First, please go and read Cenk Uygur's article on Smirking Chimp. I did, and so was inspired to visit our pals over at Rapture Ready to see where the old rapture index was pegged to, and damned if it isn't at a five-year high! At 163 it is now eighteen points above the "Fasten Your Seatbelts" trigger of 145, which while still nowhere near the all-time high of 182 might inspire that 25% who are predicting Jesus' return to earth this calender year.
Is anyone taking bets on this? Any gamblers out there? What are the odds in Vegas?
I'm sure most people have forgotten the Heaven's Gate cult, which committed collective suicide in preparation for an alien ship arriving in the shadow of the comet Hale-Bopp in 1997. Of course, they were nuts, right? The Rapture is different than their beliefs, right? It's based in undeniable truth recorded in a book with, yes, doubtful authorships and, okay, as interpreted by certain interpretations of said book by a smattering of Christian sects, but it would be heretical for me to equate such belief with that of a "UFO religion," right?
So what are the odds on Jesus' return this year? And does anyone know what the odds were on the Hale Bopp shadow ship coming down to scoop up Marshall Applewhite and friends? And if you think that Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, and James Dobson are real men of faith, keep in mind that Applewhite had his own nuts cut off as proof of his sincerity. Any rapture-predicters out there planning on similar dedications of earthly flesh?
Sorry about all the rhetorical questions. I'm just trying to help keep the debate open, that's all.
So who are those remaining deadenders who think Chimpie is doing a terrific job?
I think I have some idea.
6 comments:
I predict the Flying Spaghetti Monster will rise up from the boiling water of doom and throw marinara in the faces of non-believers. And not that delicious organic kind... the nasty, store-brand kind that comes in a tin can.
don't doubt them!
they predict the apocolypse every year, and they haven't been right once!
Some would say they're due...
Yeah, and some unknown zillionaire is going to pick me at random to lay a couple of megabucks on me this year for sure. Or maybe I'll be abducted by the people who live at the center of the earth.
Canned marinara! Oh, Flying Spaghetti Monster, have mercy on us!
I've got to throw in another example of Christian craziness. I'm sure by now you've heard Pat Robertson's claim that the Lord told him that there is going to be a massive terrorist attack--potentially killing millions--on the US later this year. Now, to be fair, he was right when he said that the Lord told him that Chimpie would appoint conservatives to the Supreme Court, although I don’t think any of us needed any kind of divine voices to help us accurately predict that. The scary part to me is that the news media (at least TV news that I saw this morning) seems to actually cover this prediction like it is actual news rather that the ravings of a lunatic. I don't get it.
On another note and as a totally random bit of information, I just have to say that Marshall Applewhite graduated from the same college I did. Granted, if the school was the size of ASU or University of Texas, this would not be nearly as interestingly coincidental; however, Austin College only has a yearly total enrollment of somewhere around 1200 students. So, my claim to fame is that the unquestionably most famous person to graduate from my college was a nut job cult leader. I’m not quite sure what that says about the value of my degree…
Now wait a minute! If Marshall Applewhite had sense enough to go to a good college instead of Liberty University or Bob Jones, maybe we should start wearing black Nikes and eating pudding when the next comet comes by.
He--and sh-baba-deaux--may have learned something that the rest of us should know, and that's something I'd never imagine about Pat Robertson or other related ignoramuses. The fact that Robertson was covered on NPR this morning blew my mind too. What power has he got over that crew that they don't relegate him to the screwball tabloid headlines at best?
never
Post a Comment