Paulson Discovers Marx? Maybe, but America Is Still Getting Screwed

Before I rant, "Neu Entdecken" means "new discovery," which is why I had to use this recent photo from my Berlin trip to accompany commentary on Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson's capitulation to partial nationalization of the banks. It's one of those sweet, sweet ironies that also has a terribly painful price for its enjoyment--all of us losing our financial asses. Paulson, a Wall Street insider who loved the totally anti-regulation atmosphere and absense of any enforcement of the few regulations that remained, had to face the obvious-to-some-of-us fact that capitalism cannot function without some protection from the natural greed that too often destroys the very thing that fed it. Here's what Paulson said, and it's kind of delicious. I just wish it wasn't costing me so goddamned much money. Fuck!

Today we are taking decisive actions to protect the U.S. economy. We regret having to take these actions. Today's actions are not what we ever wanted to do — but today's actions are what we must do to restore confidence to our financial system... We are acting with unprecedented speed taking unprecedented measures that we never thought would be necessary. But they are necessary to get our economy back on an even keel, and secure the confidence and future of our markets, our economy and the economic well-being of all Americans.

Yeah, they never thought it would be necessary because they're greedy, incompetent, unimaginative assholes, and, let's face it, Americans are not really very well educated in financial matters...or much of anything beyond what Rush Limbaugh or Wolf Blitzer tell them, depending on which no-nothing they happen to like. Looking at the New York Times' photo of Paulson, Fed Chair Ben Bernanke, and Timothy F. Geithner (a Fed board member) is really fun, because they look like a trio of schoolboys about to see the principal. But they're just smart enough to keep this deal flush with loopholes that will allow the further raping of the U.S. taxpayer and looting of the nation.

Here's the deal. The European central banks really forced the U.S. to do this by rapidly deploying capital and control over the financial sector in Europe. But the U.S. version is faulty for the following reasons, as reported by the New York Times:

Whereas some European plans barred banks from paying dividends on common stock until the government got its money back and demanded promises that the banks would keep loans flowing to businesses and individuals, Washington allowed the banks that it invests in to continue paying dividends on existing common and preferred shares.

In addition, while European banks are being required in some cases to put government representatives on their boards, the American government will not receive board seats or have voting power.

Got that? Paulson, et alia, are funneling money to the same fuckers who caused this mess, but without the necessary guarantees and controls that they won't fuck it up again, and even worse. So don't expect this to be any sort of turnaround. Paulson is giving away our money without demanding sufficient proportional control and, even more importantly, openness.

If I could, I'd like to have all my dough in cash and in denominations large enough that I could smuggle them across borders. Hmmm...I remember that in Ian Fleming's James Bond book Dr. No that the title character had secreted his wealth around in rare stamps. Probably not a bad idea. Alas, current laws prevent anyone but drug kingpins and greedheads from getting their hands on much cash anymore.

I could always exploit my amazing musical skills to earn a few Euros on the S-Bahn, I suppose. You can still get a doner kebab for 2.5 Euros in Berlin. And beer's cheap. I could stay drunk.

Not much else left these days. I will say this, however. No matter how poor I become, I'll never sink to drinking Bud Lite or Coors or any of that other swill. Pilsner Urquell, Baby, all the way to the poorhouse!