Friday, July 01, 2005

Imagine Justice This Sweet

Read the following piece from an article about desertion thus far into 2005 which appeared today in the Stars and Stripes, the overseas newspaper of the US military. Think about Crusader Bunnypants aka Chimpie the Warrior as you go.
Questions and answers about military desertion ...
Q: What is the difference between AWOL and desertion?

A: A servicemember who is not officially on leave, and fails to report to his or her training or duty station is Absent Without Leave (or UA, Unauthorized Absence, in the Navy and Marine Corps).

On the 31st day that a servicemember fails to report to his or her training or duty station, the member’s AWOL status changes to Dropped From Rolls (DFR), or desertion.

Q: Does the U.S. military go looking for deserters?

A: No, the services do not have the manpower to hunt down deserters, except in rare instances — such as members thought to possess top-secret information, or who are suspected to have committed a serious crime.

Q: How do deserters get caught?

A: The services send the names of all deserters to the National Crime Information Center, a nationwide database circulated to civilian law enforcement offices and other government agencies. Deserters can be identified by something as simple as a routine traffic stop.

Q: What happens when deserters get caught or surrender?

A: They are “returned to military control” or sent back to their parent service.
Now imagine that someone happens to do a search of the National Crime Information Center's database of deserters and the name George Walker Bush came up. And imagine that because the law is the law, Chimpie is "returned to military control." He wakes up in a bivouac in the Anbar region of Iraq a few days later. Busted back to E1, he is now under the command of an officer whose unit has been patching together armor for their Humvees from scrap salvaged from dumps. Three quarters of the men are wearing body armor sent from family and friends. They also have recently learned of some "irregularities" in Halliburton's accounting.

The platoon sergeant sticks his head in the door.

"Drop your cocks and grab your socks, boys. We're headin' out. Bush, you'll be on point."

How sweet it would be.

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