Feel the Excitement? It's Almost Magic Time!

Oh, I don't know about you, but I'm about ready to pop knowing that Fearless Leader is about to address the nation on the State of the Union. I can't wait to hear the major leaps we've made toward detoxing from last year's declaration of our addiction to oil and our continuing escalation of success in Iraq. I'll be leaping to my feet as we learn about the great plans for universal health care and the rebirth of New Orleans as the major vacation spot in America. We'll learn of our other victories in the War on Drugs, the War on Poverty, War on Terror, and the War on Christmas. It's going to be such a glorious speech--I can just feel it. We'll once again know the true meaning of "compassionate conservatism" from the man who not only is "a uniter, not a divider," but also a "decider" who knows the meaning of "working hard for the American people" and who really knows when to surge, when to declare mission accomplished and when to admit his mistakes and correct his course, always with only our interests first and foremost in his thoughts and prayers.

And I think they're going to catch that Osama guy tonight, or so my sources tell me, because with Saddam dead we don't want to forget why we went into Iraq. Oh, wait...Osama's in Afghanistan or Pakistan, isn't he? Well, close enough.

The truly priceless thing will be to see Nancy Pelosi and Dick Cheney seated side by side in the spirit of true bipartisan love. And while Fearless (for other people's children) Leader runs through his litany of success, we'll get to watch the firm-handed opposition party jump to applaud his every declaration. It's exhilirating to be living in a democracy with such responsiveness to the will of the people.

I'll be popping popcorn and icing down the Pilsner Urquell. Come join me in our national celebration of truth, justice, and the American way!