When theofascist James Dobson starts making nice with Democrats, it's time to start worrying about the coming of the Rapture, so I visited our pals over at Rapture Ready Index which is hovering at 159, a full 14 points above the highest threshold labeled "Fasten Your Seatbelts." Apparently, the recent election results caused the index to jump three points, so I'd expect Jesus to be coming over the horizon any day now to kick off the End Times.
You could almost say, as Chimpie stands down, Jesus will stand up. And that's because, you know, left-wingers are the spawn of Satan. We might as well confess as such, since we're going to be boiling in the hell cauldron for a while before being sent to eternal suffering in the underworld; that is, we "shall be tormented with fire and brimstone in the presence of the holy angels, and in the presence of the Lamb," those sadistic bastards.
Rejecting Bush has put us sinful Americans on the top of God's shit list, at least according to the Tim LeHayes of the world. But this raises a nagging question: Who is the Antichrist?
Name your favorite candidate on the global scene today. Perhaps it is someone as yet unknown to us generally, but to you personally? Maybe the Antichrist is your neighbor, your friend, your mother, brother, or your uncle Buddy.
Let me know.
3 comments:
Do you mean anti-"bush-as-appointed-by-almighty-god"? Or my own personal anti-christ?
In the former sense, I suppose Nancy Pelosi could be the anti-christ, but I guess we'll have to wait and see, won't we?
In the latter sense, I'm going to go with Ron Howard.
Opie is the antichrist?
Man, I never would have though Sheriff Taylor would sire the spawn of Satan.
On the other hand, what better town than Mayberry to raise him?
Yes, Mayberry has always seemed like a haven for evil.
In other news, my blog participation days may be numbered... I have developed the dreaded CT -- wrist disease!
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