Olaf Rotkohl

Rush Limbaugh Signature Condoms

2009-11-19T22:35:00.002-07:00

They're safe! They're fun! And Sarah digs 'em, even if they aren't totally impermeable. Get a dozen today!

Oh Yeah? Well, I'm Back!

2009-11-05T20:33:00.006-07:00

That's right, motherfuckers. Six months after my 600th post, and big, big changes in the life of Olaf, it's time to resume the endless rant. The political and social situation is as grave as ever and who's going to save this country if not me?

After getting through the swine flu, changing my hairstyle, and accidently shaving off my beard, I'm rested and ready to start swinging again, one little man against the capitalist bastards who remain in control. You thought the election of Obama had silenced me? Did you think that everything was hunky-dory? It didn't and it's not. We continue to live in a country that always ensures the exemption of the rich from the prices they must pay for their avarice and stupidity, as well as the bovine timidity of a population of TV-hypnotized zombies who wouldn't know a revolution unless it seized their remote control in the name of Marx and Engels.

You dig?

Lassie Takes Another Dump

2009-04-16T21:42:00.007-07:00

Ever notice how porcine Rush Limbaugh is? I mean besides his considerably bloated and disgusting self. But I've never seen or heard a pig orally emit such defecation as the Hillbilly Heroin Homeboy has repeatedly done, and this week had to be a topper. From Limbaugh's own toilet of a website:

The Somali pirates, the merchant marine organizers who took a US merchant captain hostage for five days were inexperienced youths, the defense secretary, Roberts Gates, said yesterday, adding that the hijackers were between 17 and 19 years old. Now, just imagine the hue and cry had a Republican president ordered the shooting of black teenagers on the high seas...
...They were kids. The story is out, I don't know if it's true or not, but apparently the hijackers, these kids, the merchant marine organizers, Muslim kids, were upset, they wanted to just give the captain back and head home because they were running out of food, they were running out of fuel, they were surrounded by all these US Navy ships, big ships, and they just wanted out of there. That's the story, but then when one of them put a gun to the back of the captain, Mr. Phillips, then bam, bam, bam. There you have it, and three teenagers shot on the high seas at the order of President Obama.

Now remember, this is the jackass who repeatedly played "Barack the Magic Negro on his cesspit radio show, and has just about every credential an aspiring racist might want to acquire. And yet now the pirates are poor, black, teenage "merchant marine organizers." Truly, in the history of rhetorical dishonesty, this is a high-water mark.

But just for your own morbid curiosity, if you can arrange a thorough disinfection of your computer and everything that touches it, go over to Junkie Jerk's site and read it for yourself. Then find a shower like the one in Silkwood and get the shit scrubbed off with steel-bristle brushes.

Quite frankly, I'm not able to comment much on this idiot's ravings because it's like trying to find a corner on a sphere--yeah a sphere as engorged and polluted as the Hillbilly Heroin Homeboy.

Hillbilly Heroin Homeboy and Fearless Leader Combined

2009-03-03T21:43:00.006-07:00

I've been looking at this picture for a bit (yes, it's hideous, but I must endure such torment for research purposes) and it reminded me of a celebrity from my childhood. Then it hit me.

Lassie taking a shit.

Beyond that, this drug addict, college dropout, anal-cyst-get-outa-Vietnam, lard bucket, fascistic, thrice-divorced egomaniac is the de facto leader of the Republican Party of Family Values, although he claims otherwise. In other words, this is the best of their best in terms of ideas, presentation, and recognition. Prominent Repubs who speak out of turn quickly bend over and beg his forgiveness and accept his cigar, the fastest being RNC chairman Michael Steele, who offered his sweet cheeks 51 minutes after offending the Limbaughistas. Louisiana governor Bobby Jindal joined the daisy chain soon after, remarking of Steele's total capitulation, "I'm glad he apologized." After Jindal's response to Obama's speech last Tuesday was called even by conservative columnist David Brooks "insane" and "a disaster for the Republican party," Jindal was probably grateful that the Hillbilly Heroin Homeboy went on the warpath for him. "The people on our side are making a real mistake if they go after Bobby Jindal," Limbaugh said on his radio show.

However, let me congratulate the fat fuck on kicking his addiction, even though he still has to show up for piss tests to ensure he's clean. But as is the sad case for most addicts, one addiction is traded for another. In his case, one might suspect he traded Oxycontin for Twinkies deep fried in hog lard smothered in bacon grease and served on a slab of fatback covered in hot fudge. But it's legal.

Oh yeah--this is my 600th post. Now I know why that novel never gets anywhere.

Gonzo's Own Reality Distortion Field

2009-02-20T09:10:00.003-07:00

Remember this twerp? He presided over the attempted destruction of the Justice Department while Attorney General of the United States and the use of torture and the attack on habeas corpus, etc. Well now poor Gonzo can't find a job and he's going to be hauled up before a "truth commission." Here is his reaction to that.

“My view has always been to be as cooperative as possible,” said Gonzales, “and that’s what I’ve been with respect to everything. As far as I’m concerned I’ve got nothing to hide and I’ll cooperate. Every time I’ve been asked to cooperate, I’ve cooperated. In terms of what happens in the future, I’m not going to comment on that, but that is what I’ve done in the past.”

This is a guy who invoked the "I do not recall" defense 60 times during his hearing before the Senate. Yeah, Gonzo, you're a stand-up guy. I have a feeling that he's going to sell out the entire Bush administration now that he realizes he was totally used, being the dope that he is.

Meanwhile, as further proof that the Republican party, having failed to destroy the country, is intent on destroying itself, celebrates Gonzo.

Former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales appeared at a forum on Republicans and the Hispanic vote at the Capitol Hill Club this morning, getting a standing ovation from the crowd when he was pointed out by the moderator.

The Repubs are determined to erase themselves from history by celebrating criminality while increasingly appealing to only the most backward enclaves of the rural South.

Good luck to them. With the raging Hillbilly Heroin Homeboy, Rush Limbaugh, and the screeching Sean Hannity at the helm, I'd say they're not only crashing into the iceberg, but setting off dynamite charges in the bilge at the same time.

A Fleet of These Ten Times Bigger

2009-02-12T20:22:00.004-07:00

Take this design, but make it ten times larger. Build a few hundred of them. Then, with unemployed citizens at the controls, converge on the Capitol, and make it clear that tax cuts are of no use to the unemployed, the homeless, and those bankrupted by health care costs. The "stimulus" bill, a bastard child of phony bipartisanship in which three Republican senators are able to compromise the will of the American people and make a full 35% of the stimulus a series of tax cuts, reflects the total corruption of our political system. The Democrats, too timid and dumb to assert their power--given to them by the people--have allowed the Republicans to dictate the terms of this package, which is too small and terribly misdirected.

This is a scandalous crime! The need is for jobs, jobs, jobs! God damn it, how many times do I have to scream at the Obama administration that you should not waste time or energy trying to compromise with people who are fanatical ideologues who would rather destroy a nation than face the reality of their own failures and the sheer idiocy of their belief that tax cuts solve everything.

A thousand giant spider robots. How cool is that? Robots are beautiful. Spider robots are magnificent.

Where Is Richard Widmark When We Really Need Him

2009-02-04T17:21:00.002-07:00

Haven't we heard enough, and hasn't the world heard enough from this evil fuck? Jesus, his whole crazy world view has been totally repudiated (wrong on: WMD, greeted as liberators in Iraq, on the economy, on energy policy, gun safety, etc. etc.) but he still can't shut the fuck up. Why he isn't dragged by his heels to war crimes trials in the Hague is inexplicable. He destroyed our credibility in the world, and he is now completely distorting the Obama administration's policy with regard to terrorism and Al Qaeda.

What a waste of protoplasm.

On Becoming Godzilla

2009-01-26T20:25:00.003-07:00

Would someone please tell the Democratic leadership that they won the last election overwhelmingly? And further, please explain that when the Republicans don't like what they're doing about the economy, or anything else for that matter, their reaction should be precisely that of Godzilla to terrified Japanese.

Crush them. Godzilla does not compromise. He destroys.

Somebody, please, find that locker in Union Station where the Dems put their testicles.

At Least a Classy Exit

2009-01-20T18:21:00.003-07:00

Although I may be a monster to some for my criticism of the Bush presidency, I have to give props to President Bush for a smooth transition and a very classy speech to his followers in Midland, Texas, today. It doesn't negate what has gone before, but he deserves respect for understanding the importance to our republic that the transition of power go smoothly, and that his successor may well determine his final legacy.

And now a new era begins.

You're In, President Obama. Now Let's Get Moving.

2009-01-20T15:41:00.003-07:00

Once the celebrations are over, I hope that Mr. Obama will come out of the gate in a furious rush to tackle the problems we face and to help all of us shape the future into a true expression of our national mythology. Whatever the politics, it is amazing to consider that this was the 43rd peaceful transition of power in this country, and I must tip my hat to outgoing President Bush for overseeing what appears to be a very smooth transition.

Until tomorrow, then, let's celebrate a new day, but understand that the work ahead will be without end, that obstacles will be difficult to overcome, and that mistakes will be made. But it is hard not to hope.

In fact, it is impossible not to hope.

Good Fucking Riddance...

2009-01-19T17:58:00.000-07:00

...and don't let the gate hit your asses on the way out.

Bush Contemplates His Legacy

2009-01-12T17:42:00.004-07:00

And it even makes him sick to his stomach.

Either that or his bullshit has finally backed up on him and his head is going to explode.

But then, I'm an optimist.

The Way It Is, Baby

2009-01-10T22:04:00.003-07:00

What can I say? Hey, is this thing on? I knoe you're out there, 'cause I can hear you burping. How 'bout some comments, y'all?

Bipartisanship Is for Weaklings

2009-01-08T20:32:00.004-07:00

And here are two of them, so terrified of the Republicans who fucking LOST the House, the Senate, and the White House, that they are going to piss away the opportunity to put this nation back on the path of progress.

Get rid of these losers and put some leadership in Congress that understands what having power means. If there is one thing that should have been learned in the last eight years is that you do not bargain with ideological extremists--you destroy them.

But the Democratic Party, co-opted by money as easily as the Republicans (there's really just one party--the party of power over YOU), will fail to create a comprehensive health care system (read single-payer, eliminating insurance companies), will fail to end the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan (defense industry lobbyists, anyone), and will be as effective at turning the economy around as a eunuch at an orgy is at knocking up the entire harem. Pelosi and Reid have spent so much of their integrity and capital gaining the power they now relish, that they will do nothing that might, even in the remotest sense, require them to go to the mat with the opposition.

And that makes them the opposition. They're worthless. Dump 'em.

And meanwhile, Dr. Howard Dean, who more than anyone deserves credit for restoring a Democratic majority, is totally dissed by the Obama team.

I thought there was change in the air. But it's just the same old stink of chickenshit and bullshit.

First Lorena Bobbitt, Now This

2009-01-06T18:29:00.003-07:00

Guess we'll be sleeping on our stomachs for a while longer.

It's funny but also terribly tragic. The guy died, and his home was destroyed, and with his wife (who set his genitals on fire) going to the clink, his three kids will be essentially orphaned.

Atheists Speak Up

2009-01-06T17:57:00.003-07:00

Here's one for the A-team--a group in Britain has countered biblical slogans on buses with their own message on London's red double-deckers: "There's probably no god. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life." The Guardian UK has the story and a nice video with Ariane Sherine explaining why she started the campaign, and Richard Dawkins, author of The God Delusion, commenting. One interesting point Dawkins makes is that whenever atheists state their point of view, it is considered strident, but it's perfectly acceptable to pronounce that all non-believers will burn for all eternity in a lake of fire.

And take note of that "probably" in the bus poster. That's the sign of open minds.

Pinnacle of Incompetence?

2009-01-05T16:51:00.003-07:00

Any part of the world where things aren't worse? The latest blowup in the Gaza strip reveals how stunningly weak the US has become in influencing anything anywhere, short of military intervention, which, under the Bush clown car team, can go either way, but is generally equally failed as everything else. But Condi Rice is on a whole other plane. Now she can claim total failure in the mideast as Secretary of State, terrible relations with Russia as our alleged "Soviet Expert," and, of course, being National Security Adviser while 9/11 happened and two wars went horribly wrong.

Heckuva job, Condi! I'm sure you'll be rewarded with a cushy job back at Stanford.

The Winter So Far

2009-01-05T16:30:00.003-07:00

This is our situation in the early morning. Actually, even with all the shoveling involved, it's still pretty cool to have this much snow. Perhaps the drought is over for a while.

Meanwhile, the Chimpie Disaster Project is trying to wring every failure and fuckup out of the last fifteen days of its tenure. I can only hope their plans to torch the White House will be scuttled by their unparalleled general incompetence. "I thought you had the matches?"

I Think Something May Be Wrong with Our Water Supply

2009-01-05T16:23:00.003-07:00

Happy New Year and welcome to Otto, the newest addition to the Rotkohl household. We adopted him--he'd been dumped, apparently--and now he's fattened up, denutted (so he can't reproduce), and totally at home. I've not really been a cat person, so I have been amused at how he just came in and took over, compared to doggy Dorothy who has remained obedient, deferential, and loyal to a fault. And yes, the two tolerate one another quite nicely, although Dorothy occasionally annoys Otto by trampling him in her enthusiasm to go for a walk.

What, you say, no snarky or rage-filled diatribes? Not today. I feel mellow (it may be the single-malt I sipped for a while). Take it while you can get it.

Bankers and Senators vs. the Working People

2008-12-11T18:33:00.004-07:00

Senator Bob Corker of Tennessee and Mitch McConnell of Kentucky and other Republicans, plus a couple of Democrats, after handing over, without question $700 billion to Wall Street, now threaten to block a minimal $15 billion bridge to the Big 3 automakers.

Wall Street makes nothing. It is a massive factory of illusion in which shell games are run to create a myth of money making money making money. However, by threat of destroying the economy, they get carte blanche with hundreds of billions of taxpayer dollars as fast as a bootlicking Congress can effect it. Detroit, on the other hand, with union labor, makes actual stuff. And the powers that run this country HATE workers who organize, because they might actually manage to get a fair share of the wealth they create.

The propaganda machines of the right wing and the moneyed classes have been running day and night to paint auto workers as the cause of Detroit's problems. Don't buy it, unless you actually believe that sitting in a cubicle selling financial "products" to foolish investors is actually the equivalent of working on a factory assembly line.

I would rather see a million bankers and stockbrokers homeless and begging than to see one assembly line worker lose even more benefits because his or her management is totally incapable of predicting the obvious about the future of the automobile industry. Remember, workers do not plan, market, or design the automobiles, yet they are the first to suffer when such planning and marketing and design prove to be faulty.

The downstream effects of bankruptcy of the auto companies are incalculable, but even worse is what will happen to what remains of the American labor movement. If you are a wage earner, know your enemies in the Senate and House of Representatives. Let them know you know what they are doing. Call your own senator's and representative's offices and tell them that you will not tolerate any more attacks on American workers.

One great heartening development, however, is the workers' occupation of the Republic Windows and Doors factory in Chicago after the Bank of America tried to shut them down. I hope this is an inspiration to all threatened workers. Do not go politely, do not go gently. Those who actually create the wealth deserve their fair share.

Bertold Brecht Wrote...

2008-12-03T18:15:00.006-07:00

“It is easier to rob by setting up a bank than by holding up a bank clerk.”

It's called an inside job, I believe. And note that the inside men are still inside, even in the new administration. Not satisfied with emptying the treasury and the investments and the pockets of working people, they want to ensure that all future generations are indebted to the maximum so that they can continue to own their seven homes, drink their $700 scotch, and sleep on mattresses stuffed with the downy thigh-hair of a million sacrificial virgins (okay--I made the last one up).

These people hate you and me, and they do more damage with the stroke of a pen than any terrorist could even imagine. Through so many means, and spread over such a wide swath, they are in every sense agents of death and despair to millions upon millions of honest people.

An $8 trillion bailout, and how will it be paid? Ultimately by inflating the hell out of the currency, so that lenders can be paid off with worthless money and collaterally destroying what's left of our savings...and I was about to say "pensions" except that no one really gets those anymore.

There once was a first world, a second world, and a third world. Now there is a fourth world of nations that once belonged to the first world. Then they let the robbers take control.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2008-11-26T18:42:00.003-07:00

Enjoy the turkey!

Thank You, Texas!

2008-11-18T17:50:00.005-07:00

How about that? On November 12, Olaf begged that Cheney be indicted before he croaks, and damned if a grand jury in Texas doesn't do it, and Fox "News" reports it (so has CNN and other outlets, but Fox was the first I saw, so why not give 'em a nod--even those fuckers know which way the wind is blowing). And BONUS--Alberto Gonzalez is on the indictment too!

As Craig Ferguson likes to say, it's a good day in America.

Oh, Shut Up!

2008-11-14T15:11:00.002-07:00

Here he is again, El Presidente Stupido, making us all proud as the spokesman for global capitalism, American-style, at the G20 summit he's hosting:

He made his argument even as the U.S. government has set billions of dollars for taking stakes in banks to help jump start lending again. "I'm a market-oriented guy, but not when I'm faced with the prospect of a global meltdown," he said.

Exactly. It's like saying, "I'm a big boy. I'm on my own." And then, when trouble comes, "Mommy! Daddy!"

And Mr. Genius continues,

While acknowledging that critics from across the ideological spectrum are "equating the free enterprise system with greed and exploitation and failure," Bush argued that the crisis was not a failure of the free market system.

Shit, man, greed, exploitation, and failure are what the system is based on! Ask any stock trader. Volatility and instability rule, dude! Unless you're a poor working schmuck. But then they're just suckers, right? They don't deserve any of the wealth they've created, or any security, or respect. After all, George W. Loser and McCain got their money the right way: inherit it, or marry it.

The Irony Meter Just Exploded

2008-11-14T15:02:00.005-07:00

I'll let the AP blurb speak for itself:

"Our aim should not be more government. It should be smarter government," Bush said during a speech in New York, a day before about two dozen world leaders converge on Washington for a weekend summit he is hosting.

You can't make shit like this up.

War Criminal Watch

2008-11-12T20:05:00.000-07:00

Please indict this man before he dies on us. Hell, even if he is already technically dead, indict him anyway.

Please Go Away...

2008-11-12T12:56:00.003-07:00

...and take your rat-pelt collar with you.

With a son who's a high school dropout, and a 17-year-old daughter who's been knocked up by another high school dropout, you'd think that Sarah Palin would have considered Piper Palin's school attendance to supersede the governor's own political ambitions. But even now that the campaign is over, she's dragging little Piper onto television shows as her prop to show what a great mom she is.

Palin doesn't get it at all. Nobody cares about what she thinks, her state elected her to run business up there, and her remaining school-age children need to get educated enough to know what a US vice president does and that Africa is a continent, and, let's hope, that Jesus did not ride a dinosaur to the sermon on the mount, not to mention being able to put one god damned coherent sentence together.

Sarah, please, for the sake of those you've spawned, GO AWAY.

Thank You, Dr. Dean

2008-11-12T12:46:00.002-07:00

Those of us on the left owe a great ovation to Dr. Howard Dean who ran for president in 2004 and has since been the Democratic National Committee chair. Dr. Dean insisted on a 50-state strategy for the DNC, doing grassroots operations everywhere, rather than simply focusing on states that typically are in contention. His insistence on building left-looking organizations in every single state is largely responsible for the impressive results of this past election.

I had the privilege of seeing Dr. Dean in person in our part of the country, and my friend MB got her picture taken with him, which is tres cool. Dr. Dean is a genuinely warm, smart, and determined individual, and as he leaves the DNC chair, I hope all who celebrate the change in our country's direction will remember to thank Dr. Dean for his savvy, skill, and foresight. He's made this a better place.

A Happy Day

2008-11-06T14:01:00.006-07:00

This is my favorite image of Barack Obama so far, as a teacher. After eight years of an administration rife with dark ignorance and stupefying incompetence driven by batshit ideology, the country desperately needs a president who can, and desires to, explain and illuminate the way ahead.

As for the reports of the rifts in the McCain/Palin camps regarding her astonishing ignorance, appalling temperament, and skanky behavior, I'll leave that to Fox to elucidate.

And then there's the towel story.

I don't know if these are true or mainly attempts to divert blame from McCain for choosing so, so badly, his running mate, but either way, it reveals how fractured and vicious the Republican party is. Thank your lucky stars that enough people in this country finally woke up.

Olaf Channels Trotsky

2008-11-03T21:00:00.003-07:00

Since the Wingnuts are certain that we're on the eve of a Communist takeover, I thought I'd do my best Lev Bronstein.

McCain's Big Head Finally Outthinks His Little Head

2008-11-03T19:02:00.001-07:00

One Final Post for Today...

2008-10-30T23:21:00.003-07:00

You will vote...Look into my eyes! You will vote, you will vote, you will vote.

Who you vote for, that's your business. But for the sake of the nation, participate. Then I can rag on you for another four years, whatever happens. If you don't play, you don't get to bitch.

The Downside of Voting Early, However

2008-10-30T23:17:00.003-07:00

I thought this campaign season was interminable enough, but if you vote early, it's even worse. Now I wish I had enough Xanax and Vodka to put myself into a coma until Wednesday next week...except that I'd miss my neighbor's party on Tuesday night to watch the returns. Okay, just knock me out until Tuesday afternoon.

I Voted...for Obama

2008-10-30T22:57:00.002-07:00

And yes, that is a Cohiba. Damn, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but a Cohiba is a celebration.

Why Not Pile On...

2008-10-27T19:45:00.003-07:00

...while the Repubs devour their own?

I thought there still might be a crumb of respect for McCain left me even after this rotten campaign, but there isn't. He's morally bankrupt and a loser. He might have had a legacy to be proud of, but he burned it in the fires of his ambition. I hope the defeat next week is crushing, brutal, and massive, taking the maximum of down-ticket Republicans and starting up a right-wing cannibal carnival the likes of which we haven't seen in history.

The Dope on Palin

2008-10-25T19:57:00.004-07:00

I couldn't do anything as succinct and funny and, in a way, moving. Just click to play the video.

It Depends on What You Mean by "Socialism"

2008-10-24T13:35:00.003-07:00

Just a guess.

No God No More

2008-10-24T12:20:00.003-07:00

Trillions in personal wealth flushed down the toilet and this is all Ayn Rand acolyte Alan Greenspan can offer. And he was treated like a god at the Fed.

There are no gods and there are no devils. There are no pure ideologies that work. There ARE ideas that need consideration and discussion and analysis and testing, and usually a lot of work. Every time this country yields its own power and skepticism to some guru, it gets soundly fucked. We don't need pedestals and saints--we need citizens who think!

That's why I'm feeling so sour today. We're living in a nation of zombies.

Greenspan was a free market fanatic who was massively wrong. But he and all the people in all the circles he travels in (with wife Andrea Mitchell of NBC News) will still have their wealth, their shields and bodyguards from the rabble, and will suffer no consequences of their incompetence and/or theft.

As for the rest of us? Let 'em buy Sarah Palin's second-hand Nieman-Marcus rags.

October Surprise?

2008-10-22T19:06:00.005-07:00

Hey, she's ambitious! And it sure doesn't look like Johnny is going to make it to the White House. She's fecund enough, we know that, and since she rejects science and is born again, well, it could be both an immaculate conception AND Obama's kid, because he's, you know, That One.

Red Baiting?

2008-10-21T19:45:00.007-07:00

Did I just go back in time? Jesus H. Christ, the most right-wing, reactionary, free market crackpot party rams through partial nationalization of banks and their candidate for president, John McCain, is invoking the spectre of communism to attack Barack Obama?

“He wants to quote ‘spread the wealth around,’” McCain said in a campaign speech in Pennsylvania Tuesday. “He believes in redistributing wealth, not in policies that grow our economy and create jobs and opportunities for all Americans. Sen. Obama is more interested in controlling who gets your piece of the pie than he is in growing the pie.”

And Sarah Palin keeps reading from the same cue cards:

At a rally Friday in West Chester, Ohio, where one banner in the crowd read, "Obama is a Socialist/Marxist," Palin said, "Joe suggested that that sounded a little bit like socialism. Whatever you call it, I call it bad medicine for an ailing economy, and it's what Barack Obama will do to those who want to create jobs, and we're willing to call Barack Obama on it."

What the frak? I mean, I get it. They lost ground when they tried to label him a terrorist, and a secret Muslim, and a guy with a weird name, and a guy named "Hussein," and a guy who happened to be half African-American, and a guy who was educated and "elite," and a guy who was "eloquent" and therefore suspicious, and so on, they lost polling points every time, and so they have to reach waaaaaaaay back to some retro Eisenhower era codeword that might just echo for the last few numbskulls who haven't realized what a washed-up douchebag weathervane McCain is and what an incurious, dumbass, fanatic Palin is.

Ooooooooh, there's a Commie under the bed!

Please. Just when you thought even the last Republican standing wouldn't say something so dumb, their fucking leaders are saying things this dumb. And with two weeks left, I can't wait to see what comes next.

My guess? A whispering campaign that Barack Obama is an alien. I mean, look at those ears! And he's so thin. Doesn't he remind you of Michael Rennie in The Day the Earth Stood Still?

Paulson Discovers Marx? Maybe, but America Is Still Getting Screwed

2008-10-14T20:11:00.007-07:00

Before I rant, "Neu Entdecken" means "new discovery," which is why I had to use this recent photo from my Berlin trip to accompany commentary on Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson's capitulation to partial nationalization of the banks. It's one of those sweet, sweet ironies that also has a terribly painful price for its enjoyment--all of us losing our financial asses. Paulson, a Wall Street insider who loved the totally anti-regulation atmosphere and absense of any enforcement of the few regulations that remained, had to face the obvious-to-some-of-us fact that capitalism cannot function without some protection from the natural greed that too often destroys the very thing that fed it. Here's what Paulson said, and it's kind of delicious. I just wish it wasn't costing me so goddamned much money. Fuck!

Today we are taking decisive actions to protect the U.S. economy. We regret having to take these actions. Today's actions are not what we ever wanted to do — but today's actions are what we must do to restore confidence to our financial system... We are acting with unprecedented speed taking unprecedented measures that we never thought would be necessary. But they are necessary to get our economy back on an even keel, and secure the confidence and future of our markets, our economy and the economic well-being of all Americans.

Yeah, they never thought it would be necessary because they're greedy, incompetent, unimaginative assholes, and, let's face it, Americans are not really very well educated in financial matters...or much of anything beyond what Rush Limbaugh or Wolf Blitzer tell them, depending on which no-nothing they happen to like. Looking at the New York Times' photo of Paulson, Fed Chair Ben Bernanke, and Timothy F. Geithner (a Fed board member) is really fun, because they look like a trio of schoolboys about to see the principal. But they're just smart enough to keep this deal flush with loopholes that will allow the further raping of the U.S. taxpayer and looting of the nation.

Here's the deal. The European central banks really forced the U.S. to do this by rapidly deploying capital and control over the financial sector in Europe. But the U.S. version is faulty for the following reasons, as reported by the New York Times:

Whereas some European plans barred banks from paying dividends on common stock until the government got its money back and demanded promises that the banks would keep loans flowing to businesses and individuals, Washington allowed the banks that it invests in to continue paying dividends on existing common and preferred shares.
In addition, while European banks are being required in some cases to put government representatives on their boards, the American government will not receive board seats or have voting power.

Got that? Paulson, et alia, are funneling money to the same fuckers who caused this mess, but without the necessary guarantees and controls that they won't fuck it up again, and even worse. So don't expect this to be any sort of turnaround. Paulson is giving away our money without demanding sufficient proportional control and, even more importantly, openness.

If I could, I'd like to have all my dough in cash and in denominations large enough that I could smuggle them across borders. Hmmm...I remember that in Ian Fleming's James Bond book Dr. No that the title character had secreted his wealth around in rare stamps. Probably not a bad idea. Alas, current laws prevent anyone but drug kingpins and greedheads from getting their hands on much cash anymore.

I could always exploit my amazing musical skills to earn a few Euros on the S-Bahn, I suppose. You can still get a doner kebab for 2.5 Euros in Berlin. And beer's cheap. I could stay drunk.

Not much else left these days. I will say this, however. No matter how poor I become, I'll never sink to drinking Bud Lite or Coors or any of that other swill. Pilsner Urquell, Baby, all the way to the poorhouse!

Like Piping Hydrogen to the Hindenburg

2008-10-02T16:45:00.003-07:00

See, the economy and the money moguls' management of it--the alleged "free market"--are like the Hindenburg just as it docks in Lakehurst, New Jersey. And the hydrogen is the money you've invested. And what Congress is proposing to do by ramming this rescue, i.e. bailout bill through is to run a pipeline directly from your future earnings and your children's future earnings and their children's future earnings right into that flaming mass. Meanwhile, they're filling their own zeppelins with nonflammable helium so they can float away after the rest of us have plunged to earth.

And now we learn that this "urgent" bill that the Senate already passed and which the House may pass tomorrow is larded with $100 billion in pork projects. What I want to know is why can't the Congress pass a bill that deals ONLY with this alleged crisis in liquidity?

Secondly, I want to know why absolutely no lead story on this matter was available on the Google's main news page. You'd think that it would rank somewhat higher than Joe Biden's debate with a demonstrably airheaded governor of Alaska who thinks the earth is 6000 years old and that men road dinosaurs to their jobs on the rockpile.

I can guess the answer to the first one. The combination of stupidity and greed that collects in Washington and Wall Street is so resistant to common sense or shame that if you put a gold Krugerrand inside the spleen of his or her mother, any senator or stock broker would ask to borrow your Swiss army knife to cut it out of her and then wipe his hands on her shawl afterward.

The answer to the second makes me sound like a conspiracy nut, but it smells pretty goddamned funny.

Are they rioting in the streets at home yet? It sure seems like a logical result of this week's proceedings.

Instead of using taxpayer money to bail these bastards out, how about seizing the assets of all the failing banks and liquidating them to finance the bailout, along with the punitive taxation of all insane consumption like third and fourth and fifth homes, big yachts, $100,000+ automobiles, giant jewelry, etc. If it's a real crisis, then take from those who can most afford to sacrifice, not the ordinary schmuck who is two paychecks away from homelessness.

Until I see legislation like that, I don't think there's a true crisis, only the propaganda about one to loosen what little we have left from our weakening grip.

P.S. My favorite sign at the protests over the Wall Street bailout: "Jump you fuckers!"

Let the "Free Market" (stifled laughter) Sort It Out

2008-09-30T11:49:00.002-07:00

I don't want to see taxpayer money used to save Wall Street. I want Wall Street's fucking CEOs, CFOs, COOs, and brokers who walked away with uncountable billions to kick the cash in to save their precious "free market" system that seems desperately to need a government titty to suck on. Bullshit. If the extreme free marketers (and I actually respect the ones in Congress who voted against the bailout, because at least they think that the system should live or die by its own logic) are true believers, then the market needs to sort itself out.

Of course, the myth is that there was ever an unfettered free market. Look, Congress sells the tax laws to firms and individuals who can afford to lobby them every year. Why is the tax code bigger than the Encyclopedia Brittanica? Because it contains exemptions and exceptions and loopholes up the wazoo and even exempts employees for the Internal Revenue Service for liability in its interpretation.

Let me put it to you this way--if you can't afford your own personal tax lawyer, you're getting fucked.

The system is a rigged game between government and corporate America (which are essentially indistinguishable these days--just ask where Henry Paulson comes from) and is played to extract as much wealth as possible from hardworking but naive people while avoiding revolution or even true reform. Thanks to a compliant (or perhaps complicit) media, we are kept distracted or lied to or prevented from discovering information that might create a balance of power, but which has concentrated power and wealth into fewer and fewer hands.

And the seams of this wicked operation are finally showing.

By the way, I and many others lost more than 7 percent of our worth yesterday. That hurts, believe me (I was hoping for a nice retirement someday), but if the system has to crumble a bit more before Americans start paying attention to the real problem, so be it.

Oh, by the way, isn't it interesting that while banks/investment firms (Glass-Steagle's repeal erased the distinction) get bailed out, if you are in danger of defaulting on your student loans or your mortgage, no such luck. And claiming that somehow this will benefit the average schmuck like me is a flat out lie. And as I said in an earlier post, when someone is pressing you on time in a deal, walk away and get more information. Never negotiate in haste. And I don't give a shit what even Barack Obama says about the urgency, never mind "Crash" McCain's idiotic rantings. This whole thing stinks.

Goodbye, Miss American Pie

2008-09-25T14:57:00.005-07:00

What's going in is this--the Bush administration and Wall Street haven't yet totally looted the Treasury yet and time is running out. Keep in mind that the Treasury includes essentially all taxable assets and future income of all Americans for as long as we put up with this shit. And Congress is either so stupid or has its ass so thoroughly greased up and benumbed that it won't do one fucking thing to stop this insanity.

This is what revolutions are made from.

Meanwhile, the view from Germany is this:

In a speech before parliament on Thursday, German Finance Minister Peer Steinbrück said the effects of the financial markets crisis would be felt in economies and labor markets worldwide for years to come. "The world will never be the same as it was before the crisis," the Social Democrat said, adding," the US will lose its status as the superpower of the global financial system."

He blamed the current crisis partly on Wall Street's "blind drive for double-digit profits" and massive bonuses for executives and bankers.

In other words, however badly they are hurt by our incompetence and greed, they are not following us down the rat hole to socialization of financial idiocy.

Our country is being gang raped by capitalism and its Washington enablers. It's got to stop, and I'm afraid that the November election isn't going to change a god-damned thing.

There is hope, however, that some kind of awakening could be occurring. Seventy percent of Americans aren't buying the repeated mantra that "immediate action is essential to prevent a catastrophe." When a salesperson starts pushing you with time constraints, it's always time to walk away from the table. Don't support Henry Paulson's twaddle or his lackey Bush's repetition, or McCain or Obama's complicity. This is a robbery, pure and simple. Fuck Wall Street.

Olaf's solution: tax all income over $250,000 (and that's fucking generous) at 100%. Tax second homes at 200%. Tax third homes at 1000%. No, wait--confiscate them. Tax all pleasure boats over 22 feet long at 100%. Tax all cut diamonds valued over $10,000 at 100%. And so on.

You get the idea. Everyone is entitled to a livable income and personal property essential to a comfortable life within reasonable limits of the mean. But no one should be entitled to outrageous possession at the expense of so many without health care, without child care, without income security, without adequate housing. And NO ONE is entitled to incomes 500 times the wage of the lowest worker in their firm NO FUCKING ONE ON EARTH!

We're All Commies Now! (and I'm off to Berlin again)

2008-09-19T22:02:00.005-07:00

So I'm going to my second home city over there on the Spree River. But first, a few words from our sponsor:

Oh, the irony! This administration, the most right-wing, reactionary, free market, laissez faire, crazy town incompetent nincompoops ever to populate our national stage, has now exercised an essentially Leninist takeover of AIG, Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae, and has totally socialized the massive fuckups by their butt buddies over on Wall Street.

When times are good, "Oh!" they screech, "Get the government out of the markets!" And then, when the entire house of cards is about to collapse in the freefall of value and the crippling of these increasingly unregulated markets from functioning at all, "Oh!" they cry, "We must get the government to save the capitalist system!"

Capitalism with buffers of regulation to prevent greed from outstripping judgment can work. But when you let extremists have their way, the consequences are dire. I don't even know if we've dodged a bullet yet--there's a shitload of stuff that has yet to spin out before anyone can tell if we're headed for the Big D or just a severe shock. But if this doesn't put an end to lobbyists writing legislation while simultaneously owning the executive branch, then you'd better start building that bunker off the grid.

Do Americans have an attention span that can last until the election? If Bernanke and Paulson can dampen the earthquake for six more weeks, will we just vote the fuckers that enabled this diasater right back in again to continue looting the Treasury and destroying the lives of working people?

I'm going to see what the world looks like from another vantage point. If I can get WiFi at the apartment we're renting, I'll drop some lines.

Hang in there.

Repubs Adjourn...Now Go Away

2008-09-05T09:23:00.002-07:00

Let's see how "relate-able" this pair really is. She--heiress to $100 million empire; he--dumped his first wife to marry her, and on government payroll his entire life. Yeah, just like us working stiffs. At least Barack and Michelle earned their own damn money.

Everyone Loves a Police State

2008-09-01T17:22:00.005-07:00

I'd say this is about right. How does this differ from police state tactics? From the New York Times:

On the weekend before the Republican National Convention, law enforcement agencies detained dozens of people and issued a series of search warrants aimed at groups believed to be organizing demonstrations while delegates and Republican officials are in town.
...
The sheriff's department continued the sweeps on Saturday morning, executing warrants for three houses in Minneapolis and two in St. Paul, detaining more than 50 people and arresting 4.
A copy of a warrant at one house said the police were authorized to look for a laundry list of items, including fire bombs, Molotov cocktails, brake fluid, photographs and maps of St. Paul, paint, computers and camera equipment, and documents and other communications.

Brake fluid, camera equipment, documents? Yep, classic terrorist materials, and certainly grounds for a search warrant.

Now one group you might be able to dismiss as "fringe" since they were self-proclaimed anarchists and anti-authoritarians, although neither of those proclamations is illegal, but by attacking a fringe group and also some more mainstream protest movements, the message is sent: "Fear the state and fear the police. We are listening, we are watching, and we have the power." Read this Glenn Greenwald piece for a better commentary than any I could make.

Watch your ass. The Bush-Cheney-Republican wet dream is here now.

Score: Putin 3, Bush -7

2008-08-21T21:23:00.002-07:00

While we diddled in Iraq, Vladimir Putin maneuvered Russia to a point where it loans us money, holds western Europe by the throat with natural gas and oil, and can challenge NATO by invading Georgia (although I hardly agree with the US media that Russia's the big bad bear in this war). After repeatedly failing to recognize Russia's growing influence and power--and remember, Secretary of State Condi Rice is alleged to be an expert in Russian affairs (I'm laughing out loud as I type this)--the US has been completely snookered by Putin. Need I remind you that Bush saw Putin's soul? Or that John McCain thought that that was a sound judgment? And now McCain is pounding his chest as if we have any leverage at all.

Putin, upon meeting Bush for the first time, realized that the chimp was a chump on an epic scale. And Condi Rice? She proved her incompetence as national security advisor before and after 9/11, so why shouldn't Putin have expected that her Russian "expertise" was equally bogus?

Now the only question is, can we make it five more months before total collapse?

Release

2008-08-05T12:49:00.003-07:00

On the Tram

2008-07-28T22:28:00.001-07:00

Sun Shines on the Charles Bridge

2008-07-20T18:48:00.001-07:00

The Czech Connection

2008-07-10T22:34:00.002-07:00

Rendition and Recreation

2008-07-01T22:07:00.003-07:00

Off the Grid

2008-06-07T20:51:00.002-07:00

What will happen to Olaf? Does anyone care? Will Sabine forget him like a bad case of athlete's foot, or will she pursue the question of what has become of the poor lad?

New postings will come by June 15, as I will off the grid for one week doing research in another venue.

If anyone is out there, stay tuned.

And Now a Word from Our Sponsor

2008-05-28T21:42:00.003-07:00

Do you recognize the fellow the left and slightly behind Karl Rove doing his "MC Rove" bit at last year's Radio and Television Correspondents' Dinner? You should, because he is NBC's chief White House correspondent. Why care? Well, now that yet another White House insider has confirmed what we on the left have been screaming for seven fucking years, and in particular chiding (not scolding, only chiding) the press for "being too deferential to the White House," some "journalists" are offended.

ABC's Ann Compton was perplexed: "Is Scott suggesting the White House press corps can stop, or start wars?"

David Gregory, NBC News' chief White House correspondent, opined: "I think he's wrong." He added: "I think we pushed, I think we prodded. ...The right questions were asked."

I think it takes a lot of goddamn arrogance to party with Karl Rove like this and claim objectivity. The Fourth Estate, aka Mainstream Media, is on the inside of the power elite sphere, and they know fucking well who butters their bread. Oh sure, they pose a few show questions now and then, but ask them to leave the buffet in the press room long enough to perhaps investigate beneath the veneer of White House propaganda, and they claim it's not their job. Ann Compton engages in some really dopey rhetoric asking "Is Scott suggesting the White House press corps can stop, or start wars?" Of course the press cannot stop or start wars, BUT THEY CAN DO THEIR FUCKING JOB AND INFORM THE PEOPLE OF THIS COUNTRY SO THEY DON'T GET BAMBOOZLED AND SUCKED INTO IDIOTIC WARS AND SHITTY DOMESTIC POLICIES. If all they do is echo the news releases from the administration, what is their added value?

They make me sick. David Gregory, you should exile yourself to a cave for a while and reflect on the blood on your hands and those of your fellow bootlicking colleagues. Are those press dinners really worth the lives of Americans and Iraqis?

You're goddamned right I'm mad.

The Grab

2008-05-28T21:41:00.002-07:00

Swarm

2008-05-28T19:42:00.001-07:00

Worse and Worser

2008-05-27T18:07:00.004-07:00

Warning

2008-05-26T21:56:00.002-07:00

Good News, Bad News

2008-05-25T22:31:00.002-07:00

Two Conversations

2008-05-25T09:21:00.005-07:00

(A friendly note--if a panel look too small on your monitor, clicking on it will enlarge it. However, in the interest of keeping the loading times short, the panels are pretty lo-fi and so some may look a bit rough when magnified. On the other hand, it usually makes the light/shade balance better to enlarge them and you might catch a bit more detail.)

Erosion

2008-05-25T09:18:00.002-07:00

Tragedy Seized by Opportunists

2008-05-24T23:54:00.002-07:00

Separation

2008-05-24T19:09:00.002-07:00

Eyes Open

2008-05-23T21:54:00.001-07:00

Sabine and Olaf on Laughing and Vigilance

2008-05-23T17:05:00.002-07:00

One panel per day...

2008-05-23T17:03:00.003-07:00

Just a brief interruption here. Now that the strip is launched, I'll be putting up one panel per day, both to make catching up a little easier as well as to create (I hope) a more regular interest, if there is any. If that rate turns out to drive you nuts, I might go back to lengthier posts. But I've just completed the next eleven pages, and it's starting to go places...in my head, at least.

If you make this blog your home page (hint), then you'll get the latest panel every day and start your day with excitement, romance, fright, apprehension, disdain, jealousy, and on and on. Why bother with real news when you can start the day with Olaf Rotkohl?

A Woman

2008-05-20T22:02:00.003-07:00

Coming Soon!

2008-05-18T22:07:00.000-07:00

We will be introduced to the Gasmasked Man (apologies to the Lone Ranger).

What Once We Had...and Where It Went

2008-05-15T23:27:00.011-07:00

Wrapping Up the Expository...

2008-05-14T19:23:00.006-07:00

Trouble with Comix

2008-05-13T21:41:00.004-07:00

Hey folks, I'm having some trouble with Blogger accepting my cartoons. I have five new pieces to upload as soon as it's worked out. Sorry for the delay.

Consequence

2008-05-10T17:39:00.004-07:00

For those of you just joining, please start back on the May 8, 2008, entry entitled "Discuss."
Meanwhile...

The Power

2008-05-10T14:15:00.003-07:00

The Story Begins...

2008-05-09T10:38:00.005-07:00

Discuss...

2008-05-08T21:11:00.003-07:00

Anyone out there?

The Irony Meter Is Broken

2008-04-21T20:24:00.004-07:00

First, the quote, courtesy of the Boston Herald and the Associated Press:

Condoleezza Rice branded anti-American cleric Muqtada al-Sadr a coward yesterday, hours after the radical leader threatened to declare war unless U.S. and Iraqi forces end a military crackdown on his followers.
The U.S. secretary of state, on a surprise visit to tout security gains and what she calls an emerging political consensus, said al-Sadr is content to issue threats from the safety of Iran, where he is studying.

“I know he’s sitting in Iran,” Rice said dismissively when asked about al-Sadr’s latest threat to lift a self-imposed cease-fire with government and U.S. forces. “I guess it’s all-out war for anybody but him,” Rice said. “I guess that’s the message; his followers can go to their deaths and he’s in Iran.”

Sadr is a thug and a murderer, as power-crazed as anyone...which begs the question.

What of George W. Bush, who: avoided service in Vietnam, in fact avoided even completing his Air National Guard Service; who landed on the U.S. Abraham Lincoln five years ago in fighter pilot costume to declared "Mission Accomplished"; who said "Bring it on"; who has presided over what is likely the greatest foreign policy disaster in our lifetimes, sacrificing over 4000 U.S. military personnel while he made jokes about weapons of mass destruction? This guy is a hero to 30% of the remaining right-wing dead-enders while he loiters in Washington or out in the weeds in Texas?

And Condi continues to serve him and praise him, without a hint of irony or shame.

Too bad she won't run accept McCain's over of the VP slot. Then we could have a full review of her "contribution" to the decline of America.

Of course, our intrepid mainstream media would do a thorough examination, right?

TV Shot Him Dead in the Head

2008-04-16T20:55:00.003-07:00

This is how I feel every time I succumb to cable news shows--murdered by triviality, shallowness, and the assumption that I am stupid enough to waste hours of my life listening to these idiotic broadcasts, which, sadly, I apparently am.

And it's a metaphor for the nation as well: TV is killing us. Is it the chicken or the egg? Do we not demand enough, or have the "news" and its ruthless pimping advertisers just become too overpowering to change?

Anyway, I'm making a pledge as of this moment--no more cable or network news. I'll read from now on, thank you very much, and I won't even listen to NPR either, because its increasing sponsorships from corporate coffers is damned annoying even if not yet suspiciously influential. And it does seem as if they are dumbing down their broadcasts as well by covering stories that are really peripheral compared to the heavy issues that really deserve what limited time and resources are available.

I'm better off reading highly partisan newspapers and magazines on all sides than having information prechewed and vomited at me in bilious yellows of corrupted journalism. I will, however, continue to view "Fast Money" and "Mad Money" on CNBC for the entertainment value, not to mention the positive effect it's having on my wealth accumulation by educating me. I gotta get to Berlin somehow.

Will anyone else like to take the pledge? I could sure use a support group.

The bottom line, however--death to TV "news."

I See that Ann Coulter is in Town

2008-04-09T17:29:00.004-07:00

I wouldn't have guessed that she drove a banana-yellow VW Vanagon, though. I think she needs it to carry her cigarettes and Price Club bottles of emetic.

Lest We Forget...

2008-03-25T21:31:00.003-07:00

...the true source of this mess in Iraq and why Osama remains free along the Afghanistan-Pakistan border. This man's megalomania has run wild for far too long.

This YouTube Video Is Funny!

2008-03-19T21:17:00.001-07:00

Oh man! NashvilleNancy is a hoot. Enjoy this McCain tribute!

"You're All Gonna Die...

2008-03-19T20:40:00.001-07:00

...before ah admit ah was wrong!"

It's Chimpie-in-Charge! Happy 5th anniversary!

Lookit Them Peasants, Bernie...

2008-03-19T19:58:00.004-07:00

"Between the two of us, Bernie, we done fucked up this country but good."

"Yes, Mr. President. Thank you for the opportunity to further enrich my friends and destroy the middle class."

"Don't mention it, Bernie. Iraq will seem like a picnic when ah git done destroyin' this economy. Them damn people have misunderestimated me for the last time."

Here's to Foreign Policy and War Experience

2008-03-18T20:20:00.003-07:00

I hope by now the whole country is aware of this gaffe, if indeed it was a gaffe.

Mr. McCain said several times in his visit to Jordan — in a news conference and in a radio interview — that he was concerned that Iran was training Al Qaeda in Iraq. The United States believes that Iran, a Shiite country, has been training and financing Shiite extremists in Iraq, but not Al Qaeda, which is a Sunni insurgent group.
Mr. McCain said at a news conference in Amman that he continued to be concerned about Iranians “taking Al Qaeda into Iran, training them and sending them back.” Asked about that statement, Mr. McCain said: “Well, it’s common knowledge and has been reported in the media that Al Qaeda is going back into Iran and receiving training and are coming back into Iraq from Iran. That’s well known. And it’s unfortunate.”
It was not until he got a quiet word of correction in his ear from Senator Joseph I. Lieberman of Connecticut, who was traveling with Mr. McCain as part of a Congressional delegation on a nearly weeklong trip, that Mr. McCain corrected himself.

I can understand a slip of the tongue, saying one thing while thinking another, but this assertion by McCain occurred more than once over two days, having been uttered on a radio show as well. Here's McCain's own press release:

In a press conference today, John McCain misspoke and immediately corrected himself by stating that Iran is in fact supporting radical Islamic extremists in Iraq, not Al Qaeda -- as the transcript shows. Democrats have launched political attacks today because they know the American people have deep concerns about their candidates' judgment and readiness to lead as commander in chief.

On its face, this is a bullshit statement--McCain didn't correct himself; Lieberman corrected him. We have already endured seven long years of massive and destructive fuckups by a similarly addled mind and goddamn it we need to have a chief executive who is lucid, quick on his/her feet, and knows the details of the region and people where we are at war. To untangle the rats' nest of foreign policy idiocy, economic policy incompetence, and constitutional dismemberment we cannot afford anyone who is marginal on any aspect of what is vital to our nation.

Dollar Hits New Low, Oil Hits New High, and Who Benefits?

2008-03-03T19:50:00.005-07:00

Vladimir is sittin' on top of the world. Russia has a new prez, who happens to be Vlad's protege, and Vlad himself will be the next prime minister. Russia has more oil, gold, platinum, and other commodities than it can export and the Russian people seem to enjoy living under this authoritarian regime. And investment money is flooding in to help build a solid business infrastructure.

Funny how less than ten years after a financial collapse in Russia, they are now lending us money. Like him or hate him, there is no question that Putin has turned Russia around from being a basket case heading into third-world status into becoming a powerhouse in the global economy. But the astonishing turnaround is all the more startling when contrasted with the consequent incompetence nearly across the board in gross mismanagement of the US economy.

When George Bush said he looked into Putin's soul, you know what I think he saw? I thing he saw that he was fucked. Putin is smarter and tougher than Bush ever dreamed of becoming and he has proved it by somehow reconfiguring the wreckage of the former Soviet Union into the new Russia.

Let me emphasize that I am not endorsing authoritarianism, but I wonder what the fate of Russia would have been otherwise? Putin brooks no opposition, and his coldness at the murder of journalist Anna Politskaya was frightening, not to mention what he's done in Chechnya. But the KGB didn't create cream puffs, and Putin, rather than clinging to failed ideologies or fantasies of godly redemption through Jesus, grasps the fundamental laws of power and wealth. That's pragmatism writ large--he may have been a commie, but he was a Russian first.

And we have played right into his global plan. Bush hasn't got a fucking clue what terrible damage he's done to this country, and he's even more numb when it comes to the growing power of our former nemesis.

Bush is Vlad's little bitch.

With Friends Like These...Deadly Embrace #2

2008-02-22T19:41:00.003-07:00

That's the expected Republican presidential nominee on the left, and on the right is another Repug who is likely going down the river to the Big House for a long, long time.

Naturally, McCain is not responsible for the actions of his campaign's co-chairs, but goddamn is it delicious that one of the major scumbags in Congress, Rick Renzi (R-AZ district 1) has been indicted on 35 counts in a 26-page indictment issued by federal prosecutors today, including charges of extortion, embezzlement, money laundering, and wire fraud. Given that Olaf and family have had to endure this weasel as our representative in Washington, and that we actively picketed and protested outside his campaign office for his racist and generally filthy tactics in getting elected, this is a welcome exposure to yet another example of "Republican values."

Renzi is an interesting pathological case: former collegiate football star with a bachelor's degree in fucking criminal justice, fer chrissakes, with twelve(!!!) children, who owns a company called "Patriot Insurance" from which he is now charged with embezzlement of nearly $400,000 dollars of clients' money in addition to the shit he allegedly pulled while in office. I mean, extortion? Not even Duke Cunningham (R, CA), now serving 12 years in the penitentiary for crooked dealings, went that far.

So that's why Johnny-boy is not looking so good in this photo. Not even nominated yet and it's already coming down around him.

As for Ricky, it's time to put away those tight jeans you favor so much. Don't want to attract too much attention in the cell bloc.

Deadly Embrace

2008-02-18T21:42:00.004-07:00

Today John McCain received George Herbert Walker Bush's endorsement, and in return McCain said he'd be honored to receive Junior's as well. It certainly couldn't be any sweeter than this moment in 2004 when the "maverick" McCain gave much love to GW. Makes your heart swell, doesn't it?

I can only hope that this photo (the original, anyway--not Olaf's modest interpretation) becomes a staple of the Democratic campaign, to remind every American exactly what the connection is between these last seven years in Bushworld and what we ought to expect from a Republican successor.

It's really pretty disgusting, isn't it? The smug look on Junior's face and the way McCain nuzzles him? And the irony of course is that despite this, the Limbaughs and Coulters and their wingnuttery parade still won't support him until he further diminishes himself by licking their jackboots.

Which is actually pretty delightful sight to consider witnessing.

Of course, the Repugs will yammer endlessly on McCain's years in the Hanoi Hilton in an attempt to make him unassailable, but I don't think that that is going to work in the face of an eroding economy. Besides, as much as Ann Coulter hates McCain, I'm just waiting for her to say something like he had himself shot down over North Vietnam as part of a long-term plan to gain the presidency. And Limbaugh may well repeat the accusations made by Karl Rove's machine in 2000.

Did they do anything less to John Kerry in 2004? Did they do anything less to McCain himself in South Carolina in the 2000 Repug primary?

Here's hoping it turns into a cannibal carnival in the GOP!

State of the Union

2008-01-28T19:25:00.001-07:00

Three thousand nine hundred forty dead Americans and counting. Rather an expensive crotch enhancement, you goddamned idiot.

Market Meltdown or the Chance of a Lifetime?

2008-01-21T14:32:00.000-07:00

Indeed--how long is now, because sometimes you just don't want to face what's coming in the morning.

Oh, man, tomorrow is going to be nasty in the stock market. As I write this, Dow futures are down 500 points (!) and European and Asian stocks have gotten hammered today, which is another indicator of a bloodbath on Wall Street in the morning.

But is this a bad thing?

If you're a new investor, perhaps with some cash you've been saving, the whole market is essentially going on sale. In fact, the more it falls, the more you can buy. The question is, however, when to get in? Where is the bottom? Which sectors will bounce back first? Will any sectors bounce back?

In other words, is this the normal capitalistic cycle that tends to destroy working and middle class lives to the enrichment of the top one percent, or a full-blown depression that can even punish some of the less well-advised rich classes?

Just don't stand under any open windows in the financial district tomorrow.

In my own gut I'm weirdly optimistic, but that might be just that there is entertainment value in watching CNBC during such volatile, downward activity and thinking that I might be, for once in my sorry life, right about how seriously bad this is going to be. No, it's not all schadenfreude, because however much the super-rich are hurt, they'll remain at least regular-rich while many good people are going to really suffer. But there are a lot of young folks who are going to get their revenge on my generation by buying into a market at their elders' expense. As Baby Boomers are now retiring and redeeming their investments for something to live on, their collapsing equity will be a bargain for those looking twenty or thirty years down the road.

There is a problem, however, with holding cash on the sidelines if it's in dollars--although the slide against the Euro may have slowed, our national indebtedness to foreign lenders makes me very nervous because those dollars could actually lose value, making European stocks more expensive, erasing their advantage. (Please understand that I think the EU is the underreported powerhouse in the world, and far less dependent on US economic health than Asia.)

It's one thing when the out-of-power (even when in-power) Democrats talk about stimulus packages and nobody pays attention. But things have gotten so dire that even Bush has now come out of his sedated state long enough to want to dump $145 billion into the economy via tax rebates. Despite that, the international markets are not mollified. People are freaking out. Let's just hope it's a buying opportunity for us little guys and not a rapid descent into global economic turmoil a la 1929.

The Torment Continues

2008-01-15T20:37:00.001-07:00

Actually, I jest. Watching the Repugs continue their assaults on one another is better than football, so I'm glad Mitt won in Michigan. So to recap, Huckabee takes Iowa, McCain gets New Hampshire, and Romney wins Michigan. After Nevada the real stabfest will commence in South Carolina. Remember what Rove and the Bushits did to McCain in 2000?

I'm popping the popcorn now. It's going to be a delightful bloodbath.

The Bull Market Is Dead. Long Live the Bullshit Economy.

2008-01-11T20:03:00.001-07:00

The tech bubble burst in 2001. The housing bubble burst in 2007. The dollar is prevented from falling further by all the foreign debt holders who would like to cash out but can't because it would cause a panic on the dollar and a subsequent collapse of the value of their holdings. The Fed is hinting at lower interest rates to free up some capital.

What we need, of course, is another bubble to obscure the housing pop. For a fascinating and likely prescient article on what lies ahead, I recommend you read "The Next Bubble" by Eric Janszen in the February 2008 issue of Harper's Magazine, available at your local newsstand (although you should really be a subscriber). Janszen sees in the sudden hype over alternative and green energy initiatives to modify tax laws and create new financial instruments the creation of the next bubble, and my aim is this time to get in early, not be greedy, and bug out with a nice gain, even if it's quite modest by the standards of most Wall Street types.

I'm thinking of European alternative energy companies so that at least the investments and returns are in more stable Euros, and also because the Europeans seem to be much more serious about the technology. My suspicion is demand in this country will drive a serious importation of Euro-tech equipment and software.

Forgive me for writing of economic matters--they're pretty dull--but Janszen's article really got me thinking about how to profit from these tulip-bulb manias rather than just watching them from the sidelines. I got burned a little in the tech meltdown, but knew better than to have anything to do with the real estate insanity theses last few years, despite being a little tempted by the ridiculous gains that were made by those who got in and then out in the meaty part of that inflated curve.

We're in a deeply disturbing cycle of denial and unreasonable optimism as each "next new thing" arises and sucks yet more wealth from the working classes into the tax-favored holdings of the few who know how to play the game, and who, in fact, control the game. I don't think it's any accident that economic education is wholly absent from the public school curricula.

Read the article. Read it twice. Think it over. If possible, play the game with the odds on your side.

Uh, I Think It's Snowing

2008-01-07T19:02:00.000-07:00

Two hours to shovel out the driveway and cut a path for the mail carrier, but under a clear blue sky. Then Dorothy and I went for a lovely walk, or rather, I walked and Dorothy porpoised, occasionally coming up for air. Ain't she cute?

Tomorrow is the New Hampshire primary, but why should it matter? Until the lobbyists have a fire hose turned on them, flushing them out of the Capitol, it'll be politics as usual. We are a corporation, not a country, and the hope of Obama or the experience of Hilary, or the battle-tested courtroom skills of Edwards won't make a damn difference. Add onto that that ABC banned Dennis Kucinich from a Democratic debate and Fox News (sic) banned Ron Paul from that of the Republicans, and the idea of a marketplace of ideas, free and fair elections, blah, blah, blah, just gets pounded further into dust. We don't even get a chance to hear views that don't fit into a narrow and mistaken idea of what America could be.

I'm cold and tired, so I ain't got more to say at the moment. I'm just going to enjoy Dorothy's adorability.

Happy New Year 2008!

2007-12-31T23:04:00.000-07:00

All the best to you from Olaf, family, friends, and critters. Let's close the book on 2007 and make 2008 a year worth smiling over.

Got Those After Xmas Blues?

2007-12-27T21:30:00.001-07:00

You're not alone, friend. You're not alone.

Your Good Big Brother Is Still With You

2007-12-27T21:10:00.001-07:00

At the interstice between Xmas and New Years Day, it is good to remember that Olaf is watching over all things, even if he has been, um, delinquent in his postings lately. Perhaps 2008 will open new vistas or give him a clonk on the head so fucking serious that he will rave like the madman he truly wants to be. God knows there are many who would love to do some clonking on Olaf. For those of you in this corner of the Southwest, line up and I'll open my noggin to ya. No pointed objects, please.

With the assassination of Benazir Bhutto, suddenly Iraq recedes into the misadventure it has always been (never a threat) and Afghanistan, which squirted away thanks to the Iraqi distraction is now, along with the border region in Pakistan, hosting ever more Taliban. Pakistan immediately takes front and center, and here are the sobering facts. Pakistan is the sixth largest country in the world (bigger than Russia, as Joe Biden pointed out today) and they have nukes now, not in some uncertain and distant future like Iran. Their dispute with India over Kashmir and the bloody past mixed in with a potential political collapse if Musharraf goes the way of Ms. Bhutto's father or his murderers, Zia al Haq, could be the start of the first thermonuclear exchange. Heaven help us if that erupts.

Bombing the shit out of Iran doesn't seem so important or smart against backdrop, does it? But I'll just wager that Bush and Cheney are using this assassination in Pakistan as a veil under which to advance all their plans to do just that. Why?

I wish I knew, but they are nothing if not determined, even if it is by now driven only by madness.

Actually, however, I'm actually in a pretty good mood, despite the grim visage above. In my spare time I've been laying down tracks on what I think may be a pretty good tune, a rather upbeat thing with a nice swing to it. Don't have a title yet.

Happy New Year, y'all.

One Solution to the Television Writers' Strike

2007-12-21T09:12:00.000-07:00

After we are all done stressing out to the max for the holidays, after all our family dramas have been thoroughly heated in the pressure cooker of our "perfect Xmas" mythology and all the sibling and parental issues have resurrected their ugly heads even though we've all been successful at playing grown-ups for decades, what are we left to do?

Well, sit back down in front of your new 56" HDTV and get ready for the second half of the season. Unfortunately, the writers are on strike, and speaking for myself, I don't think I can bear any more "reality" television that revolves around skanky love (Rock of Love, A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila, I Love New York 2, The Real World, etc.) without becoming a serious threat to civilized society.

But I was gratified to learn of a pilot for a really real reality show: Gitmo TV, a secret photograph I was able to cadge thanks to a lead from a favorite streetwalker along Rosenthalerstrasse, who directed me to a secret group of offices where the program is being hatched. It's in Berlin due to concerns of secrecy. Here's the concept.

In the first two episodes we will get to know twelve inmates at Gitmo, eleven of whom are innocent Afghan, Somali, Yemeni, and Iraqi shopkeepers and peasants, but one of whom is a seriously ambitious al Qaeda member with visions of 72 virgins dancing in his head. The identity of the al Qaeda member is unknown to anyone except the show's producer. Each week, the inmates will be given challenges, both in teams and as individuals. And every week, depending on the outcome and the discussion among the judges (a Cuban, an evangelical death penalty advocate, an atheistic alcoholic, an Islamic mullah, a devout Mormon, and a secular Jew), the audience will vote by phone ($0.90 per call) for which one of the inmates will be selected for various "repugnant acts," in the words of newly minted US Attorney General Mukasey, which might or might not constitute torture, like waterboarding ("It's like swimming," according to Senator Kit Bond (R-his own ass)), electric shock, freestyle Tasering, rumping with a broomstick, and other recreational activities.

All of this, of course, will be shot in High Definition Television with previously unused technology like "Invadocam" that can show the introduction of the "Giuliani broom handle" into the rectum of a losing inmate.

The final episode, of course, will result in the execution of an inmate as the "true terrorist" as selected by the viewing audience in a manner also to be selected by the viewing audience for the ultimate in democratic action in national security. I don't think Big Brother, the Amazing Race, or Survivor will ever be the same again after this.

You saw it here first.

"Chimpie" Is Retired

2007-12-12T18:00:00.000-07:00

Regards and props to Dumb Drum Guy for spurring me into posting again. It's good to know you're out there. Thanks, man!

Now to bidness, as they say in Crawford, Texas.

After receiving the following letter accompanied by the photo of its author at home, above, I wish to offer my sincere apologies to the simian brother- and sisterhood for any offense. I am deeply, deeply sorry that I was so thick-headed that I could not see the obvious problem with the term "Chimpie." Here's the letter:

Dear Mr. Rotkohl,

First, let me say that I am a fan and, although I only rarely post comments, I keep your blog on my bookmarks list and check it regularly. Even my wife finds you amusing at times, and even informative now and then. However, there is a matter that I can no long keep my silence over, and now that you have my photograph, you may understand why.

I do recognize the resemblance between my species and the president, but while it may seem to be a comic reference in some contexts, it begins to wear rather thin, especially after nearly seven years of increasing criminality, incompetence, and dishonesty coming from this White House. Now, whenever I see "Chimpie" in your posts, I cringe to think that anyone would begin to think that we are somehow responsible for this particular simian dunce in the Oval Office. It's true we share nearly 99 percent of our DNA with your species, but that gives no license for you or anyone to slander us or any of the other great apes with responsibility for having produced this specimen.

This is not an issue of political correctness, as I hope you will see having received this letter. I doubt you have had much contact with chimpanzees on a close, one-to-one level, so I hope that it is only an oversight and a failure of your otherwise compassionate nature to make this nickname a handle for the president.

But don't stop hammering these people! They have fucked up our world too, you know.

Keep it real, Dude!

Sincerely,

Arthur M. de Saussure, PhD
Washington, D.C.

Global Warming May Be Bad, But It Gets Worse

2007-11-18T18:04:00.001-07:00

I had to change into my cool yellow HazMat suit for this one. As you may have heard, the United Nations report on climate change is none too cheerful, and even as gloomy as it is, there is speculation that it is still too optimistic and that things are going to get far worse much quicker than is being reported. I understand the need for caution--we don't want global panic. But on the other hand, I feel it is my duty to my reader(s), which although declining (the number of my readers, not my duty) to reveal the heretofore hidden portions of the report.

So grab your favorite beverage, make it a double, then double that, and sit down for a minute. Here's what no one is telling you until now.

Godzilla is coming back. And this time, he's bringing his homies: the Giant Behemoth, Mothra, and Rodan. The increase in ocean temperatures has re-stimulated the regeneration capabilities of these various monsters' remaining parts in the various watery areas of the world where they have lain for several decades. Not since the nuclear bomb testing in the Pacific at places like Enewetak, Bikini Atoll, and Christmas Island has this phenomenon occurred, and the disaster that awaits us when these beasts arise from the seas will make global warming seem only a minor inconvenient truth. What's a hurricane compared to 20,000 tons of angry lizard who breathes radioactive fire? What's FEMA gonna do about that, eh?

Let me point out that one of the primary effects of Godzilla's radioactive breath is electromagnetic pulse (EMP), which will disable anything within range that contains microprocessors, and that means just about everything these days--automobiles, aircraft, communication systems, ovens, all computers of course, and even heart pacemakers (Sorry, Dick, but sometimes being an evil cyborg does have its disadvantages).

Stay tuned and start your bunker preparations. It's going to be every Jane and John for her- or himself when the giant lizards, insects, and pteranodons come over the horizon.

You've been warned.

Invaded Iraq, Who Didn't Attack Us, and Now Target Iran Although It's Police State Pakistan that has the Bomb

2007-11-06T19:42:00.001-07:00

I can think of no one happier with George W. Bush than the guy who had his soul looked into by him--Vladimir Putin. Still a viable nuclear power, a potentially huge problem for Europe, and an ally of sorts to Iran, the Russian president has got to be laughing and laughing and laughing as the US finds that only 17 percent of Turkey's citizens like us, our "ally" Musharraf has declared a police state, and wherever Condi Rice goes for diplomatic kneebending, disaster follows.

With Musharraf going to ground, resistance and fighting may well break out in Pakistan for control of the country and its nuclear arsenal. Although the US is not in any danger from attack by Pakistan--they lack long-range delivery capability--if radical Muslim extremists topple the government, our posturing over Iran or bin Laden and the "smoking gun that is a mushroom cloud" (such a dumb pairing of tropes!) is going to be mooted, and our failure to close out the Taliban in Afghanistan will come back to haunt us.

Putin is an old KGB guy, and he knows how to exploit weakness, whether it is personal or national In some ways he is liberated completely from ideological concerns that constrained his Soviet forebears, and can play any advantage that we lay at his feet.

The Middle East is suppurating like an open wound, and it's going to seriously damage the defensive health of this nation--the real purpose of a US military establishment instead of this commercial protection racket that we're running now.

And yes, that's me in the mask, struggling to find some clean air.

Oh! The Hubris!

2007-11-01T19:17:00.000-07:00

The "Lack of Self Awareness Award" for the entire decade has to go to Chimpie. I swear, this is someone with absolutely no shame, no knowledge of history, and the rhetorical integrity of the playground. From the AP today:

Bush argued the current debate over the Iraq war and the administration's anti-terror methods harkens back to debates decades ago over resisting action when Soviet founder Vladimir Lenin first talked about launching a communist revolution, when Adolf Hitler began moves to establish an "Aryan superstate" in Germany, and in the early days of the Cold War when some advocated accommodation of the Soviet Union.

"Now we're at the start of a new century, and the same debate is once again unfolding, this time regarding my policy in the Middle East," Bush said. "Once again, voices in Washington are arguing that the watchword of the policy should be stability."

Bush said any denial of war is dangerous.

"History teaches us that underestimating the words of evil, ambitious men is a terrible mistake," Bush said. "Bin Laden and his terrorist allies have made their intentions as clear as Lenin and Hitler before them. And the question is, will we listen?"

I only have one question, Mr. El Presidente--have you fucking caught bin Laden yet?"

Oh, and World War II lasted from September 1, 1939 until August 15, 1945, taking just under six years to defeat the German-Italian-Japanese Axis powers. It has now been six years and nearly two months since September 11, 2001. Osama bin Laden is still sending you videos. Al Qaeda, with no nation-state to work from, no armament factories, no natural resources, no defensible borders, no nuclear capability for either delivery or detonation, a disconnected network of freelance ideological operatives, is something you claim is as big a threat as was the Soviet Union or Nazi Germany and even requires more shredding of the Constitution than Roosevelt, Truman, Eisenhower, Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan, Bush Sr., or Clinton ever, EVER contemplated, let alone attempted.

The threat is overstated to serve your megalomaniacal lust, and yet you cannot even deliver up a skinny old man from a warren of caves to show for it.

What a fucking failure you are. Why couldn't you have just become baseball commissioner? At least that wouldn't have killed anyone and a real president could have had bin Laden and his cohort liquidated without breaking a sweat.

Failure.