The Torture Test

Despite the claims by El Chimperor that "We do not torture," people at the Pentagon, perhaps conscious of the war crimes implications of the work they've been doing at Gitmo and Abu Ghraib and elsewhere through proxies via "extraordinary rendition," have decided to make official that evidence derived through torture cannot be used in military tribunals.

There's just one little problem--it still hasn't been determined what torture is. And I, naturally, have a suggestion as to how to come to the definition of torture.

Let's take Rush Limbaugh, for example, who has said that what happened at Abu Ghraib was no more than fraternity pranks. We will install him in a five-star hotel, feed him all the mutton and tongue sandwiches he wants, and let ex-girlfriend Daryn Kagan, a CNN "reporter" in to service him as required. (Yes, I don't want to think of it either.) Pay him a million dollars too. And give him a little OxyContin now and then.

Here's the test: if, during an interrogation by the military, the question comes up, "Are we torturing this guy?" Limbaugh is taken into the basement area especially equipped for this exercise (scrubbable tile, floor drain, steam hose, and a surgeon's tray with various implements). Let's say that the interrogator at Gitmo wants to punch the detainee a little. Okay, so smash Limbaugh in his fat puss. "Hey, Rush, is this torture?" If he says no, then beat up the detainee.

Chain Limbaugh to the floor in a stress position for twenty-four hours, naked, in a room lowered to 45 degrees Fahrenheit until he shits himself. "Hey Rush, is this torture?" If he says no, then lock that sucker detainee in Gitmo down.

Hook Rush up to some electrical wires on his fingers, or his balls, or one in his mouth and one up the rectum. Turn on the juice. "Hey Rush, is this torture?" If he says no, then crank that generator up and fry those motherfuckers at Abu Ghraib. Pull out Rush's fingernails, let the attack dogs on his ass, rape him with a nightstick. "Hey Rush, is this torture?"

Of course, in that last case he might say, "Please don't stop!" You run that risk.

I think that this is a great system, because we have an individual who thinks that (a) torture IS justified in these cases and who (b) doesn't believe that real torture actually occurs. And we shouldn't limit it to Rush. There are plenty of candidates: Rumsfeld, Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter, Dick Cheney, Karl Rove, Alberto Gonzalez, and even Chimpie himself, just in case someone dies from the "fraternity pranks." Anything one of these torture-lovers can stand is a reasonable treatment for a detainee. Simple, effective, cheap (no lawyers needed), I think that both conservatives and liberals could get behind this idea.

Please tell your friends.

What More Is There to Say?

Chimpie holds a press conference. Chimpie lies. Dick "I haven't shot anyone in the face for three weeks" Cheney gives an interview. Cheney lies. The war drags on. Wealth shifts more and more to the wealthy. The environments declines. Chimpie lies. Cheney lies. The Constitution has more text crossed out. The aftermath of Hurricane Katrina remains unaddressed by those paid and entrusted to deal with it. American coffins continue to slide into Dover AFB, unphotographed and unreported. Chimpie lies. Cheney lies.

Still 33 percent of Americans polled still will themselves to believe and to celebrate this corrupt and incompetent regime. Twice that number now have stopped giving any more benefit of doubt or good intentions.

What more can be written? What more can be said? The "opposition" Democratic party wets itself in the corner wondering if it's okay now to disagree with El Presidente. They are no different than the Republicans, cowards and enablers all, deserving nothing but contempt and gobs of phlegmy spit in their faces.

Without a voice, people have only one course of action remaining. There is a mass of anger broiling in this country, none of it finding expression and alliance within our alleged free press. Frustration builds. Patience thins. Elections are suspect. Hope is drained from the people. Those in power now have only power to wield, absent the consent of the governed. The Declaration of Independence addresses this condition.

I fear it is going to be a very hot summer.

If Justice Exists...

...this will be in our future.

The Cowardice of Punditocracy

I had the displeasure to endure yet another interview with Frances Fukayama on NPR this morning because he, along with David Brooks of the New York Times, Byron York of the National Review, and other chickenshit chickenhawk lickspittles can no longer escape the disasters that they have been cheerleading for years. Their cowardice knows no bounds. Listening to them or reading them scrambling to fog their past declarations about the invincibility and intelligence of George W. Bush and his hand-picked criminal cabal, one can only think of collaborators of an occupying power suddenly stripping off their armbands, growing beards, and dressing down before escaping to friendlier zones. The true believers, of course, at least do the honorable thing and put a bullet into their own skulls, but these are the most cowardly of cowards, who align themselves with power, inflate and falsify their virtues, and could never proclaim loudly enough how tasty Chimpie's anus was.

Editor and Publisher reveals the brown stain beneath the brown shirt of David Brooks, the one he so quickly has shucked off now that his love object is sliding around the mouth of the historical sewer. Read it. It would be funny if the suffering he and his ilk have enabled wasn't so terrible and going to plague us for so many years even after Bush's stink is cleared out of the White House.

Space and Time, Somewhere...

Yes, I've been remiss in blogging lately, partly due to several unhealthy obsessions, one or two of which I'll confess, but also because I'm standing in front of the radio with mouth open in a silent scream as things go from bad to unimaginably bad with the country. Finally, I reached Chimp exhaustion, turned everything off, and focused on regaining a healthy sense of outrage.

In the meantime, I strongly encourage visiting Dependable Renegade, which always makes me laugh. Water Tiger is one witty, sharp-tongued woman, wrapping truth in a delicious sauce of irony and satire.

Here's some unsolicited advice. Never, ever start getting G.A.S. aka Guitar Acquisition Syndrome, and then have a guitar made by Bill Collings in Austin pass through your hands. Rather than blogging, I've been staring at guitar porn, and not just Collings, but also Bourgeois out of Maine, and a few Martins, and maybe a de Jonge or two. Still, I maintained control, didn't spend any money, but of course am now determined to land a first-class instrument one way or another.

Now if only I could actually play worth a damn. But that's not what GAS is all about.

The other obsession is that of vocational choices, which you'd think would be a good thing to have, but which actually is torment until suddenly all choices are gone. Now that I'm rendered back to a rather more predictable, but not absolute, notion of what I'll be doing for a few more months, I have turned those energies into fantasies of moving to Berlin again. Aside from the obvious reasons like impending martial law, national bankruptcy, and theofascist hegemony in the institutions of government, we face a more pressing crisis right in our own homespace. In our part of the country, moisture has been scarce for a record period of time and come summer it's going to be at flashpoint. So, while Chimpie is burning the Constitution, torching the economy, and hot-footing US allies with his petulant ignorance and incompetence, the forces of nature or God are going to punish this corner of the land by turning it all into ash if some idiot so much as tosses a cigarette out his car window. Frankly, we're terrified. We may find ourselves cut off from the very nature we are blessed to have surround us because the National Forests will be closed, and so all that will be left to us is hanging around coffee shops bitching about the state of things and getting on each others' nerves.

So maybe your truly should at least take a month or two and immerse himself back in the once-divided city on some pretense, like a language immersion program, or maybe just some time in a sanatarium.

Anyway, my apologies for the long gap.

And to my friend in Nebraska, Howdy-hi! I'll be visiting the library tomorrow.

Over and out.

Chimpie: Spreading the Love

Most hated man on earth? You decide.

About 5,000 personnel including snipers, commandos and U.S. marines using helicopters, bomb detectors and electronic jammers will protect President George W. Bush during his visit to India this week, officials said on Monday.

Wherever he goes, it's a war zone.

A day before U.S. President George W. Bush arrives here, Delhi's Maurya Sheraton Hotel is all decked up and ready to play host... The hotel, which now resembles a fortress, has an all-time high security cover and is also witnessing an intensive beautification drive that has ensured trimmed bushes and white sheets stretched across the green area opposite the premium luxury hotel.

While the visiting American team has booked all 600 rooms in the hotel, the authorities here claim that they aren't making any special arrangements or changes in menu for the visiting President.

Meanwhile, other hospitality industry experts prepared their welcome for the Chimperor.

"We emphatically oppose the forthcoming visit... President Bush is the topmost official of U.S. imperialism, leading enemy of the sovereignty of nations and the peoples of the world today. He is the leader of the imperialist quest at neo-colonial world domination. He is certainly not welcome in India... " the Committee consisting of the Left, the Samajwadi Party, the Janata Dal (Secular) and the Indian Justice Party said in a joint statement.

I'd recommend staying quietly in his room. Order the chicken vindaloo. It's excellent.

Chimpie: Architect of Peace

Oh Christ. Even National Intelligence Director John "Death Squad" Negroponte (do a Google search on Negroponte and his record in Central America) thinks that Bush has brought us closer to World War IV than anyone could have dreamed.

A civil war in Iraq could lead to a broader conflict in the Middle East, pitting the region's rival Islamic sects against each other...

Chimpie, you're doin' a heckuva job.

What have we done as a nation to deserve this? Was it Vietnam? Anyway, it gets better. Chimpie decided to impart his fathomless wisdom in interviews and speeches today.

President Bush condemned the surge in violence and said Iraqis must make a choice between "a free society or a society dictated ... by evil people who will kill innocents."

Yeah, El Presidente, we all know the feeling. I just never expected to be facing the choice inside the borders of my own damned country.

Later, in an interview with ABC News' "World News Tonight," he said he did not believe the escalation of civil unrest would lead to a general civil war.

No, of course not. Why should he start listening to anyone in touch with reality now?

Chimpie: Torturer in Chief

Every American should read this piece by Fred Branfman, "On Being Good Americans in Time of Torture," because he makes two points that should give every single one of us a bad conscience. (1) Bush, unlike any other leader in modern history, has officially reserved the right to torture people at his discretion, and (2) We have all been witnesses to this declaration, despite his bald-faced lie, "We do not torture." In fact, even as he signed the recent defense bill with John McCain's amendment against torture (which passed 90-9 in the Senate, and which Bush threatened the entire defense bill over), he also signed a statement reserving his right to do whatever he saw fit under the guise of protecting America against terrorism. In other words, Chimpie maintained that he had the power to order torture if he personally deemed it necessary.

So Bush has crowned himself Torturer in Chief, and we all know it. The blood and suffering is on our hands, on every American's hands, if we do not bring this monster to justice.

Here's One Reason I Didn't Make the Military My Career

Unbelievable, but sadly understandable. This explains why we have civilian control over the military, but when you get a bunch of ideologically fascist, lying, incompetents running the civilian side, the military gets it in the neck. Zogby has the numbers:

-- Le Moyne College/Zogby Poll shows just one in five troops want to heed Bush call to stay “as long as they are needed”
-- While 58% say mission is clear, 42% say U.S. role is hazy
-- Plurality believes Iraqi insurgents are mostly homegrown
-- Almost 90% think war is retaliation for Saddam’s role in 9/11, most don’t blame Iraqi public for insurgent attacks
-- Majority of troops oppose use of harsh prisoner interrogation
-- Plurality of troops pleased with their armor and equipment

What the fuck? How is it possible that long after no one except Dick Cheney and Orrin Hatch claim that Iraq was involved in 9/11, that 90% of our GIs think that's why they're there?

That's why I did my hitch in the military and got out. The mixture of propaganda and willful, rationalizing self-delusion makes it a world totally alien to anyone who truly believes in the First Amendment. Of course, once you've got soldiers in the breach, you've got to keep them motivated by any means necessary. The tragedy here is that the fundamental reasons for the war were bogus, the fucking Chimpie administration knew it, and they killed 2300 of our sons, daughters, moms, and dads along with a hell of a lot of innocent Iraqis whose only crime was to be living in the wrong place at the wrong time. And now we're reaping the whirlwind on all fronts.

Impeach Bush, Cheney, then indict them in the International Criminal Court. Ditto for Rumsfeld, Pearle, Wolfowitz, Hadley, Rice, and the rest of the criminal cabal.

And for those in the press who rah-rahed us into this mess, take the honorable way out and resign your positions. Go do something useful for society, like volunteer work in New Orleans or in the worst sections of Washington D.C. See if you can help to develop a generation of journalists who know the difference between truth and running their tongues up the anuses of people in power just because they want to maintain their invitations to the President's Ball.

Cowards and sycophants are what make liars into leaders.

Suddenly, Nobody Loves Chimpie

I want to say "I told you so," and so I'm going to.

Told you so. Bush is, without question (and I've been saying this for 5 fucking years) the absolute most corrupt and incompetent president this nation has ever had, with an administration aligned along those standards. Too bad it took 2200+ American lives in Iraq, thousands more from Katrina, a nation more at risk than ever to terrorism, and an economy headed for the precipice to clue the rest of America in, but better late than never. Here are the latest poll numbers showing that all but the most drug-addled, deluded, or ideologically fascist have stopped loving Supreme Commander Bunnypants:

The latest CBS News poll finds President Bush's approval rating has fallen to an all-time low of 34 percent, while pessimism about the Iraq war has risen to a new high...

In a separate poll, two out of three Americans said they do not think President Bush has responded adequately to the needs of Katrina victims. Only 32 percent approve of the way President Bush is responding to those needs, a drop of 12 points from last September’s poll, taken just two weeks after the storm made landfall.

Mr. Bush's overall job rating has fallen to 34 percent, down from 42 percent last month. Fifty-nine percent disapprove of the job the president is doing.

For the first time in this poll, most Americans say the president does not care much about people like themselves. Fifty-one percent now think he doesn't care, compared to 47 percent last fall.

Just 30 percent approve of how Mr. Bush is handling the Iraq war, another all-time low...

Half of Americans say they disapprove of how he's handling the war on terror, while 43 percent approve.

Here's the real screamer in my book. The very best news for Chimpie is that people are sick of hearing about Cheney's marksmanship.

Chimpie's Most Devastating Abandonment

Question 1: To what matter does the following quote refer?
Question 2: Who wrote it and in what publication?

And the kernel here is the acknowledgment of defeat.

Now go read the article and see why Chimpie and the Chimpettes are browning their Dr. Dentons tonight.

More of Chimpie's Heckuva Job

Well, Iraq is just doing great, doncha think? Maybe it's time to rotate our soldiers, marines, sailors, and airmen out of there. I'd say that the Iraqis have things well in hand--civil war eliminates the need for Americans to shoot at now that Sunnis and Shiites have finally decided to start blowing up mosques and execute innocent journalists.

Then we have the nuclear deal with ally India going south, again thanks to Chimpie's dynamite diplomatic style. And our relationships with the Muslim world just keep getting better thanks to the arrogant ignorance of Condoleezza Rice, promoted to Secretary of State after being asleep at the switch for 9/11 as National Security Advisor.

But Chimpie can take comfort in the effect of his charm on his Republican Party cohorts, as they run screaming from his insider deal with the United Arab Emirates that ought to further fatten the wallets of the Bush family empire. And White House competence at organization will certainly be enhanced by their new review of the Katrina response by the agencies that they reorganized into the Department of Homeland Security and staffed with select, ultra-qualified cronies like Michael Chertoff and Michael "Drownie Brownie" Brown.

I don't want to bring too much happiness to my friends this morning, so I'll just give out one more tidbit for adoration of our Fearless Leader Who Is Never Wrong, and that's this wonderful news for middle class Red Staters who worship Fearless Leader without questions because he likes to quote the Bible: your standard of living, although slipping, is going to a good cause, which is fattening the backsides of the Cheney, Bush, and Saudi Royal families. That's a sacrifice I know the loyal Republicans are always cheerful to make. Your incomes have dropped 2.3% since 2001, which I don't want to denigrate, but surely you can do better than that. After all, think of all the therapy Uncle Dick is going to need now that he's gone and shot his friend in the face.

Cheney's Motive? Here's One

You may wonder why Deadeye Dick shot a fellow Republican. Oh, sure, it was an "accident." But of all the Republicans that Cheney has gone hunting with (Antonin Scalia among them), isn't it simply fascinating that the one that got a faceful of birdshot was Mr. Harry Whittington? Here's a hint why:

Harry Whittington is, pardon the expression, a rare bird: a liberal Texas Republican. He is not a religious fanatic, nor is he a "string-'em-up" law and order man. On the contrary, he's been campaigning for years to clean up the Texas prison system and prevent the execution of the mentally disabled. He's a reformer all round - an old-fashioned social activist whose distaste for government corruption crosses the usual party lines.

It must have been the government anti-corruption stuff that pushed Cheney over the edge, or maybe it was the opposition to executing the mentally disabled. Of course, after his war crimes trial, that means Chimpie will only get life imprisonment.

Oh well.

Ballistics and the Cheney Lies

I'm still looking for ballistics information specific to 28 gauge shotguns and the loads Cheney was using. I don't buy that 30-yard range bullshit, but that's just because we're dealing with a congenital liar. I'd like some hard data on the penetration capability of birdshot from a 28 gauge at 30 yards.

In the meantime, here's a very interesting webpage for your examination.

Cheney at Folsom Prison

Oh man, is this funny!

By the way, I think that's a Martin D-18 Golden Era sunburst that he's playing.

Privacy Disappears Before Our Very Eyes

You thought there was going to be an investigation into the NSA domestic spying program, didn't you? Oh, all right, let's be fair, the "terrorist surveillance program" that just happens to spy on loyal Americans within the borders of the United States. In fact, even some Republicans were upset that this program existed outside of the FISA law and wanted to get to the bottom of it, denying that the president had some inherent authority to spy on Americans in the name of security.

Yeah, well if you thought that crack-licking Republicans of any stripe were immune to blackmail, coercion, or a faceful of birdshot, think again. The Washington Post tried to bury this on page A03, but it's there, and you had better be scared.

The Senate intelligence committee is scheduled to vote tomorrow on a Democratic-sponsored motion to start an inquiry into the recently revealed program in which the National Security Agency eavesdrops on an undisclosed number of phone calls and e-mails involving U.S. residents without obtaining warrants from a secret court. Two committee Democrats said the panel -- made up of eight Republicans and seven Democrats -- was clearly leaning in favor of the motion last week but now is closely divided and possibly inclined against it.

They attributed the shift to last week's closed briefings given by top administration officials to the full House and Senate intelligence committees, and to private appeals to wavering GOP senators by officials, including Vice President Cheney. "It's been a full-court press," said a top Senate Republican aide who asked to speak only on background -- as did several others for this story -- because of the classified nature of the intelligence committees' work.

One Democratic senator knows what sort of arm twisting is going on.

John D. Rockefeller IV (D-W.Va.), the Senate intelligence committee's vice chairman, has drafted a motion calling for a wide-ranging inquiry into the surveillance program, according to congressional sources who have seen it. Rockefeller declined to be interviewed yesterday.

Sources close to Rockefeller say he is frustrated by what he sees as heavy-handed White House efforts to dissuade Republicans from supporting his measure. They noted that Cheney conducted a Republicans-only meeting on intelligence matters in the Capitol yesterday.

I'm beginning to see the pattern. Cheney shoots a dude in the face. Cheney convenes a meeting of Republicans only. Cheney holds up a photo of Harry Whittington's hamburger puss.

"You motherfuckers want some of this, huh?" Cheney says.

The senators and representatives look at one another.

"N-n-n-n-n-no, sir!"

"Good little bitches," Cheney says, chuckling. He looks at the picture of Whittington and smiles his twisted smile. "Good little bitches. Now get back to work."

"Yes, sir!" roar DeWine, Snowe, and Hagel. "May we lick your balls, sir?"

"Yes, yes, that would be good. Clean 'em up before I have my interview with Brit Hume this afternoon. He likes my balls clean."

Why You Know No Truth Is Coming from the White House on the Cheney Shooting

Interesting, isn't it, that Rove needed to speak to the one eye witness to Cheney shooting Harry Whittington in the face with a shotgun.

"Chief of Staff Andy Card called the president around 7:30 p.m. to inform him that there was a hunting accident," a statement released today by the White House said. "He did not know the vice president was involved at that time. Subsequent to the call, Deputy Chief of Staff Karl Rove spoke with Mrs. Armstrong. He then called the president shortly before 8 p.m. to update him and let him know the vice president had accidentally shot Mr. Whittington."

I guess he had to be sure Ms. Armstrong had the right script and was going to stick to it.

"Hey, Katherine, it's Karl."

"Hi Karl. God, it's just awful, awful."

"You got grandchildren, Kathering, right?"

"Huh? Well, yes. Why?"

"Do you know if they're safe right now?"

"What do you mean?"

"Lot of danger out there, lot of random violence, kidnappings, ritual murder..."

"What? What the hell are you talking about?"

"Prositution, forced labor, just endless suffering for those poor kids..."

"Listen, Karl, the Vice President shot Harry in the face!"

"You love your grandkids, don't you Katherine?"

"Well, yes, of course."

"Now what happened on the ranch? In your own words of course. You say there was an accident?"

Or something like that.

I Guess the National Rifle Association Is Right:

Guns don't kill people. People with guns kill people.

Mommy, Is It Treason Yet?

Hot from Raw Story:

The unmasking of covert CIA officer Valerie Plame Wilson by White House officials in 2003 caused significant damage to U.S. national security and its ability to counter nuclear proliferation abroad, RAW STORY has learned.

According to current and former intelligence officials, Plame Wilson, who worked on the clandestine side of the CIA in the Directorate of Operations as a non-official cover (NOC) officer, was part of an operation tracking distribution and acquisition of weapons of mass destruction technology to and from Iran.

Now if, as is alleged, Cheney directed Scooter-boy to out Plame as payback to Joe Wilson's truth telling--or for any reason, for that matter--then he should fry. Especially given the brouhaha over Iran now.

Is there anything on earth these motherfuckers can't make worse? Anything?

Also, was Cheney drunk when he shot his buddy? Is that a crime in Texas, or is that a requirement?

Irony Meter Off the Charts Yet Again

Coming just two days after Dick "Straight Shooter" Cheney missed getting his own personal kill, rather than using US military proxies in Iraq, First "Lady" Laura Bush had this pronouncement about rioting Muslims:

"If we resort to violence, it's very, very difficult to have any sort of dialogue," she said.

This from a woman who shares a roof and maybe a bed with a man who has launched the most idiotic war in recent American history for reasons that all turned out to be lies, and then managed to conduct that war in an unimaginably incompetent manner. Oh, yeah, and he thinks torture is as much fun as blowing up frogs with firecrackers.

Would someone send that bitch a fucking dictionary?