for Blogville

Good grief, this is so fucking hysterically funny I wet myself.

Why Blogging Matters

This article by Juan Cole is a must read, both for its explanation of why bloggers are vital to a free democracy as well as its indictment of the corporate media. Excerpt:

If we were mainstream media we would be wholly owned subsidiaries of General Electric, the Disney Corporation, Time Warner, Rupert Murdoch, Viacom and so on and so forth. Ninety percent of cable channels are owned by the same companies that own the big television networks . . . If we were the mainstream media, we would be accountable to CEOs and editors and advertisers, all of whom have motives for suppressing some pieces of news and highlighting others. You might think to yourself that this is a diverse enough group that the story would still get through. But with media consolidation, fewer and fewer persons make the decisions.

And I'm with Mr. Cole on another important distinction. Let's quit saying "mainstream media" and call it what it is: corporate media.

Totalitarianism doesn't necessarily have a political party as its controlling force. Sometimes it can be called "General Electric" or "Wal-Mart."

Mutually Assured Destruction

So Senator Bill "Cat Killer" Frist sent a videotape to the "Justice Sunday: Stop the Filibuster Against People of Faith" meeting in Lexington, Kentucky, yesterday. This provided a nice symmetry to his videotape diagnosis of Terri Schiavo some weeks ago. Frist may be attempting to become the first totally virtual political figure in his detachment in space and time from those things that he desperately needs for his future presidential run, but which he also understands are somewhat radioactive should the public zeitgeist turn against him. He did get burned on the Schiavo business. What competent physician would dare to diagnose the condition of any patient on the basis not of just a video, but video that was two or three years old? That didn't stop Frist, of course, because he recognized that to be sure the extreme religio-fascist wing of the Republican Party was firmly in his pocket, holding to medical ethics or just plain sense was unnecessary; in fact, he dumped his medical ethics faster than Newt Gingrich dumped his second wife to wed his intern.

But frankly, I'm puzzled that Frist and so many other Republicans are anxious to invoke this so-called "nuclear option" to deny the filibuster on judicial appointments. Methinks that they are feeling a little too cocky for their own good. Imagine that they jam this thing through. Then imagine that in the 2006 election a giant backlash against the looming theocratic juggernaut that Frist, DeLay, et al. are threatening causes the Repubs to lose their majority in the Senate and the House. Thanks to their castration of the ethics committee in the House and the nuclear option in the Senate, won't they find themselves even more disempowered than all their current whining would have us believe? Yes, even in the face of all this blustering by DeLay and the Christian right in a baldfaced grab for power, they cry about persecution at the hands of all of us meanie secularists who actually believe in the First Amendment. Hence the corruption of language in "Stop the Filibuster Against People of Faith." As usual, they conflate faith and religion, specifically right-wing ideological religion, so that people of faith who are not right-wing ideologues are by default on their side as fellow targets of people like me. The way the religious rightwingers whine, you'd think we were forcing them to have sodomy parties with SpongeBob and Tinky Winky, paint themselves with the blood of virgins, and bite the heads off of Christian babies.

Atheists are the people who deserve to be complaining about unfair treatment. Mike Whitney over at the Smirking Chimp makes the case for atheism to be included in the mainstream debate. Atheism isn't even afforded the courtesy of mention in any discussion of church and state in America. I think that's pretty damned bigoted.

But getting back to the cluster-fucky in Kentucky. So what if they want to jam a few cartoon-crazy judges onto the federal bench? I'm beginning to think that maybe it's time to do a little Rope-a-Dope and let them be as extreme as they want to be. Let's get a real demonstration of what a Taliban Christian nation will be like with the James Dobsons and Tony Perkinses calling the shots. I'd love to see the real teeth and talons of these fanatical totalitarian absolutists who claim the completely delusional notion of talking to and for God and for all people of faith. People this mentally ill should be treated, not allowed to run tax-exempt organizations and influence crafty and amoral politicians like Frist and DeLay.

If Dobson and Perkins want to talk to their invisible friends and rant and rave about the coming apocalypse, let them do it where it belongs--in subway tunnels and under bridges, not with duly elected representatives of a secular democracy.

Should a Man Who Fears Being Sodomized by SpongeBob SquarePants be Planning the Demise of the Courts?

James Dobson, whose sphincter tightens like an anaconda on a piglet whenever he sees a yellow sponge, has been sharing ideas with the likes of Senate Leader Bill Frist and House Majority Leader Tom "Giant Flying Cockroach" DeLay on how to destroy any courts that inhibit their quest to establish a religio-fascist, one-party, one-god state in what was the United States of America. According to audio recordings of meetings with their drooling acolytes in March, Dobson and ally Tony Perkins (head of the Family Research Council, aka Fascists for Reestablishing Tradition in Women as Property, Non-Believers as Slaves, and Gays as Objects to Burn) seek to pressure the Senate to establish the "nuclear option" to deny the filibuster on judicial appointments. That's not news, but this is: In addition to this anti-democratic move, they want to get the Congress to cut the funding of any court that displeases them. According to the Los Angeles Times story,

"There's more than one way to skin a cat, and there's more than one way to take a black robe off the bench," said Tony Perkins, president of the conservative Family Research Council, according to an audiotape of a March 17 session.

What's another way to skin that cat? Tom the Cockroach provided it just six days earlier:

"We set up the courts. We can unset the courts. We have the power of the purse," DeLay said at an April 13 question-and-answer session with reporters.

And Perkins admitted that he had made the suggestion to lawmakers the week before that:

Perkins said that he had attended a meeting with congressional leaders a week earlier where the strategy of stripping funding from certain courts was "prominently" discussed. "What they're thinking of is not only the fact of just making these courts go away and re-creating them the next day but also defunding them," Perkins said.

He said that instead of undertaking the long process of trying to impeach judges, Congress could use its appropriations authority to "just take away the bench, all of his staff, and he's just sitting out there with nothing to do."

Now for those of you who think I'm just an anti-Christian bigot, let me point out that beyond casting aspersions on SpongeBob's bedroom activities and promulgating fear about his influence in getting young boys to bare their buttocks to one another, the warmth and fuzziness of Dobson and Perkins goes much farther. According to the LA Times story,

Perkins and Dobson laid out a history of court rulings they found offensive, singling out the recent finding by the Supreme Court that executing minors was unconstitutional.

Yes, Mr. Dobson and Mr. Perkins have been extremely upset that the United States has ceded to Somalia the honor of being the only country on earth that as national policy will put children to death. They should take comfort in our foreign policies, however, which in the past twelve years are partially responsible for the death of a half million Iraqi children, to which you can a some more thousands of innocent lives due to "collateral damage" in this failed oil grab in the Arab world.

But just to show I am as fair-minded as the next guy, I did find one thing that Dobson said that I agree with. His take on the whole SpongeBob affair was that he took a beating in the media because of a misunderstanding. He didn't say SpongeBob himself was gay, only that he promoted a gay agenda. As to the future,

"This will not be the last thing that you read about that makes me look ridiculous," he said.

Fuckin' A, Reverend. You got that right. I know I can count on you to keep the supply of the ridiculous coming in truckloads.

The Money Laundry

We know that Tom “Giant Flying Cockroach” DeLay is a seriously crooked human being in all aspects of his life, so the following bit from the New York Times is no surprse:

Like other charities, the DeLay Foundation, which operates from a post office box near Mr. DeLay's house in Sugar Land, Tex., is not required under federal laws to release a donors' list. Nor does it have to account in detail for how it spends millions of dollars in donations on behalf of abused and neglected children.

But forget that this is DeLay’s charity. Does anything strike you as, well, fundamentally corrupt about this business?

This is the definition of a money-laundering scheme. If a “charity” need not disclose its revenue sources, nor how it specifically disperses those funds, wouldn’t you think that it would be mighty simple to concoct all sorts of ways to shovel dough into your own pockets and those of cronies and bootlickers alike through phony events meant to raise money or awareness of the charity or its “cause.”

This stinks to high heaven, and yet it is another of these perfectly legal systems put in place by people in power who still aren’t satisfied with all the other means through which they fleece working people.

Does that mean that all of these charities are bogus fronts from graft? Not at all. But if that’s the case, why such loose rules? I would hope that any legitimate charity would have no problem opening its books so that donors as well as the IRS could rest assured that the money was being used in the best possible manner for the targeted group.

Of course, a key to why this is permitted under our federal laws may be the fact that the Cockroach is hardly the only legislator who has taken advantage of this mechanism. Read the article for yourself, and by the way, note how the “paper of record” manages to go as light on any investigative details as it can. When the Cockroach finally gets the bootheel crunch, and all the pus of his existence oozes out onto the linoleum, it’s going to be quite interesting to see how many other insect-like lawmakers start scrambling for cover and shedding their charitable skins.

A Nanosecond of Agreement with Karl Rove?

Karl Rove went to speak at a liberal arts college in a blue state, and when I read about his talk, I was flabbergasted that there was actually a smidgen of overlap between something he said and something that I believe. It's blowing my mind. Here's what he said:

Reporters now see their role less as discovering facts and fair-mindedly reporting the truth and more as being put on the earth to afflict the comfortable, to be a constant thorn of those in power, whether they are Republican or Democrat

If only it were true. Alas, where Rove despairs that the press has become oppositional, I can only hope that someday it will be so.

Certainly the press should try to be as objective as possible, but that's how they should report what they find. However, in the seeking of news and information they should be relentless in challenging power.

Quoting the journalist Joe Klein, Rove said reporters should understand "how easy it is to make mistakes" in government. But the president has been famously unwilling to acknowledge mistakes.

Bingo! That's why the press should operate without sympathy for those who seek power. Those "mistakes" are matters of life and death, comfort and suffering, and to give a pass on those decisions to people who scrounge and scramble and whore their way into the privilege of public office is a complete betrayal of what the press's role in a free republic should be.

Here we have a presidential administration that is without peer in secrecy, obfuscation, and intimidation in my lifetime. If the press doesn't uncover what politicians don't want us to know, how can we even begin to act as informed citizens? We don't need reporters who are collaborative with power; shit, the government press offices produce plenty of propaganda, and that applies to either party when it holds power.

Here's what I think should be the first lesson in journalism school for any reporter who wants to cover the public sector, as stated by the late, great I.F. Stone: "Governments lie." Democrat or Republican, it makes no difference. That's the starting point.

Another Reason to Consider Belief in the Antichrist

The ejaculatory white emission from the chimney over the Sistine Chapel has signaled that we now have a new Pope. Not much tension there before the climax, which indicates that Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger plays pretty good inside baseball in the Vatican.

I'm not sure why I personally should care that the new pope is Ratzinger, now self-named Pope Benedict XVI. I'm not a Catholic, nor a Christian for that matter, and the Vatican has always seemed to me to be more of a tourist curiosity than anything else. Granted, Pope John Paul II had a lot of clout, but not because he wielded actual power through economic or military means; rather, his power came from those millions around the world who willingly ceded it to him, acknowledging his "holiness" and using it to validate things like screwing without a condom because, in Monty Pythonese, "Every sperm is sacred." So if tens of millions of Africans become infected with HIV/AIDS as a result, well, gee isn't it interesting that the ascendancy of African Catholics in the last decades has been so rapid? Could there be some link between one thing and the other? A defensive maneuver by the white Vatican? Yeah, I know--I sound like a conspiracy nut.

I doubt that Pope Benedict XVI will soften any of the hard stances established by John Paul II; in fact, based on what I've read, if anything he will tighten the screws on Catholics worldwide, possibly bringing about a modern schism, which I think would be healthy. My American Catholic friends, who practice birth control, have sex for fun, are gay, don't go to confession, and so on, have always baffled me, because for me a church is like a club, and if you don't like the rules, then you start a new club, like Martin Luther did. Well, now it's going to be a challenge to this relaxed form of Catholicism as practiced in this country (Rick Man-on-Dog Santorum excluded, of course) when Ratzinger reaffirms his take-no-prisoners stance on homosexuality, premarital sex, birth control, abortion, and all the rest of the doctrine.

"We are moving toward a dictatorship of relativism which does not recognize anything as definitive and has as its highest value one's own ego and one's own desires," [Ratzinger] declared at a pre-conclave Mass in St. Peter's Basilica.

"A dictatorship of relativism" is a nifty coinage. Funny how that would be more frightening than a dictatorship derived from an imagined god. Unless, of course, you have asserted the sole power to know the mind of that invisible great white father.

Boltin' Bolton in the UN

Why not confirm John Bolton for US Ambassador to the United Nations? Let's not hide the fact that as a nation we have become batshit crazy, screaming bullies who run roughshod over anything that gets in our way, chasing women down the halls in Russian hotels and throwing things like a crazed baboon. It would also present an honest face to the world that as a nation we have become liars, or at best obfuscators of fact.

The reason I've changed my mind about Bolton is because Republicans like Chuck Hagel and Richard Lugar are having some doubts, and that's a signal that Bolton is becoming a bit of an embarrassment, which is all the more reason to put him out there as a front man for the nation. Wouldn't it be great to learn that he had hurled his own feces at Kofi Annan in the men's restroom one afternoon after a heated floor debate on Iran's nuclear capability? Wouldn't it fit our national character if Bolton threatened Mohammed ElBaradei with a bullet through his kneecap if he didn't resign as director general of the International Atomic Energy Commission? Or if Bolton started a smear campaign about Niger's ambassabor's wardrobe and sexual proclivities? That's clearly his style, and isn't it precisely representative of this administration's approach to diplomacy?

I also think that the UN membership might enjoy a new sport: Bolton Baiting. They could award points based on who could goad the most outrageous display from the brush-lipped bully.

Let's put the pedal to the metal, America. Put Bolton in the UN. Let's get the shit flying fast and hard. This is what Bush wants, so give it to him. Enough rope, you know.

In Your Pants and in Your Bedroom

Nice expose' of the rightwings views on privacy. First we have this gem from Tom "Giant Flying Cockroach" Delay, who is still circling the shit-encrusted sewer inlet and none too quietly:

The reason the judiciary has been able to impose a separation of church and state that's nowhere in the Constitution is that Congress didn't stop them. The reason we had judicial review is because Congress didn't stop them. The reason we had a right to privacy is because Congress didn't stop them.

Got that? DeLay would like us to have no right to privacy. Okay, Tommy, open your bank accounts, your financial records, release all your home sex videos, and we'd like an interview about your particular sex practices, especially after this exchange yesterday between NYU students and Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia courtesy of BlueMeme and the New York Post:

WHEN U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia (above) spoke Tuesday night at NYU's Vanderbilt Hall, "The room was packed with some 300 students and there were many protesters outside because of Scalia's vitriolic dissent last year in the case that overturned the Texas law against gay sex," our source reports. "One gay student asked whether government had any business enacting and enforcing laws against consensual sodomy. Following Scalia's answer, the student asked a follow-up: 'Do you sodomize your wife?' The audience was shocked, especially since Mrs. Scalia [Maureen] was in attendance. The justice replied that the question was unworthy of an answer."

Now this confuses me, unless Scalia was invoking his Fifth Amendment privilege against self-incrimination. Has he been buggering the wife? Gotten some oral? Given it? Had livestock in the mix? By both his and DeLay's lights, that behavior between consenting adults is open to legal scrutiny, so come on boys, don't be hypocrites about it. Now if livestock was indeed involved in either DeLay's or Scalia's sexual escapades, without signed consent forms I'm afraid these fellows are headed for the slammer under animal cruelty laws at least.

And perhaps they need a little jail time just for making the rest of us even consider them in sexual congress at all. Sheesh! I tried watching Silence of the Lambs to erase that horror from my mind, but even Hannibal Lecter isn't that scary.

Chilling Fiction

A friend alerted me to this column by attorney and professor Patricia Williams in the Nation concerning a high school junior whose fictional story got him classified as a terrorist.

William Poole, a high school junior from Kentucky, was taken into custody and charged with threatening to commit second-degree-felony terrorism for writing a story about a horde of zombies who wreak havoc in a school. It seems the boy's grandparents had been reading his journal, found a story he'd been writing for English class and promptly turned him in. According to a police detective, "Anytime you make any threat or possess matter involving a school or function, it's a felony in the state of Kentucky."

I read fiction, write it, and teach fiction writing at a small university, and this piece chilled me to the bone. How oppressive is a society which punishes acts of the imagination? It's a terrifying notion.

One of the things that I truly believe about art is its unique value for exploration and understanding. If you can write about something, you likely will not have to actually do it. And in a work of fiction, because it is fiction, and because of what I may have naively assumed about the First Amendment, a writer is permitted to explore anything. Now a teenage boy writing about zombies attacking a school doesn't strike me as particularly odd in the least; in fact, it's hardly a great leap of the imagination, and I discourage such genre writing, preferring that students start with learning to record their own sensory experiences. Still, zombies are fascinating creatures, partially because of their use as metaphor for desensitized citizens in a wholly mediated world, and also because they're, well, scary.

But what is far scarier still is that a teenager could be locked up as a terrorist for simply writing about this. I don't know whether this action by law enforcement is because they are left so little latitude by the statute or because they are so terrified by the prospect of oversight by the Justice Department resulting in some career-ending move, but it's hard not to laugh at the circumstances of this case. Except that it's not funny.

The implications of this episode point toward totalitarian excess, and I'm pretty confident the arrest will be thrown out for the numb-minded exercise in overzealous interpretation that it is. How is a story a threat? Can you imagine this standard applied to all the murder mysteries, disaster movies, and television crime dramas?

Let's hope that the grandparents, the police, and the prosecutors get a grip and let the boy go home. Putting a chill on literary expression can't be a goal of the No Child Left Behind Act, can it?

I Made a Mistake!

I will now do something that George W. Bush, Tom DeLay, Bill O'Reilly, and countless other rightwing nutwads are constitutionally unable to do: admit a mistake.

Several helpful commenters pointed out that I failed to make clear that my earlier post "Dishonest and Incompetent Is Too Much" contained NOT an actual Financial Times editorial but rather a letter from Dr. Ian Rutledge to the FT.

My mistake. I apologize. I do, however, think that Dr. Rutledge's credentials are solid, his arguments powerful, and his writing worthy of note, and I sincerely hope that my error in no way negatively reflects on his fine piece.

So there. After all, I am not now, nor have I ever been, a journalist.

Tortureboy Keeps America Safe from Bronze Breasts

From the Washington Post today (you'll have to scroll down):

No one asked Attorney General Alberto R. Gonzales at his recent confirmation hearings about his intentions with regard to "Lady Justice," the 12-foot semi-nude statue at the Justice Department that former attorney general John D. Ashcroft had covered with a large blue drape.

But Loop fans predicted overwhelmingly that Gonzales would keep "Minnie Lou," as she's called, behind the big blue burka. Appears they were right. A senior department official told us recently she'll stay covered. "I've not even heard any discussion about" dropping the drape, he said.

Thank heavens that the Depression-era semi-nude bronze body won't be able to corrupt America.

Now, if Tortureboy could just intern SpongeBob Squarepants at Guantanamo, we'd be secure.

Tom DeLay: We Want YOU to Be the Enduring Symbol of the Republican Party

Tom "Giant Flying Cockroach" DeLay has got it all wrong. He thinks the Democrats want to take him down. Well, maybe they do, I don't know. I'm a registered independent and no longer privy to the inner councils of either party (that's a joke). It's reported by the Associated Press that the Republican spin on the Cockroach's troubles is the following:

One Republican said the Texan referred to a "mammoth operation" funded by Democratic supporters and designed to destroy him as a symbol of the Republican majority.

I can't speak for the Democrats, to be sure, but let me make my position absolutely clear: I want Tom DeLay to be the eternal and ubiquitous face of the Republican Party forevermore, no matter what he has done and no matter what happens. I think they should just replace the elephant with DeLay's cheery mug. I like this one. And then there's this one.

True Republicans will get this one tattooed in a special place. That way there will be no mistaking the hard-corps, right-wing, rapture-ready theocratic Republicans from the weak sisters who aren't ready to don their black shirts and smash the Constitution.

A Pox on Our Houses, Both Republican and Democrat

This is why we need to maintain such a huge military budget, because we wreak havoc on those who are blameless, and then rationalize it from the fat safety of America. Whether Powell, Rice, or Albright, if you're an Iraqi child, it's all the same. From the Guardian in Tony Blair's UK:

It now appears that, far from improving the quality of life for Iraqi youngsters, the US-led military assault on Iraq has inexplicably doubled the number of children under five suffering from malnutrition. Under Saddam, about 4% of children under five were going hungry, whereas by the end of last year almost 8% were suffering.

These results are even more disheartening for those of us in the Department of Making Things Better for Children in the Middle East By Military Force, since the previous attempts by Britain and America to improve the lot of Iraqi children also proved disappointing. For example, the policy of applying the most draconian sanctions in living memory totally failed to improve conditions. After they were imposed in 1990, the number of children under five who died increased by a factor of six. By 1995 something like half a million Iraqi children were dead as a result of our efforts to help them.

A year later, Madeleine Albright, then the US ambassador to the United Nations, tried to put a brave face on it. When a TV interviewer remarked that more children had died in Iraq through sanctions than were killed in Hiroshima, Mrs Albright famously replied: "We think the price is worth it."

But clearly George Bush didn't. So he hit on the idea of bombing them instead. And not just bombing, but capturing and torturing their fathers, humiliating their mothers, shooting at them from road blocks - but none of it seems to do any good. Iraqi children simply refuse to be better nourished, healthier and less inclined to die. It is truly baffling.

And if you're of the ilk who thinks, "Ah, hell, they're just some damn foreigners, anyway," sink your bigoted teeth into this:

In the UK there may now be 3.6 million children living below the poverty line, and 12.9 million in the US, with no prospect of either government finding any cash to change that.

Fucking family values, my ass. It's a great system we've got working here, ain't it?

Reason to Believe in the Coming of the Antichrist

Even the atheists are rethinking the Bible on this news: Eye on '08, Newt hits Iowa, N.H.:

News of Gingrich’s foray into the presidential battleground and the array of politically significant activities have prompted enthusiastic responses from House Republicans. All GOP lawmakers who spoke with The Hill said he would be a top-tier candidate who could seriously challenge the early front-runners, Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) and former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani.

Gee, a guy who divorces his wife while she recovers from cancer in the hospital so he can marry his adulteress, and then cheats on her with an intern, who becomes his third wife...I love family values! From the National Review archives:

Americans subsequently learned that while Gingrich was defending his House majority and presiding over President Clinton's impeachment, he also was enjoying his own lengthy affair with Callista Bisek, a then-32-year-old House Agriculture Committee staffer. This relationship was not just immoral, but staggeringly reckless politically.

I also love the complete lack of irony that characterizes the rightwing party flunkies:

Rep. Tom Feeney (R-Fla.), who served two years as Speaker of the Florida House of Representatives, said Gingrich’s skill set may be better suited for the White House than it was for the Speaker’s office.

Indeed. Since the White House seems to be the place for a draft-dodging, semiliterate, lying wannabe Stalin nincompoop, I can see that Gingrich would seem to be perfect. After all, he's fully literate, while having all the other attributes. Bring it on, Newtie-boy!

Dishonest and Incompetent Is Too Much

The Bushits pushed us into a war on lies, and then, purely from hubris and astounding incompetence, managed to turn us into hostages to the insurgents in Iraq. Gas prices are soaring (which, if it finally moves us to more fuel conservation will be a good thing after the initial shock), supplies are getting iffy, and Americans are still dying for the cause of Big Oil. Yes, I'm partial to a particular viewpoint, but this time the rather conservative Financial Times is making the case:

But in the words of another US oil company executive, "it all turned out a lot more complicated than anyone had expected". Instead of the anticipated post-invasion rapid expansion of Iraqi production (an expectation of an additional 2m b/d entering the world market by now), the continuing violence of the insurgency has prevented Iraqi exports from even recovering to pre-invasion levels.

In short, the US appears to have fought a war for oil in the Middle East, and lost it. The consequences of that defeat are now plain for all to see.

And you are seeing them now, like it or not. Coffins and amputees coming back, gasoline at $2.50 a gallon, and no end in sight. Of course, does your mainstream media link this all together for you, or even acknowledge the war in Iraq? Not bloody likely, what with such essential news as Charles and Camilla's wedding, Michael Jackson, and the most ghoulish deathwatch over the Pope since, well, Terri Schiavo the week before.

What disturbs me even more is when I look at my students, almost none of whom have any awareness of how vulnerable they are becoming to an imminent draft, which will place many of them under the direct control of the most corrupt and incompetent administration in my lifetime, and that's over five decades. We are facing disaster and turning our heads away, hoping it will just go away. It's time for action, folks, to get rid of these crooks and liars and warmongers and fascists and hatemongers and their compliant enablers as well. It will take a kind of revolution to clean these shit-filled houses of shame. I just hope that there is something worth salvaging before it's too late. I do love my country, but the people running it have turned it into a whorehouse for the corporate and the wealthy. The people hold the power, but just as there is little difference between someone who doesn't read and someone who can't read, those who don't exercise the political power they do have are, in fact, as powerless as the most downtrodden in any dictatorship.

The Next Distraction

The shit is coming down hard on the heads of Republicans: DeLay's demise, the fallout from the Schiavo circus, the stagnating economy, the runup in gas prices, and much more. Unable to expect the mainstream media to continue too many more deathwatches now that the Pope has been put in his vault, the administration is going to have to whip up a new hysteria. Ready?

The threat of Iran.

My prediction: in the next six weeks we will be subjected to a steady drumbeat building up incrementally about the great threat Iran possesses in its nuclear capability, its strategic power in choking off oil transport from the Persian Gulf, and its links to terrorist organizations. None of these allegations, of course, will be any better than those used against Iraq, and so the warnings will have to be made even more shrill than before. Instead of "mushroom cloud" from the likes of Condi Rice and Bush, expect the rhetoric to focus on "a million dead and a city unihabitable" because of some imagined attack by Iranian-supported terrorists.

Remember, according to Seymour Hersh and Scott Ritter, the Bushits have their sights set on Iran in June, and there is no time to waste if they want to create the necessary network of lies to cover themselves. Fool me one, shame on me. Fool me twice...

Bush couldn't remember how that went, but let's hope that the Americans who bought the last bullshit round on Iraq will not be fooled again.

Close to the Final Chapter for the Bugman

I remember when Richard Nixon resigned, and the National Lampoon's cover the following month said, "Oh no!" After the rich vein of satirical gold that Tricky Dick had provided, their panic was palpable. I think I'm going to have the same reaction soon. Now that Tom "Giant Flying Cockroach" DeLay is being deserted by the administration, denounced by fellow Republican Chris Shays, turned on by his former good pal Jack Abramoff, and even denied three times by Rick Man-on-Dog Santorum, I'm betting that by summer DeLay will just be a dessicated stain on the kitchen linoleum of America...until he's rehabilitated, of course. Even if you're a convicted felon, the Republicans always manage to find a place for their vilest creatures.

Apparently, Karl Rove is finished with DeLay and ready to flush him with extreme prejudice, perhaps even leaving a revolver on the Bugman's coffee table after a late night visit. "I'll leave it to you, Tom. You have two ways out of this. Make the right choice."

So there the Cockroach sits, thinking about all that he has accomplished, and how close he has come to becoming the Heinrich Himmler of America, only to be slapped down by these weak sisters surrounding Bush. By his lights, the theofascist coup he hoped to inspire was ripe for the plucking--all that was needed was the will. How he has been betrayed! The true believers remain, of course, but...well, even the Cockroach has to admit they're nuts.

He regards the pistol in front of him. He stands up, picks up the gun.

"Fuckin' Rove," he says out loud. "Goddamn drama queen."

He aims the pistol at a photo on the wall, a picture of the Cockroach in happier days, shaking hands with El Presidente.

"Backstabber," he mutters bitterly. He flips open the cylinder of the revolver. It's empty. Karl's last little joke before he turns on the gas for the Giant Flying Cockroach.

Nutwatching on C-SPAN

Last night, by mistake I must admit, I stumbled on the meeting of the religious extremists, led by Rick Scarborough, who descended on Washington D.C. to raise up the country against a judiciary "run amok," in the words of Tom "Giant Flying Cockroach with a Crucifixion Complex" DeLay. Tommy couldn't be there live, of course, because he was "summoned" to attend the Pope's funeral. Actually, I think he is preparing to go into exile a la Baby Doc Duvalier. However, the Cockroach did send a video to awe the "the few dozen attendees at the conference." Oh, Tommy, have they abandoned you? Yes, exile is looking better and better.

In case you think expressions like "nutwatching" are overstating the case, get a load of this:

"I am in favor of impeachment," Michael Schwartz, chief of staff to Senator Tom Coburn, Republican of Oklahoma, said in a panel discussion on abortion, suggesting "mass impeachment" might be needed.

Now Tom Coburn, in case you aren't familiar with one of the nuttiest of the nuts, is the senator who thinks doctors who perform abortions should get the death penalty, even though he admits he has performed them in his practice as a physician. He also thinks that silicone breast implants make women healthier. Sorry, folks, he isn't practicing medicine for now.

Yes, these are people who should be making life and death decisions for us. Furthermore, from the NY Times:

Dr. Rick Scarborough, chief organizer of the conference, called on Congress "to protect us from an overactive judiciary," saying: "Right now they are ruling as an oligarchy. They are the kings of the land."

And therein lies the crux of the matter for Scarborough, DeLay, Coburn, et al. It isn't that they don't believe in oligarchies, but that they don't like it when they don't get to be the kings of the land. Thankfully, despite people like Coburn and the Cockroach having constituencies that think like them, they remain in the extreme minority, and are rightfully going to be relegated to the dark, fetid shadows of American life where they should have remained.

Martyr Complexes

The wacko wing of the Christian right has watched Mel Gibson's The Passion one too many times. They are now descending on D.C. to fight those "activist" judges:

"This is a response to a growing infringement by activist judges on people of faith and their right to acknowledge God," said [Rick] Scarborough, founder of Vision America, an organization that promotes Christian values in U.S. politics.

There's a "growing infringement" on their "right to acknowledge God"? Have we shut any churches down yet? Hell, are they even taxed? These idiots are desperate to be heroes, but there is really nothing to be heroic about. The First Amendment stands, they can worship and pray and handle snakes and speak in tongues until the Apocalypse and nobody really gives a shit. And that's what makes them nuts.

In a related development, my sources tell me that Tom "Giant Flying Cockroach" DeLay has been fitted for a loincloth and a rainforest mahogany cross, complete with gold-titanium alloy spikes for his upcoming crucifixion. He refuses to grow his hair or beard to be more Christlike, however. "I want to look pretty for the teevee," he said.

America Wakes Up?

From Susan Page in USA Today about American perceptions of who calls the shots in the Bushit administration:

By more than 2-to-1, 39%-18%, Americans say the “religious right” has too much influence in the Bush administration. That's a change from when the question was asked in CBS News/New York Times polls taken from 2001 to 2003. Then, approximately equal numbers said conservative Christians had too much and too little influence.

When overworked, underattentive America begins to notice the extremist nutwad religious faction acting too brazenly in the public arena, then we know we're in trouble. And, gratefully, at what may be the brink of a religious fascist takeover, the people are going to wake up and slap the bastards down, back to their tentshow snake oil shows on the fringe of rube culture, right where they belong.

DeLay's Insurance Policy

Somewhere in America, or maybe outside of our borders, there is a young woman waiting on a specific ringtone on her cellphone. When she hears that tone, she will gather up a fairly heavy backpack stuffed with large envelopes ready for posting, each addressed to a major media outlet in the United States. Inside each envelope is damning evidence: of payoffs, bribes, filthy deeds done, smears conducted, perjury committed, and perhaps much, much worse, all of it done and documented about members of the House, the Senate, and people in the White House. Sure, and there are Democrats whose asses are up for grabs in those envelopes as well, and no doubt some compliant reporters too.

Why aren't the Republicans more vigorously denouncing DeLay? Why aren't the Democrats attacking? Why isn't the media jumping into this shitpile like they did with Clinton's little blowjob?

Tom "Giant Flying Cockroach" DeLay has his cellphone in his hand at all times, with that young woman's number at the top of the display. His thumb is lightly touching the "Send" button. He will not get flushed down the sewer alone, that much his colleagues know...and fear.

It's going to be a glorious shitfest, a virtual revolution, perhaps. Let the bloodbath begin!

Here's Hoping That Our Prayers Are Answered

From the Washington Post piece on DeLay's Russian trip, and reported in many other outlets:

DeLay on March 18 portrayed criticism of his trips and close ties to lobbyists as the product of a conspiracy to "destroy the conservative movement" by attacking its leaders, such as himself. "This is a huge, nationwide, concerted effort to destroy everything we believe in," DeLay told supporters at the Family Research Council, a conservative Christian group.

Fuckin' A, Tommy, you goddamned cockroach. You got that right. Everything. Fuckin' A.

Bush and Rove Discilpline the Tribe

For Tom "Giant Flying Cockroach" DeLay, the ticking of the clock is feeling like a bash on the head with a large silver hammer. Americablog is the best place to start. I've been writing about this for too long by now, so I'll just offer this warning--if it looks too easy, it may be a Rove setup to gull attention away from something worse. Even if they do actually sacrifice the Bugman, it will be to mask something else. Rove is smart, and even if nothing was planned, he knows to use the cover of DeLay's destruction as a way to move some other issue under the radar.

Freedom through vigilance!

Good News for Falwell, Dobson, Robertson--Ha ha! Just Kidding. Is This What Killed the Pope?

Oh, to be a teenager again! According to (I kid you not) Backpage (no mention of anal sex practices, however--what a waste of a good name):

US teenagers apparently prefer oral sex as a safer and morally more acceptable alternative to intercourse, a possible explanation for their rare use of condoms, according to a small poll by the University of California.

God, how I admire the ingenuity and tenacity of the American teenager to work around those abstinence-only vows. And according to the Chinese News Agency Xinhua's report (made all the more delightfully salacious by a picture of red lips with protruding tongue next to the story), author and pediatrician Bonnie Halpern-Felsher has written,

Given the suggestion that adolescents do not view oral sex as sex and see oral sex as a way of preserving their virginity while still gaining intimacy and sexual pleasure, they are likely to interpret sexual health messages as referring to vaginal sex

So Bill Clinton was right! Fellatio and cunnilingus are technically not sex. Good ol' Bill. Who's laughing now, Mr. Kenneth Starr?

Tuning Out

I just can't take it. Terri Schiavo all the time, followed abruptly by the mega-Pope-athon, as if Ms. Schiavo hadn't existed. The way popular media picks up and drops issues reveals an attention span of a preverbal infant. And, of course, nothing requiring any actual analysis or thoughtful debate will be shown, so we watch a dizzying merry-go-round of relatively meaningless stories cycled so as to distract us from war, taxes, and the price of melons, which all do in fact affect the average citizen. The Terri Schiavo deathfest, the Pope orgy, and Michael Jackson are essentially meaningless exercises...well, meaningless unless you are a whore news agency quaking in terror at actually informing the citizenry of the moral, ethical, and fiscal bankruptcy of the national leadership.

Between the corruption of the Republicans and the equally corrupt gutlessness of the Democrats, we should be ripe for revolution. But so benumbed have we become by the endless parade of non-stories, that it's actually possible to kill 100,000 Iraqis, conduct systematic torture operations, lose 1540 American lives, all done for reasons proven to be absolute lies, and have that relegated to the back pages. No, what is vital news is the fact that the dead Pope will be dressed in a white cassock, a scarlet chasuble, and red silk shoes and that, according to Sylvia Poggioli of National Public Radio, the Pope appears quite serene.

No shit, Sylvia. Um, he's dead. Such is the state of journalism in these United States.

The Boot Descends on DeLay

The light is flicked on, and the Giant Flying Cockroach, Tom DeLay, scurries for cover, first under the Terri Schiavo feeding tube, and then under the bench of the judiciary. Neither was protection enough, and he next scrattled (love that verb!) across the hard lineoleum to flatten himself under a congressional inquiry of the Schiavo case. No good. Well, at least back in Sugarland, his constituents still love him for his values.

Or so he thought. Today, Zogby polls show that more Sugarlanders would vote against his renomination or reelection (45%) than still support him (38%). He stands suddenly frozen in the middle of the kitchen floor, the last cover rolled out from over him and all he sees is baseboard and two heavily shod feet. One waffle-soled boot is lifted high above him, its shadow suddenly eclipsing the flourescent overhead light that makes his rancid pallor even more yellowish.

And the wearer of this boot? Why, it's Dick Cheney! And, of course, where Dick stomps, little Georgie will be close by, clapping his little hands together and jumping for glee at the sadistic pleasure of watching DeLay's arthopod shell crack and press into the brown goosh the oozes onto floor and into the lugs of the bootsole.

"This is better than blowin' up frogs with firecrackers or electrocutin' them innocent people!" Georgie screams while he hops foot to foot in his dance of death. "Go Unka Dick! Stomp him! Stomp him!"

So much for the vaunted loyalty of the Bush clan.

The Beginning of the End of the "Conservative Movement"

I put that in quotation marks because the "conservative movement" has been moving through the viscera of the body politic of America and is about to exit in a burning splatter into the toilet of history. As Tom "Giant Flying Cockroach" DeLay slithers down toward the sewer, he's grabbing anything and anyone he can claw toward him to slow his slide. Here's the latest, courtesy of Moonie-funded Washington Times:

Morton Blackwell, Republican National Committee member from Virginia and a member of ACU's board, said Republicans are being told support for Mr. DeLay is mandatory if they want future support from conservatives.
"Conservative leaders across the country are working now to make sure that any politician who hopes to have conservative support in the future had better be in the forefront as we attack those who attack Tom DeLay," he said.

The internal pressure inside the Republican Party must be building exponentially as members are confronted with this Faustian choice, but one hopes that either some crumb of decency, self-preservation, or recognition that DeLay is doomed will propel many members to realize that falling into line behind DeLay means slipping on his slime down the same shit-encrusted hole of infamy and possibly prison. Now that DeLay has taken to threatening federal judges, he's revealed to all but the most fanatical as batshit desperate. That makes him positively radioactive to his fellow politicians, because he has slipped into absolute survival mode. I think that his enablers are realizing how vulnerable they have become, since a guy like DeLay is going to have methodically catalogued every little thing he can use for leverage in his career, and I'll bet some of it is pretty damning for others.

The knives will come out pretty quickly, I think, as DeLay's ruthless tactics get turned back on him. Blackwell's conflation of DeLay with the party itself is a huge gamble that he will lose, because the past strongarming of members has created a lot of resentment--the "movement" is not held together by ideology, but by intimidation. When the ranks begin to break, it will be catastrophic for party unity.

At least I hope that's the case. Shall we pray?

The Giant Flying Cockroach Endears Himself to the Judiciary

From TV station KSDK, we learn the Tom "Giant Flying Cockroach" DeLay is trying to make things even better for himself when he is indicted for his crimes.

House Majority Leader Tom DeLay, R-Texas, appeared to condemn judges who at both the state and federal level declined to order that Schiavo be kept alive artificially.

"This loss happened because our legal system did not protect the people who need protection most, and that will change," the Texas Republican said. "The time will come for the men responsible for this to answer for their behavior, but not today. Today we grieve, we pray, and we hope to God this fate never befalls another."

Now say what you might about the religious fascism of DeLay, no one has ever made the error of calling him dumb. But shouldn't he be thinking of some other group of folks to badmouth now that Ms. Schiavo has gone on to her greater reward? Judges, of course, have to be fair and independent-minded, but they are human, and having a trash-talking, judiciary-hating giant flying cockroach in the courtroom might just have the slightest effect on a judge's psyche.

Just trying to help you out, Tom. Shut the fuck up.

Terri Schiavo Dies; Falwell: No Meaningful Improvement

One hopes that Ms. Schiavo can rest in peace now, and gather whatever grander reward awaits. The wingnutwads screaming and praying outside the hospice ought to be pleased that she has at last uncovered the mystery that they only guess at, but wish to wield over the rest of us as doctrine and law. That they exploited this sad episode reveals a bankruptcy of any true human decency, which at its core should accept the intimate understandings between partners who bond in love. It's nobody else's business--not the press, the Christians, the Congress, or tinhorn gutless governors and presidents.

Meanwhile, Jerry is now listed as "stable," while remaining ignorant, dishonest, greedy, and bigoted. The Richmond Times-Dispatch has a curious detail:

Other calls came in from fellow evangelist Pat Robertson and Focus on the Family founder James Dobson. The Rev. Billy Graham faxed a note of support. Even Larry Flynt, a publisher of adult magazines and videos and a one-time Falwell antagonist, called Falwell to wish him well.

Good for you, Larry! I'm looking forward to a cartoon in Hustler about this, of course. It's fascinating that Larry Flynt has more decorum and class than the Randall Terrys of the world, whose screeching self-righteousness commands mainstream media attention just because it's insane. That Randall Terry can get any airtime at all reveals the bankruptcy of television "journalism." During CNN and other reports on the scene, Terry could be seen frantically searching for the next camera, and inevitably he would be obliged. What a nauseating spectacle.

The Washington Post printed this interesting quote from David Randlett, senior associate pastor of Falwell's church:

But his philosophy -- to change with the culture -- has made the church successful, Randlett said.

"Most older ministers can't do that, but Jerry Falwell is unique," Randlett said. "He knows the Bible doesn't change, but the delivery has to, in order to speak the language of the public."

So while both Falwell and Flynt want to change the culture, at least Flynt has the decency not to twist his message for expediency's sake.

Reverend Jerry Improves

Big surprise. (See previous post.) Guess he wasn't willing to go all the way when it became apparent that the media circus's main ring would still have Terri Schiavo at the center. And while El Presidente Bushit is staying as far away from the busted ghoul festival of the Republican religious nuts, he did manage this:

Falwell, who was admitted late Monday, heard from President Bush, who wished him well, a spokesman for Lynchburg General Hospital said at a news briefing. Details of the phone call were not released.

Here's an imagined dialogue in the absence of the real thing.

Bush: Jerry, this is the president.
Falwell: Sir!
Bush: Are you going to be a good soldier for God?
Falwell: Sir?
Bush: We've got a little problem that I thought you were helping with.
Falwell: Sir?
Bush: Every god damn time I turn on the TV that Terri Sch...Scha...Schiv...that woman is all over the damned place, and that fucker Randall Terry is making us all look like nuts. You think that helps me?
Falwell: I don't have any control over him, Sir.
Bush: Don't give me that shit, you sumbitch. You get on the horn right now and tell him and all them other sumbitches to clam the fuck up.
Falwell: Uh...
Bush: You call those fanatics and get them with the program or I'll come down there and rip that fucking ventilator out of your throat myself. Either they stop or you go back to dying. Got it?
Falwell: I'm, uh, off the ventilator.
Bush: That's what you think, you fat dickwad. It's you or them, J-boy, you or them.

Coincidence, or Rightwing Nutwad Planning?

"Once is happenstance; twice is coincidence. The third time is enemy action."

So now Jerry Falwell's on a respirator, eh?

Terri Schiavo's sad case was a lucky moment for the right, according to Tom "Giant Flying Cockroach" DeLay. Then the Pope steps to death's door. But Dr. Jerry suddenly taking ill, going on life support...it has all the pathos and timing of a tentshow evangelist's shtick.

If Falwell manages a miraculous recovery, then to paraphrase General Buck Turgidson from Dr. Strangelove, I smell a big fat Christian rat.

Creationists Declare: Creationism is by and for Dumb and Uneducated Folks

Hey, I didn't say this; it came from "pastor and parent Ray Mummert, 54," in Dover, Pennsylvania:

"We've been attacked by the intelligent, educated segment of the culture," he said, adding that the school board's declaration is just a first step.

Now I understand how Rick Man-on-Dog Santorum got into office.

I think it was Paul Westerberg who wrote a theme song for Mr. Mummert and friends, something that contains the following:

Knowledge is power, got your books go read 'em
Wisdom is ignorance; stupidity I call freedom

Dumb is the new smart! Dropout is the new PhD! College sucks! Bring on the Christian madrassas!

As for the intelligent and educated--you'll burn in hell, you lousy unbelievers. Dare to take a bite of the apple, will you?

No Distinction Left Between Whores and Press, Apparently

That a misfortune such as the Schiavo case is what it has taken to expose the depravity, corruption, and cynical manipulation of the public by rightwing Republicans reveals a great deal about the terrible state of news reporting in this country. It is quite telling that a war predicated on completely false--provably and now admittedly false--premises could not command this depth of debate or coverage in the mainstream media. A blatant attempt to destroy the most successful social program in the history of the country, Social Security, cannot command this kind of attention. A national policy of torture and false imprisonment, knowingly fostered and supported at the highest reaches of government cannot command this much attention. But find a case in which pathos outweighs everything, and through which people feel no compunction to screech their prejudices and superstitions and can find willing media people ready to funnel the noise to the public, and by golly, the night becomes day in Pinellas Park, Florida, and the "journalists" outnumber the protestors and the coverage goes 24/7 waiting for one woman to die.

And I'm not optimistic that anything is going to change, either, even if the Repubs are splattered with gore they themselves squeezed out of this sad situation. The press doesn't forget who's in power, no matter how disgusting they are. Americablog reports that the National Press Club is holding a panel discussion on journalism and bloggers, and who is on that panel? None other than disgraced and discredited male prostitute and web porn purveyor Jeff Gannon/James Guckert. As John Aravosis points out, Gannon/Guckert was never a journalist, and is really not much of a blogger, yet he is hoisted before a national audience to speak as to the nature of the beast.

The silver lining is that this may be yet another nail in the coffin of mainstream media as they become even more delusional about the condition of news. And I have to remind myself again and again, that while the First Amendment guarantees the right to a free press, it does nothing to actually guarantee the existence of a free press.

An Open Letter to Jeb and George on How You Can Save This Whole Terri Schiavo Fiasco

Dear Bush Brothers,

I can appreciate Jeb sending in the Florida Department of Law Enforcement to forcibly take Terri Schiavo from her bed, but please read my previous post. In the television age, nothing substitutes for getting your own mug up front and center in that TV lens. Here's how Jeb can win back those 17 percent of hardcore flat-earthers that are now turning on him.

First, alert the press that you will be making a dramatic speech in front of the hospice where Ms. Schiavo resides. Then, in loin cloth and crown of thorns, make your entrance while carrying a massive wooden cross. When you get to the lectern and all the cameras are ready, say to God, "Take me, Lord. Save Terri, and take me!" Then turn to the police guarding the hospice and say, "I am going to reinsert the feeding tube. You will have to shoot me to stop me." Then make them shoot you. If you're lucky, it won't be fatal, and your political career as leader of the soon-to-be-formed Party of God will be assured.

And if you don't survive your wounds, well, you'll be a hell of a mascot. And, of course, your big brother Georgie will benefit enormously. Or, as I wrote yesterday, have Barb do it for you.

George and Jeb: Quaking Little Boys

What I don't get is why Jeb and Georgie haven't called their mommy in to rescue Terri Schiavo. Now that they realize how politically stupid this whole episode has been, and that a majority of Americans, even evangelicals, recognize it, they've disappeared. Jeb cancels a Good Friday appearance, and George . . . well, come on, from his failure to fulfill his service to his country even as an Air National Guard member to his facing only fully vetted and bootlicking crowds at public events, he's proven to be a coward on every level. When he showed up in Jeb's Florida with mommy Barb trying to keep aloft the lead balloon of Social Security privatization and destruction, it seemed that the timing and placement were perfect for her to save her boys.

But I'm getting off topic. Sorry. I think Pat Buchanan is right, you know. I think that Jeb and George should both don crotch-enhancing flight suits and descend from a Blackhawk helicopter into the hospice where Ms. Schiavo lay, shoot a few staff, and then winch her up to the chopper and fly her to the governor's mansion for reinsertion of the feeding tube. That would really, really cement that 17 percent of the electorate that thinks the world was created 6000 years ago and that Georgie is Jesus' own handpicked chief executive.

But if they're too chickenshit to do it themselves, that Barb is one tough cookie. I bet she could do it.

Posting Later; I'm Going Skiing

Fresh snow on the peaks, sun poking through the clouds, I can't sit in an office any longer. Rantings will commence after the lifts close.

If Republicans Want to Save Their True Party...

Not that any Republican will listen to me...but here goes. (I did shake Barry Goldwater's hand once, though. Even in his eighties, the guy had a powerful grip and even made a damned funny joke about 1964).

1. Tell the Falwell/Robertson/Dobson Christian fundie theocrat fascists to start their own party; hell, call it The Party of God, if they like. Have them take Frist, DeLay, Man-on-Dog Santorum, the Bushits, Allan Keyes, and Gary Bauer with them as their divinely appointed leadership.

2. Revisit your principles of limited government, environmental conservation, and civil rights.

3. Reenter the mainstream of politics.

If this doesn't happen, the Republican Party will be in splinters within two years.

One can only hope.

Frank Rich Sums Up Reasons to Be Independent

Some of my in-laws claim I overstate the spinelessness of the Democrats. In 2000, I re-registered as an independent after the Gore crowd shunned their principles to pander rightward and blow what should have been an easy win--cowardice and incompetence are bad things for a party. Still, the Democrats don't seem to have taken enough beatings from the bully right to learn that now is the time to strike full force, when the bully is arm weary and making big mistakes. Anyway, I don't always agree with Frank Rich, but he hits it on the head in the NY Times:

It is a full-scale jihad that our government signed onto last weekend, and what's most scary about it is how little was heard from the political opposition. The Harvard Law School constitutional scholar Laurence Tribe pointed out this week that even Joe McCarthy did not go so far as this Congress and president did in conspiring to "try to undo the processes of a state court." But faced with McCarthyism in God's name, most Democratic leaders went into hiding and stayed silent. Prayers are no more likely to revive their spines than poor Terri Schiavo's brain.

Good grief! Will you fuckers wake up! The Republicans are a disgrace to democracy because of their naked power grab. The Democrats are just as guilty so long as they are complicit in their cowardice to take the rightwingers to the mat and give them what they surely deserve.

Republican Chris Shays Shows the Spineless (I'm talking to Democratic Leaders Who Need a Backbone) How to Talk

I must bow before Rep. Shays for telling it like it is in a way that alleged Democrats like Joseph Lieberman and Hillary Clinton should be hollering from the rooftops. From yesterday's NY Times:

"This Republican Party of Lincoln has become a party of theocracy," Mr. Shays said. "There are going to be repercussions from this vote. There are a number of people who feel that the government is getting involved in their personal lives in a way that scares them."

Now Democratic Leadership Council limpdicks and Democratic National Committee, pay attention. Chris Shays is giving you the gift you have been given for five years from the rightwing nutcases who push theocrats Bush and Frist and DeLay, so don't fuck it up AGAIN. This is a secular nation, founded on the clear principle of separation of the religious from the civic, and these people who now dominate the Republican Party are extremists. Got that? Extremists. Say that over and over and over. Bush, Frist, and DeLay are religious Republican extremists. They taint the party, and are dragging it over the edge to destruction.

Don't agree? Well, look back at the formation of this particular coalition after Goldwater's trouncing in 1964 (imagine what he would be saying about these guys. Oh, if only resurrection was true!) The New Right was formed from a weird coalition of religious nutwads, led in Orange Country by one of the characters (Tim LaHaye) who authors the Left Behind series of Christian snuff literature, whose hatred of government (because it was so secular) linked them to libertarians who shared that hatred. Trouble was, true libertarians don't want religious intrusions into government or our private lives, and many libertarians are agnostic or atheists. However, given the dire political situation at the time for the Repugs, they set aside their differences to concentrate on their similarities, namely, hatred of New Deal style government.

I think that coalition is finally peeling apart, with the libertarian wing starting to realize that these religious types will burn them at the stake too, once they gain total power. That's my theory, at least. So it shouldn't be a surprise that Chris Shays would sound the alarm. What is a surprise is that no major Democratic leader has had the guts to do it first.

...and Throw Georgia and South Carolina in for Good Measure

In Jesustan, your belief trumps science, and your ignorance is rewarded.

"We've got to pick a film that's going to sell in our area. If it's not going to sell, we're not going to take it," said Lisa Buzzelli, director of an IMAX theater in Charleston that is not showing the movie. "Many people here believe in creationism, not evolution."

It will be kind of interesting to have Dark Age societies right on our (future) southern border, sort of like a living history museum.

Join the Campaign for an Independent Jesustan

Well, this whole Terri Schiavo business has really taken the lid off the fetid mess that constitutes fundamentalist-based politics in this country. With a president who really believes himself chosen by God, senators and representatives who are so intimidated by the religious right that they won't challenge their mythology in the name of the Constitution, and nutwads like Judge Roy Moore getting national TV time with Chris Matthews as though he has anything rational to share--all of this reveals a nation tipping back toward the Dark Ages if secularists don't start fighting back. Last night Moore once again said, "Evolution is a theory," completely exposing his stark ignorance about what the fuck a theory (as opposed to a hypothesis) is.

MOORE: Because there‘s no—there‘s no scientific evidence of evolution.

Evolution is a theory and has been recognized so by many. You have always heard of the missing link, haven‘t you?

MATTHEWS: Right.

MOORE: It is still missing.

He's right about the missing link still missing, because THERE IS NO MISSING LINK TO BEGIN WITH. The links are there, proven in scientific studies. Oy! What a putz! He did, fortunately, admit that he would find it acceptable for a heart surgeon to be trained on creationist views of biology, so when he has that first infarction it's going to be really interesting to see how he fares. Send that man a greasy pork sandwich with a side of chili fries and some deep-fried peach pies for dessert.

A great book on this by Sam Harris, The End of Faith: Religion, Terror, and the Future of Reason, is well worth reading. He pulls no punches.

Anyway, I'd like to start a movement for a free and independent Jesustan, carved out of Texas, with land grants given to all migrants. Then, in a year or two, when they've reinstituted the total law according to their version of the Bible, bringing back slavery, wife killing, baby sacrifice, and so on, the real United States will be justified in invading them (we can plant a few trailers with tanks and alumininum tubes in them to claim as WMDs) and installing a non-religious representative constitutional democracy. Of course, it may require a few years, or decades, of puppet regimes before they "get it."

Or we could just fence it off as a kind of national mental institution.

Now before anyone flips out, I certainly understand and share the desire for transcendence, and even Olaf here meditates and tries to have those moments of connection to the One. However, it's private. That's my objection to these shitheads who presume to rule us on the basis of their private hallucinations. Law in this country is made from long public discourse (or ought to be, I should say) and if the basis on one's argument is a book of questionable origins which cannot be part of the debate and subjected to all examination of any other text, then the argument from God, or the Bible, or the Koran, or Green Eggs and Ham cannot stand.

So there.

Bushit Lies Spew Forth Eternally, Like Mercury from Smokestacks

From John Aravosis' Americablog, a link and excerpt from a WaPo staff writer who catalogues yet another in the long and growing litany of lies that form the relationship between this government and the people.

Here's some mindfucking logic from "EPA scientist William Farland, who is the agency's deputy assistant administrator for science in research and development." Now remember, this guy is one of the administration's science policy wonks.

[Farland] said he had not seen the Harvard analysis and could not comment on its quality. He said the EPA had not quantified the cardiac costs of mercury because "the science is just not strong enough at this point." While mercury could well damage the heart, he said, that harm might be offset by the known cardiac benefits of eating fish.

Now this is very comforting, isn't it? Even as the mercury in your tuna sandwich is killing your nervous system, you needn't worry about any damage to your heart because it "might" be countered by the heart-healthy fish parts.

Is he fucking kidding me? Why not have a dioxin-loaded B-12 shot, or an anthrax-tofu salad? These are the people who are paid to protect the public's health. Incompetent, sinister, ignorant liars.

Any outrage out there? Or should we just shut up and eat our heart-healthy swordfish with the delicious mercury center?

So When She Says She's a Good Girl . . .

Here's what is either a slap in the face to right-wing sex haters, or, since they may be cleverer than we thought, a reason to actually support abstinence education. According to a study of 12,000 teenagers,

The conclusion -- even though they are not engaging in intercourse, many are having oral and even anal sex as a substitute.

And that's not all, cowboys and cowgirls:

Those who pledged to remain virgins were six times more likely to have had oral sex than those who did not take any type of pledge but retained their virginity. They were also careless in using condoms for their first sexual experiences.

So, if you date a virgin, particularly one who has taken a vow of abstinence, you are six times more likely to bet a blowjob.

No odds given on the possibility of ass-fucking, however. Stay tuned.

Should a Bugman Determine If You Should Live or Die?

Tom DeLay occupies an interesting niche in the evolutionary chain. A former bug controller in Texas, he also serves as a the giant flying cockroach of the Republican Party, able to ooze into the most disgusting cracks in the body politic to find nourishment and protection. And so it is that he is now claiming to know the condition and desires of a woman, Terri Schiavo, whom he's never met and whose medical insurance he would surely cut if it could further fatten the wallet of one of his corporate donors. But this is precisely the creepy, dark, smelly place a guy like DeLay would run to when the boot of justice is about to squash his rotten, pus-filled carapace for massive and continuing abuse of campaign finance laws, degrading the power of his office, and the meataxe redistricting of Texas, among other things.

DeLay's desire to regulate what is primarily a family matter, and then a state issue if disputes arrive within a family, as in this case, reveals how far into your life these insincere extremists want to reach if it serves their political purposes--in this case, cover for DeLay who is going down fast. Considering all the suffering that goes on in this country, and particularly the suffering that occurs because neither party has the balls to advocate for national health care (Dennis Kucinich excepted), it is the most cynical and baldfaced grandstanding imaginable for George Bush, Tom DeLay, and Bill Frist to suddently take an acute interest in a brain-damaged woman in Florida, whose life is not being ended willy-nilly, but because of her husband guardian's declaration of her own wishes, adjudicated in his favor after seven years of struggle in the Florida courts.

It's frightening, the extent to which these extremists want to control the inside of a woman's body, whose equipment you play with during sex, and ultimately to have the power to make you suffer as long as they can by denying death, which, by the way, they seem to have no problem dishing out on a wholesale basis so long as you are non-white or non-American.

I have great faith that this hubris on DeLay's part will make his crushing into tobacco-stained roach pulp all the more pleasurable to watch. I do hope it's slow, too, with no one available to pull the plug on his humiliation.

Bushit Culture: Lie, Lie, Lie

Bushit diehards, of course, will rationalize this business of lying to allies or just ignore it altogether. Of course, the Washington Post is too genteel to actually call lying lying; they prefer "misleading." However, what do you call what is described here?

The Bush administration's approach, intended to isolate North Korea, instead left allies increasingly doubtful as they began to learn that the briefings omitted essential details about the transaction, U.S. officials and foreign diplomats said in interviews.

Got that? "Omitted essential details." Do you know what happens to you if you testify under oath in a court of law and "omit essential details"? Of course, the Bushits won't acknowledge their "misleading," but they do recognize the need to do damage control, so top liar in the State Department, Dr. Condi Rice, is on the case.

In an effort to repair the damage, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice is traveling through East Asia this weekend trying to get the six-nation talks back on track.

Translation: In order to threaten, cajole, or orchestrate an elaborate cover-up, or, if required, blame it on the Clinton administration Rice will be pulling on her go-go boots and dancing on the conference table as fast as she can.

As to the WaPo report, if you don't already think they're a bunch of bootlickers for the Bushits, note the way they characterize what to you or me would be a pattern of lies:

The new details follow a string of controversies concerning the Bush administration's use of intelligence on weapons of mass destruction.

"String of controversies." Gee, is it controversial that were were no WMDs in Iraq? There's no controversy--it's a fucking fact. Is there a controversy about Iraqi connections to Al Qaeda? Again, outside of Dick Cheney's diseased consciousness, there is no controversy about the absence of such connections. Iraq connection to 9/11? Again, not controversial. Have we been greeted as liberators? Is Iraq now a stable nation? Was the "Mission Accomplished" when Bush made his premature ejaculatory leap from the cockpit of the Viking aircraft on the deck of the USS Lincoln almost two goddamned years ago? Is Iraqi oil revenue paying for reconstruction? Do private accounts fix solvency in Social Security? Do Republicans believe in states' rights and small government? Balanced budgets? Democracy in the Middle East? Is that a string of controversies, or a pattern of cold, calculated gulling of the 59 million suckers who voted for this mafia?

Liars! And the Washington Post aids and abets lies that result in death and destruction. What a sickening state of our nation.

Olaf Rotkohl and the Compatibility Test

This was one of those harmless and irresistable little compatibility tests, found at the Lengli blog that I stumbled on randomly using the next blog button on blogger. This is what it says about yours truly, Olaf Rotkohl:

You are a generally unfuckwitted, liberal, tight as fuck, relatively well adjusted human being!

See how compatible you are with me. Brought to you by Rum and Monkey