Rush Limbaugh Signature Condoms

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Oh Yeah? Well, I'm Back!

That's right, motherfuckers. Six months after my 600th post, and big, big changes in the life of Olaf, it's time to resume the endless rant. The political and social situation is as grave as ever and who's going to save this country if not me?

After getting through the swine flu, changing my hairstyle, and accidently shaving off my beard, I'm rested and ready to start swinging again, one little man against the capitalist bastards who remain in control. You thought the election of Obama had silenced me? Did you think that everything was hunky-dory? It didn't and it's not. We continue to live in a country that always ensures the exemption of the rich from the prices they must pay for their avarice and stupidity, as well as the bovine timidity of a population of TV-hypnotized zombies who wouldn't know a revolution unless it seized their remote control in the name of Marx and Engels.

You dig?

Lassie Takes Another Dump

Ever notice how porcine Rush Limbaugh is? I mean besides his considerably bloated and disgusting self. But I've never seen or heard a pig orally emit such defecation as the Hillbilly Heroin Homeboy has repeatedly done, and this week had to be a topper. From Limbaugh's own toilet of a website:

The Somali pirates, the merchant marine organizers who took a US merchant captain hostage for five days were inexperienced youths, the defense secretary, Roberts Gates, said yesterday, adding that the hijackers were between 17 and 19 years old. Now, just imagine the hue and cry had a Republican president ordered the shooting of black teenagers on the high seas...
...They were kids. The story is out, I don't know if it's true or not, but apparently the hijackers, these kids, the merchant marine organizers, Muslim kids, were upset, they wanted to just give the captain back and head home because they were running out of food, they were running out of fuel, they were surrounded by all these US Navy ships, big ships, and they just wanted out of there. That's the story, but then when one of them put a gun to the back of the captain, Mr. Phillips, then bam, bam, bam. There you have it, and three teenagers shot on the high seas at the order of President Obama.

Now remember, this is the jackass who repeatedly played "Barack the Magic Negro on his cesspit radio show, and has just about every credential an aspiring racist might want to acquire. And yet now the pirates are poor, black, teenage "merchant marine organizers." Truly, in the history of rhetorical dishonesty, this is a high-water mark.

But just for your own morbid curiosity, if you can arrange a thorough disinfection of your computer and everything that touches it, go over to Junkie Jerk's site and read it for yourself. Then find a shower like the one in Silkwood and get the shit scrubbed off with steel-bristle brushes.

Quite frankly, I'm not able to comment much on this idiot's ravings because it's like trying to find a corner on a sphere--yeah a sphere as engorged and polluted as the Hillbilly Heroin Homeboy.

Hillbilly Heroin Homeboy and Fearless Leader Combined

I've been looking at this picture for a bit (yes, it's hideous, but I must endure such torment for research purposes) and it reminded me of a celebrity from my childhood. Then it hit me.

Lassie taking a shit.

Beyond that, this drug addict, college dropout, anal-cyst-get-outa-Vietnam, lard bucket, fascistic, thrice-divorced egomaniac is the de facto leader of the Republican Party of Family Values, although he claims otherwise. In other words, this is the best of their best in terms of ideas, presentation, and recognition. Prominent Repubs who speak out of turn quickly bend over and beg his forgiveness and accept his cigar, the fastest being RNC chairman Michael Steele, who offered his sweet cheeks 51 minutes after offending the Limbaughistas. Louisiana governor Bobby Jindal joined the daisy chain soon after, remarking of Steele's total capitulation, "I'm glad he apologized." After Jindal's response to Obama's speech last Tuesday was called even by conservative columnist David Brooks "insane" and "a disaster for the Republican party," Jindal was probably grateful that the Hillbilly Heroin Homeboy went on the warpath for him. "The people on our side are making a real mistake if they go after Bobby Jindal," Limbaugh said on his radio show.

However, let me congratulate the fat fuck on kicking his addiction, even though he still has to show up for piss tests to ensure he's clean. But as is the sad case for most addicts, one addiction is traded for another. In his case, one might suspect he traded Oxycontin for Twinkies deep fried in hog lard smothered in bacon grease and served on a slab of fatback covered in hot fudge. But it's legal.

Oh yeah--this is my 600th post. Now I know why that novel never gets anywhere.

Gonzo's Own Reality Distortion Field

Remember this twerp? He presided over the attempted destruction of the Justice Department while Attorney General of the United States and the use of torture and the attack on habeas corpus, etc. Well now poor Gonzo can't find a job and he's going to be hauled up before a "truth commission." Here is his reaction to that.

“My view has always been to be as cooperative as possible,” said Gonzales, “and that’s what I’ve been with respect to everything. As far as I’m concerned I’ve got nothing to hide and I’ll cooperate. Every time I’ve been asked to cooperate, I’ve cooperated. In terms of what happens in the future, I’m not going to comment on that, but that is what I’ve done in the past.”

This is a guy who invoked the "I do not recall" defense 60 times during his hearing before the Senate. Yeah, Gonzo, you're a stand-up guy. I have a feeling that he's going to sell out the entire Bush administration now that he realizes he was totally used, being the dope that he is.

Meanwhile, as further proof that the Republican party, having failed to destroy the country, is intent on destroying itself, celebrates Gonzo.

Former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales appeared at a forum on Republicans and the Hispanic vote at the Capitol Hill Club this morning, getting a standing ovation from the crowd when he was pointed out by the moderator.

The Repubs are determined to erase themselves from history by celebrating criminality while increasingly appealing to only the most backward enclaves of the rural South.

Good luck to them. With the raging Hillbilly Heroin Homeboy, Rush Limbaugh, and the screeching Sean Hannity at the helm, I'd say they're not only crashing into the iceberg, but setting off dynamite charges in the bilge at the same time.

A Fleet of These Ten Times Bigger

Take this design, but make it ten times larger. Build a few hundred of them. Then, with unemployed citizens at the controls, converge on the Capitol, and make it clear that tax cuts are of no use to the unemployed, the homeless, and those bankrupted by health care costs. The "stimulus" bill, a bastard child of phony bipartisanship in which three Republican senators are able to compromise the will of the American people and make a full 35% of the stimulus a series of tax cuts, reflects the total corruption of our political system. The Democrats, too timid and dumb to assert their power--given to them by the people--have allowed the Republicans to dictate the terms of this package, which is too small and terribly misdirected.

This is a scandalous crime! The need is for jobs, jobs, jobs! God damn it, how many times do I have to scream at the Obama administration that you should not waste time or energy trying to compromise with people who are fanatical ideologues who would rather destroy a nation than face the reality of their own failures and the sheer idiocy of their belief that tax cuts solve everything.

A thousand giant spider robots. How cool is that? Robots are beautiful. Spider robots are magnificent.

Where Is Richard Widmark When We Really Need Him

Haven't we heard enough, and hasn't the world heard enough from this evil fuck? Jesus, his whole crazy world view has been totally repudiated (wrong on: WMD, greeted as liberators in Iraq, on the economy, on energy policy, gun safety, etc. etc.) but he still can't shut the fuck up. Why he isn't dragged by his heels to war crimes trials in the Hague is inexplicable. He destroyed our credibility in the world, and he is now completely distorting the Obama administration's policy with regard to terrorism and Al Qaeda.

What a waste of protoplasm.